(as opposed to the nation’s)

Physical Education:
Can take food in mouth and somehow push it through body and eventually out – consistently
Can turn food into energy source without aid of batteries or wind power – consistently

Art:
Folds napkins into swans – never
Uses cloth napkins – never
Uses paper napkins – rarely
Uses paper towels – often
Uses shirt – opportunistically

Religion:
Has grasped that providing self with food is morally neutral – shows improvement

Social Skills:
Shares dessert with minimal resentment – mostly
Demonstrates self-control – often
Accepts responsibility for own actions – when indicated
Respects rights and feelings of others – if not raisin-based

Mathematics:
Can divide a frittata between six people evenly – mostly
Can divide a pint of ice cream into 3.5 servings – rarely

Reading:
Can process the written word while eating – always
Can identify and avoid menu items whose price is listed as “MP” – consistently

Listening and Speaking:
Finishes chewing before speaking – almost always