Things You Will Never Read In A Book Review -The Toast

The book provoked one, maybe two thoughts.
The author’s critique of modern technology is, in a word, flinching.
This story of love, loss and struggle absolutely gives in to categorization.
This book was neither a page-turner nor sluggish. I read it at a regular pace.
My tears stayed firmly in place, no jerking whatsoever thank goodness.
A sunny reimagining of a classic tale.
A tamely imaginative debut work.
This story grabs you by the collar and then promptly lets go and apologizes for the outburst.
I easily and often put the book down.
This novel is an untangled web that quickly unravels and stays that way
This book has a difficult time tying its three disparate narratives together, and that’s just fine
A colorless work.
367 breathful pages
This book doesn’t allow me to extrapolate anything about the author.
Gonna be honest, I didn’t read the book.

Jaya Saxena is a New Yorker who writes for lots of things. The Toast, Uncommon Courtesy, and New Amsterdam Mystery Company are some of them. Follow her on Twitter @jayasax. Matt Lubchansky makes comics and occasionally leaves his apartment in New York. His work includes Please Listen to Me and New Amsterdam Mystery Company. He's on Twitter, and doesn't expect you to get his name right.

Things You Will Never Read In A Book Review