Previously by Paula Duhatschek: Everything You Can Buy in a 1977 Archie Comic, in Order of Desirability "I Enjoyed My Teenage Years, But Don’t Think of Them Often" "The Knowledge Economy is Coming and I For One Am Thankful" "The Highway’s Jammed (with Responsible Drivers Who Have Made a Choice to Obey the Recommended Speed Limit)" "The Homecoming King and Queen Enjoyed an Amicable Divorce" "I’m Looking Forward to Revisiting My Hometown, Where the American…

These days you hear a lot about the decline of print culture, and I think we all know what’s at fault: not enough mail-order products being sold in contemporary magazines. As a favour to all current and future publishing houses, I have taken the liberty of listing and ranking everything for sale in a 1977 issue of Archie, so that we all may learn by example. 1. 100 Little Dolls for $2.00 “Little dolls” are…