What To Do With Yourself Now That You’ve Finished Orange Is the New Black -The Toast

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To begin with, I think we can all agree that the title is awful. Because it is awful, and cutesy, and glib in the worst way. But the show is good–really good–and it gets better the more you watch, in the kind of way that makes it impossible to stop watching, or imploring your friends to watch, or writing vague, shocked reactions to plot twists on Twitter. And there’s only thirteen episodes! So of course you’re finished with it, and you don’t know what to do with yourself now.

If you’re not finished, go watch it now. It won’t take more than thirteen hours. We’ll wait.

So: you’re finished, if you weren’t already, and you don’t know what to watch or read next. Here are a few suggestions.

If what you miss is…Exuberant, explicit love stories between doe-eyed prisoners

Then what you need isI Love You, Phillip Morris [Apple TV | Netflix (DVD only)]

If what you miss is…true-life stories with shocking endings

Then what you need isI Am A Fugitive From A Chain Gang [Dailymotion] [Amazon | Indiebound]

If what you miss is…hearing about the lived experiences, struggles, and needs of incarcerated women

Then what you need is…Silja Talvi’s Women Behind Bars: The Crisis of Women in the U.S. Prison System [Amazon | Indiebound]

If what you miss is…Lesbians; ensemble shows that can pass the Bechdel test; explorations of gender identity

Then what you need isChica Busca Chica [Wolfe Video (DVD only)], Girltrash! [Blip], Lovers and Friends [Blip]

If what you miss is…Seeing trans* and genderqueer roles played by trans* and genderqueer performers

Then what you need is…The Switch [Trembling Void Studios]

If what you miss is…Natasha Lyonne

Then what you need is…If These Walls Could Talk 2 [Netflix (DVD only)], But I’m a Cheerleader [Ditto]

Please also feel free to consider this your Monday open thread. Questions to consider:

1. What is it about Jason Biggs that is so profoundly unsettling and repellant? Is it the eyes? Or something more?

2. You’ve already seen Oz, right? What do you like to pretend happened instead of the sixth season?

3. Will there ever be a show about prison that doesn’t feel the need to begin with a wide-eyed “fish out of water” storyline? (Orange would be fine without Piper. That doesn’t even need to be said.)

4. Did you know Laverne Cox has a recurring column on the Huffington Post? Go read all of the entries now, then come back.

5. Claudette, man. Right? Claudette.

6. I don’t know what to tell you all when it comes to talking about spoilers and how to handle them. Strive for harmony and understanding, I suppose.

7. If These Walls Could Talk 2 was pretty bad, if I remember correctly, but not so bad that baby-butch Chloë Sevigny couldn’t partially redeem it. Am I remembering it correctly?

[Image via Wikimedia Commons]

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