Joss Whedon: Inventer Of Feminism Or Literal Hitler?

• Joss Whedon invented feminism. Before Joss Whedon, every female character on television was crushed to death under the weight of her male co-stars’ heavier paychecks in the second-season finale.
• Every female character Joss Whedon ever wrote was forcibly impregnated by a demon and brutally murdered, because Joss Whedon hates lesbians.
• But Warren And The Trio Were –
• EVERYONE GETS THAT WARREN AND THE TRIO REPRESENTED THE THREAT OF NON-SUPERNATURAL MISOGYNY, YOU DON’T GET CREDIT FOR PICKING UP ON THAT

Joss Whedon Doesn’t Understand What Bisexuality Is 

• Willow Identifies As Gay And You Are Robbing Her Of Self-Determination Because She Doesn’t Have A “Gold Star”
• I’d Feel More Comfortable With Willow’s Lesbianism If It Weren’t Sometimes Equated With Drug Addiction, Literal Vampirism, And Megalomania
• But She Was Clearly In Love With Oz
• Who Are You To Say What Love Is
• Dark Willow Was Pretty Hot, Though
• Yeah, Dark Willow Was Super Hot
• I’d Watch Dark Willow And Doppelgangland-Era Willow Hook Up If It Weren’t A Patriarchal Fantasy

Spuffy Is Problematic

• Bangel Is A Child’s Delusion Of What Love Is
• Spuffy Is Literally Assault
• Okay But He Felt Really Bad About It And Didn’t Have A Soul

Waif-Fu And Thermodynamics: You Can’t Violate The Law Of Conservation Of Momentum 

Season Six Felt Like Watching My Friends Get Murdered In Slow Motion Right In Front Of Me

• It Was Worth It For Once More, With Feeling, Though
• No, It Wasn’t
• Doublemeat Palace Cancels Out Once More, With Feeling
• Doublemeat Palace Cancels Out My Childhood

Xander Is The Only Character Who Retains Their Humanity On The Entire Show

• Xander Is A Greater Monster Than Angelus And Invented “Nice Guy” Syndrome

 Cabin in the Woods Was Okay, Though

• Yeah, Cabin in the Woods Was Okay

Buffy Started To Falter After Angel Premiered

• No, Buffy Started To Falter After Firefly Premiered
• No, Buffy Has Never Faltered And Is Still On The Air
• Buffy Started To Falter When Angel/Faith/Buffy Came Back
• Buffy Was Better When It Was A Movie With Kristy Swanson

What If Evil?

• Dark Willow Straight-Up Flayed a Dude!
• Extremism In the Pursuit of Love Is No Vice
• If a Dude Had Flayed Willow, Would We Be Cheering?

Everyone Was Too Hard On Dawn For Being A Regular Human Being

• Don’t You Dare Try To Retroactively Justify Dawn

Oz vs. Tara

• Oz Was Boring; Tara Was Too Good For This Sinful Earth
• Tara Was Boring; Oz Was The Greatest Love Interest In Television History; Remember That Animal Crackers Monologue
• What About Kenned–
• SHUT UP ABOUT KENNEDY

Jenny Calendar And Race-Bending 

Is It Important That Buffy Is Decidedly Not Book Smart?

• Not Everyone Is Book Smart, That Is Elitist
• Buffy is the Lady Channing Tatum of being Body Smart and That Is Sufficient
• It Is a Tremendous Problem and Girls Should Not Watch This Show Or They Will Not Take College Seriously

I Shouldn’t Have To Watch Angel In Order To Appreciate Cordelia’s Growth As A Character

Shaming: Everyone Is Shamed

• “Beer Bad” Is Slut-Shaming
• “Beer Bad” Is Substance-Shaming and Preachy
• “Beer Bad” Is Just a Terrible Episode
• Angel Losing His Soul After He Has Sex With Buffy is Slut-Shaming
• THE EPISODE WHERE WILLOW ATTENDS THE WICCAN MEETING IS WICCAN-SHAMING WICCANS ARE REAL WE ARE NOT YOUR PUNCHLINE

KENDRA’S ACCENT THOUGH 

• Was It Irish Sometimes, Or Was That Just Me?
• Her Accent is Perfect, and Not To Be Questioned

Activating All Potential Slayers Was An Act Of Patriarchal Violence

• Slaying Is Empowering
• No, Slayers Were Literally Created When A Woman Of Color Was Forcibly Invaded By A Demonic Essence
• Oh, Right
• But Then They Get To Beat Up Everybody
• Dark Willow Straight-Up Flayed a Dude