ByJessica Ellis

Jessica Ellis is an award-winning screenwriter who has never written anything you've seen. You can find her hawking her wares like a Dickensian fishwife on Twitter at @baddestmamajama.

  1. You've always dreamed of seeing Italy, but your parents discourage this. They discourage most things, living as they do in a battered farmhouse in the west, where they consider cake a foolish luxury and don't much care for gifts.

  2. Dear Toast Readers, before this relationship we have goes further than you reading the title and my name, there’s something you have to know about me. It's very sad, and I want you to prepare yourself: It’s about my family. Look, it’s a tragic fact of biology- some genes just don’t mix right and you get conditions endemic to a whole set of otherwise nice people. In my family, however, it’s a little worse than…