Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but that’s just your hair falling across your eyes!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you were just listening without paying attention!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you’re just very confident in your belief that you should be listened to!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you’re just unhappy!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you were just wearing headphones!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you were just standing next to someone worse!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you’re just highly critical!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you just smile more with one side of your mouth than you do with the other!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you just have access to people and places that I never have!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you were just standing against a sunset!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but I was just hungry!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you just have mesmerizingly attractive forearms!
Oh, no! I thought you were interesting but you’re just good at layering button-down shirts!
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.