Jasmine Guillory's work for The Toast can be found here. Previously in this series: If John Cho Were Your Boyfriend. If Michelle Obama were your girlfriend, she would make you get up and go to the gym with her at 5:30 in the morning every day, but she would stand next to you and lovingly cheer you on the whole time, cheering loudest when you finally managed to do one whole push-up. If Michelle Obama were your girlfriend, you would…