Movies The Sequel To The Beauty And The Beast Those Hot Blonde Triplets Deserve by Mallory Ortberg · April 15, 2015 THEY WERE EASILY AS GOOD-LOOKING AS BELLE, COME ON.
Books Children’s Stories Made Horrific: The Beauty And The Beast by Mallory Ortberg · March 5, 2015 Fathers have given their daughters to monsters before.
Advice No One’s Slick As Gaston: A Pickup Artist’s Guide by Mallory Ortberg · May 6, 2014 Gaston teaches the rest of you beta maggots how to score hot babes.
Advice How Beauty and the Beast Should Have Ended, If Belle Weren’t A Short-Sighted Idiot by Mallory Ortberg · May 1, 2014 Belle was so close to commanding a soulless, deathless army in Beauty and the Beast. But she blew it.