ByEllen Ioanes

Ellen Ioanes is originally from North Carolina and now lives in New York City. Sometimes she is funny on Twitter.

  1. Crime: Overcooked pasta There are instructions on the package. They are not complicated, if you are a literate person. Honestly, you can just set a timer and walk away if you want to. Salt the water and set the timer, that’s all you have to do. I mean, stir occasionally, but only very occasionally. If I wanted flavorless mush of an indeterminate origin, I’d be in a Dickens novel right now. If found guilty of…