ByEileen Beard

Eileen Beard is an aspiring television writer living in Los Angeles. She spends her spare time listening to cheesy R&B music and dreaming of being a late night talk show guest, but definitely not chugging keg beer. She never chugs keg beer anymore, Mom.

  1. It was my fault. I invited vipers into my den. When it came time to send out invites to my 12th birthday party, I padded the list with my frenemy, Lindsey, and friends of friends like Lela and Rachel until I had as many guests as I now had years. Several of them probably resented spending their Sunday afternoon at the home of a girl they barely knew, but once the invites get sent out,…

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  2. Previous entries in the DUI series can be found¬†here.¬† The night I was arrested on my first drunk driving offense, I was chauffeuring a car full of teenagers and a 30-pack of beer from a keg party on the eastern outskirts of town to another keg party on the western outskirts of town. As I drove along Highway 16, I turned my attention from the road to the center console, scanning…

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