Hello, chums! I don’t often make corrections, but some lovely friends of the Toast have pointed out that SAD is several orders of magnitude more serious than this comes across, and I am sorry to have been insensitive and thoughtless about that. We can all hate winter without making anyone feel worse for experiencing depression. Okay, back to jokes. 

You don’t like when it gets dark out at three in the afternoon.

You like it better when it’s summer, and not winter.

Being very cold, that’s not your favorite thing.

You enjoy sunshine.

Sometimes, you don’t feel very happy.

It’s comfortable to spend a lot of time in bed, wearing pajamas, and you would rather do that than go outside when it’s very cold and meet all of your responsibilities.

You like sitting on the porch watching the sun set, drinking wine and talking with friends while wearing a short-sleeved shirt, and it’s very difficult to do that when there’s five feet of snow outside your house.

You don’t like thinking about death very much.

Like most mammals, you enjoy and seek out warmth.

When trees have leaves on them, you like that.

If you had to live in a cave, or under the dirt, or something, forever in the darkness, you wouldn’t like that.

You’d rather be asleep in your warm, cozy bed than ride a train car through the dark on your way home after a long day of working in a building flooded with artificial fluorescent lights.

It’s nice to be warm, and no fun at all to be cold.