46. Christians are to be taught that unless they have more than they need, they are bound to keep back what is necessary for their own families, and by no means to squander it on pardons.
“SORRY THERE’S NO BREAD FOR BREAD-BONE SOUP TONIGHT, SIMONLINGTON, I HAD TO BUY SOME HEAVEN-BUCKS TO KEEP GOD FROM GETTING MAD AT US”
47. Christians are to be taught that the buying of pardons is a matter of free will, and not of commandment.
WELL WHO IS GONNA TEACH THEM MARTY, NOT EVERYBODY CAN COME LOOK AT THIS DOOR
48. Christians are to be taught that the pope, in granting pardons, needs, and therefore desires, their devout prayer for him more than the money they bring.
LOTTA PASSIVE VOICE MAKIN ME NERVOUS YOU EXPECT ME TO DO THIS FOR YOU
49. Christians are to be taught that the pope’s pardons are useful, if they do not put their trust in them; but altogether harmful, if through them they lose their fear of God.
THIS IS LIKE TAKING YOUR KIDS TO MCDONALD’S AND ONLY LETTING THEM GET MILK I FEEL LIKE??
50. Christians are to be taught that if the pope knew the exactions of the pardon-preachers, he would rather that St. Peter’s church should go to ashes, than that it should be built up with the skin, flesh and bones of his sheep.
WILL SOMEONE KINDLY DRAW ME A PICTURE OF A CHURCH MADE OF SHEEP BONES AND SKULLS? “THE METAL POPE”
51. Christians are to be taught that it would be the pope’s wish, as it is his duty, to give of his own money to very many of those from whom certain hawkers of pardons cajole money, even though the church of St. Peter might have to be sold.
I KNOW THE POPE WOULD AGREE WITH ME IF HE REALIZED WHAT THINGS ARE LIKE OUT HERE, HONESTLY HE WOULD BE WILLING TO SELL ROME IF HE HAD TO
52. The assurance of salvation by letters of pardon is vain, even though the commissary, nay, even though the pope himself, were to stake his soul upon it.
MAKING A LOT OF PROMISES ON THE POPE’S BEHALF RIGHT NOW, MY GUY?? LIKE MAYBE CHECK WITH HIM FIRST, IDK
53. They are enemies of Christ and of the pope, who bid the Word of God be altogether silent in some Churches, in order that pardons may be preached in others.
COZYING UP TO THE POPE NOW, GOOD MOVE AFTER ALL THAT “ME AND THE POPE ARE SUPER CLOSE AND I KNOW WHAT HE WOULD SAY IF HE WERE HERE SO THIS IS TOTALLY COOL FOR ME TO SAY”
54. Injury is done the Word of God when, in the same sermon, an equal or a longer time is spent on pardons than on this Word.
“YOU GUYS ARE HITTING THE BIBLE, SO”
55. It must be the intention of the pope that if pardons, which are a very small thing, are celebrated with one bell, with single processions and ceremonies, then the Gospel, which is the very greatest thing, should be preached with a hundred bells, a hundred processions, a hundred ceremonies.
I don’t want any of you to make a more cowbell joke
56. The “treasures of the Church,” out of which the pope grants indulgences, are not sufficiently named or known among the people of Christ.
I WILL FIND THEM
57. That they are not temporal treasures is certainly evident, for many of the vendors do not pour out such treasures so easily, but only gather them.
DON’T QUITE UNDERSTAND THIS ONE BUT IT HAS THE CADENCE OF A BURN
58. Nor are they the merits of Christ and the Saints, for even without the pope, these always work grace for the inner man, and the cross, death, and hell for the outward man.
OK THIS IS SARCASTIC, I GET THAT MUCH AT LEAST
59. St. Lawrence said that the treasures of the Church were the Church’s poor, but he spoke according to the usage of the word in his own time.
DID THE EXPRESSION “POOR PEOPLE” REALLY CHANGE MEANING IN 1300 YEARS THOUGH?
60. Without rashness we say that the keys of the Church, given by Christ’s merit, are that treasure.
“Don’t worry, whenever anyone was talking about poor people w/r/t Jesus Christ, it was a metaphor” WHERE HAVE I HEARD THIS BEFORE
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.