Just the titles alone have me laughing helplessly.
Linette+48
The faint ongoing noise of the crying baby seems like appropriate background music for How to Respond to Criticism.
Power_Lloyd+31
What new mystical camera was able to capture her commanding light and sonorous timbre.
I am of the “Malloy Ortberg once greeted me and spoke with me (briefly), so I have that going for me” demeanor and purpose.
figwiggin+25
Continuing dulcet tones. This is the exact opposite of what I sound like when I read my work aloud.
figwiggin+48
Also, watching Roxane Gay laugh in the background makes my heart sing.
ctrlaultdelete+34
Isn’t this missing the “Roxane Gay is in the background of this video” tag?
canadienne+36
GOOD GRIEF WOMAN PLEASE COME TO WHERE I LIVE AND READ ME THE PHONE BOOK OVER AND OVER I PROMISE I’LL MAKE YOU [DIABETIC BAKED GOOD OF CHOICE AND/OR CHEESE] UNTIL YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY CONSUME ANOTHER MORSEL AND THEN WE CAN READ THE PHONE BOOK SOME MORE AND ALSO MAYBE AN EXCERPT OF MISANDRIST LULLABIES FOR GOOD MEASURE.
lassotabasco+21
Your voiceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I cannot handle it. Marry me.
highjump+11
Only after Mallory marries meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
mmejoy+72
Campaign to Have Mallory Ortberg Do Audiobook Versions of my Favorite Novels 2014.
(My husband, who cannot help that he is a man, and I watched Male Novelist Jokes twice last night. Pure delight.)
GreenGrasses+62
My husband, who cannot help that he is a man…
Thank you for this new phrase, which I will be using when introducing my partner from now on.
ladyknight27+12
OH SWEET LORD. I am contemplating the relative worth of keeping my job vs. watching this immediately and curling up into the warm nest of Mallory’s voice.
anninyn+38
Early on in the video, your hair blows around your face and your skirt ripples in the breeze and for a second you look like you’re starring inthe climactic point of a romantic film.
It’s at the exact point you make eye-contact with someone (me) and both our worlds change for ever.
DeLoreanGrey+92
Oh my god can you please start a toastcast called This Amallorican Life. I would listen to it 5ever.
highjump+10
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Also, your username is awesome.
Currer_Belle+62
I’d like to submit for consideration that if you start and stop the video at the right time, you can pretend that Mallory Ortberg and her voice are telling you that “You are brave, and you look so beautiful.”
If you wish to receive this gift, please begin at 3:23.
Kay+10
You are the best and that is my new blah-day-picker-upper.
Unreadaethel+10
Oh god, now I’m going to get trapped in an endless moment of watching, over and over again, Mallory telling me that I’m brave, and beautiful, and I shall slowly waste away and die as I forget the world around me, so enraptured am I by the imagined praise of this glorious creature.
This is the greatest. Again. May it continue forever.
practical cat+4
Never stop. Please read your writing to the world forever and ever, thanks.
BobOfSeals+3
I feel mostly good about being the person who watched the suggested “Man in the Mirror” from Joyful Noise after this video.
Also when Roxane Gay smiles my heart smiles.
And I know its been said but Mallory your voiceeee I want to hear you read everything you’ve written.
Unreadaethel+8
[comment redacted on account of alcohol]
thekatriarch+5
Mallory. MALLORY.
You are wonderful.
farrisonhord+2
As a beautiful, sweaty woman myself, I find these to be quite true and should be applied in real life.
MameDC+3
This time YouTube gives me a video of a kid with a scrunched-up screaming face and the caption: KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING JEALOUS BARREL. The video (which I of course had to watch) is in French, and the child is screaming, “Je vais (?) le bon bon!”
Just the titles alone have me laughing helplessly.
The faint ongoing noise of the crying baby seems like appropriate background music for How to Respond to Criticism.
What new mystical camera was able to capture her commanding light and sonorous timbre.
I am of the “Malloy Ortberg once greeted me and spoke with me (briefly), so I have that going for me” demeanor and purpose.
Continuing dulcet tones. This is the exact opposite of what I sound like when I read my work aloud.
Also, watching Roxane Gay laugh in the background makes my heart sing.
Isn’t this missing the “Roxane Gay is in the background of this video” tag?
GOOD GRIEF WOMAN PLEASE COME TO WHERE I LIVE AND READ ME THE PHONE BOOK OVER AND OVER I PROMISE I’LL MAKE YOU [DIABETIC BAKED GOOD OF CHOICE AND/OR CHEESE] UNTIL YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY CONSUME ANOTHER MORSEL AND THEN WE CAN READ THE PHONE BOOK SOME MORE AND ALSO MAYBE AN EXCERPT OF MISANDRIST LULLABIES FOR GOOD MEASURE.
Your voiceeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. I cannot handle it. Marry me.
Only after Mallory marries meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
Campaign to Have Mallory Ortberg Do Audiobook Versions of my Favorite Novels 2014.
(My husband, who cannot help that he is a man, and I watched Male Novelist Jokes twice last night. Pure delight.)
My husband, who cannot help that he is a man…
Thank you for this new phrase, which I will be using when introducing my partner from now on.
OH SWEET LORD. I am contemplating the relative worth of keeping my job vs. watching this immediately and curling up into the warm nest of Mallory’s voice.
Early on in the video, your hair blows around your face and your skirt ripples in the breeze and for a second you look like you’re starring inthe climactic point of a romantic film.
It’s at the exact point you make eye-contact with someone (me) and both our worlds change for ever.
Oh my god can you please start a toastcast called This Amallorican Life. I would listen to it 5ever.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Also, your username is awesome.
I’d like to submit for consideration that if you start and stop the video at the right time, you can pretend that Mallory Ortberg and her voice are telling you that “You are brave, and you look so beautiful.”
If you wish to receive this gift, please begin at 3:23.
You are the best and that is my new blah-day-picker-upper.
Oh god, now I’m going to get trapped in an endless moment of watching, over and over again, Mallory telling me that I’m brave, and beautiful, and I shall slowly waste away and die as I forget the world around me, so enraptured am I by the imagined praise of this glorious creature.
Please please please, let the next one of these be A Day in the Life of a Troubled Male Antihero.
Okay, that one, and then the next one has to be Stardate: Fuck This Shit.
This is the greatest. Again. May it continue forever.
Never stop. Please read your writing to the world forever and ever, thanks.
I feel mostly good about being the person who watched the suggested “Man in the Mirror” from Joyful Noise after this video.
Also when Roxane Gay smiles my heart smiles.
And I know its been said but Mallory your voiceeee I want to hear you read everything you’ve written.
[comment redacted on account of alcohol]
Mallory. MALLORY.
You are wonderful.
As a beautiful, sweaty woman myself, I find these to be quite true and should be applied in real life.
This time YouTube gives me a video of a kid with a scrunched-up screaming face and the caption: KILL YOURSELF YOU FUCKING JEALOUS BARREL. The video (which I of course had to watch) is in French, and the child is screaming, “Je vais (?) le bon bon!”
Seems valid. I don’t know about the barrel part.
Probably “je veux le bon bon”?
Ha, yes. Je ne parl pas le francais. Or spell it.
OH, that condom advert?