GENIUS: Ghostwriter manipulates letters of text in books, newspapers, what have you, to form clues that help the youths solve mysteries. His abilities transcend anagrammar. Most likely because he is a ghost.

SUIT #3: What does he look like?

GENIUS: Kind of like a feed icon.

Well, I guess...I guess it's time to call it. PBS – the Public Broadcasting Service – just filmed a video investigating Ronbledore.

VISIONARY: So there’s this dog. PBS SUITS: We’re listening. VISIONARY: And he loves books. [nodding, nodding] VISIONARY: He knows all about classic books. SUIT #1: Adorable. SUIT #2: Like a cartoon dog? VISIONARY: No, no. A live Jack Russell Terrier. […] VISIONARY: He belongs to a boy named Joe. SUIT #1: Nice. SUIT #3: And Joe reads him the books? VISIONARY: No, Joe couldn’t care less about books. SUIT #3: Oh. Okay. VISIONARY: Joe and…

I hear your objections already. "But Mallory, I have seventeen mortgages and my job was murdered in the Recession Tornado of Aught-Six." "Mallory, I had to sell my parents in order to pay off my student loans." "Mallory, I'm being chased by jewel thieves." [gesticulates wildly] Pshshshspspshshpsh. Hush. LeVar Burton wants our money, and frankly he deserves it more than we do. Do you remember the episode of Parks and Recreation where Ben asks Pawnee's chief of…