Dad Magazine: August 2013

by Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky · August 8, 2013

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Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky

Jaya Saxena and Matt Lubchansky

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92 Comments

  1. EPWordsnatcher +29

    It’s Still Good! Five New Leftover Identification Strategies That Will Have You Eating Lunch In No Time

    1. NicoleCliffe +19

      Make sure you’re maxing out that 401(k) first! You don’t want to leave money on the table!

      1. telephonoscope +18

        And further, Have You Purchased This Year’s Edition of TurboTax Yet?: I May Have A Discount Code You Can Use

          1. telephonoscope +3

            I don’t… think so? But it’s nice there are so many dads who just want us to make Smart Choices.

  4. TLO +36

    “Hmmmm, Doesn’t Look Familiar!”: Strategies for Accidentally Purchasing Multiple Copies of the Same Book or Record

  6. anninyn +44

    ‘My Rebellious Youth – But Don’t YOU Dare: How To Tell Your Children To Learn From Your Mistakes’
    ‘When I Said I Wanted You To Question Authority I Didn’t Mean Me: One Dad’s Trauma

    1. karenbowness +9

      this reminds me of Jenny Holzer, Mom (@JennyHolzerMom at twitter)

      A POSITIVE ATTITUDE IS NOT FOR EVERYONE BUT HOW CAN WE EVEN KNOW IF IT FITS OR NOT IF YOU’RE NOT GOING TO TRY IT ON?

      1. amativus +10

        Jenny Holzer, Mom is the single best justification for the existence of Twitter. (Florida Man is #2.)

        KNEE-JERK HAPHAZARD DISOBEDIENCE ONLY SERVES TO STRENGTHEN THE RESOLVE OF THOSE WHO WISH TO OPPRESS YOU, NOW GET IN THE CAR

        SEXUALITY IS A WEAPON YOU CAN DEPLOY IN YOUR TWENTIES

        PRIORITIZING YOUR OWN SURVIVAL IS A PROPER CONCERN BUT YOU WILL NOT ACTUALLY DIE IF YOUR FRIENDS SEE YOU AT THE MALL WITH YOUR MOTHER

  7. fleurdelivre87 +12

    I went to the Field of Dreams movie site last summer. I laid down behind the bleachers and pretended to be choking on a hotdog. No Dads were harmed in the process.

    P.S.- This newest issue of Dad Magazine will most likely be the highlight of my day.

    2. meetapossum +7

      Hey, when I went to college, that WAS the best gift. When I moved to New York, he bought me a whole toolkit.

      1. EPWordsnatcher +7

        Dad-gifted toolkits are the best. Mine was assembled out of his old stuff and it’s great. I use it constantly. <3 u, Dad.

        1. eviesky +3

          They are they best. My dad carefully selected tools to give me to go to college (… in a major metropoltain city… where we couldn’t put nails in the wall). It was very sweet but the only thing that got used in four years was the tape measure which I lent out to engineering students.

  9. tragicallyludicrous +15

    I am completely reasonably (I was going to say ‘unreasonably’ but c’mon now) delighted by there being a new issue of Dad Magazine out.

    1. anninyn +5

      The only real question is: Would sending these to MY dad be affectionate teasing or a little bit mean?

      1. tragicallyludicrous +4

        The only problem with that is that my dad has a lot of non-“dad” tendencies (a magazine for My Dad would focus on clothes shopping and hiring people to fix things along with the detailed stories about the weather common to Dads) so I’m not sure he’d really get it.

        1. anninyn +4

          While he has a lot of ‘Dad’ tendencies he has more ‘dad’ specifics such as an addiction to tech (he was one of the first internet pioneers) a love of creating synth music and a tendency to be really and truly OVERLY emotionally honest.

          I’m not sure he’d really *understand*

      2. emily_white +9

        I showed original Dad Magazine to my dad & it was 100% well received. Maybe the best laugh he had all month. Then he sent it to his best friend (also a dad), who didn’t understand. So I’m going to make my dad proud and tell you we need more research to be sure!

        1. dokuchan23 +24

          I also sent it to my dad, he was confused that he couldn’t click through to full articles. Issue #1 was pertinent to his interests!

      3. ehmgeebee +7

        I showed the first issue to my dad, and pointed him toward the comments. He loved it all and shared it with his other dad friends. I think we’re in safe, gently-teasing waters with this fine publication.

        1. anninyn +9

          I’ve emailed it to him. Like everything else I email him he will never acknowledge his receipt of it but will likely read it.

  10. Interrobanged +8

    How Learning to Debone a Salmon Will Lead to a Better Life
    10 Easy Steps to Prepare Your Dog’s Favourite Dinner

  11. anowlindaylight +38

    Recently my parents got Netflix Instant and my dad called me to lodge his complaint that Field of Dreams is not available on it.

  12. icebergmama +26

    Rhyming Insults for Popular Names of Your Child’s Generation – Never be without an embarrassing rhyme for your daughter’s boyfriend (or girlfriend!) when you answer the phone and have to tell your daughter who it is!

  14. SarcasticFringehead +30

    You Can’t Throw That Away Just Because There’s Not a Whole Bowl Left: Which of Your Kids’ Leftover Cereals Taste Great Together

  15. stuffisthings +22

    I’m cultivating a deep Civil War-like amateur history interest in 19th and 20th century of left-wing revolutionary movements so that I’ll be ready to bore my children with it once I become a father. (“No no no, Comintern was the THIRD international! You kids today just know nothing about history do you?”)

    I hope I can find some other dads to start a Red Army Faction reenactment group with me once I hit my late forties (undecided on whether we’ll include moms to play Ulrike and Gudrun or just wear wigs).

  16. meetapossum +30

    “You Like Books. Here’s Eat, Pray, Love!“: How to Give Thoughtful Gifts that Still Aren’t Quite Right

    1. Firoola +3

      The year that my mom decided to finally let her hair go grey after much contemplation, my dad bought her really really fancy shampoo and conditioner for Christmas, as a kind of show of support or something. It was very sweet and unusually thoughtful for him. However, she had been hinting for a trip to New York for about 6 months, and her face just fell when she unwrapped it. We laugh now but oof it was uncomfortable at the time haha

  17. meanchelled +19

    My dad visited me this weekend, bought me a can of WD-40, and proceeded to use it on everything in my building. DAD, YOU’RE THE BEST!

  18. JennCulp +8

    Handguns for the Whole Family: Which Models are Best for Your Daughter’s Dainty Grip

    1. JennCulp +8

      (My dad gifted me with a shotgun one Christmas because I am freaked out by pistols and I mentioned to him that the riot gun was my favorite weapon in Resident Evil 4. He is personally actually far more interested in antique rifles than handguns.)

  19. Abanthis +10

    Read that as “Ten Things You Already Knew” and oh boy, that’s still appropriate.

  20. elldubs +19

    Appropriate times to get into political fights with your kid’s friends on Facebook. (Hint: it’s most times!)

    Book review: Map of inexplicable travel routes. Four stars!

    How to operate the Netflex from your iPod.

  21. icebergmama +6

    It’s Fine: How to fix broken-stemmed crystal wineglasses with solder and a bit of copper sheet.

    1. elldubs +19

      Alternately: how to SAY you’re going to fix the crystal glasses but eventually lose them in the garage somewhere. Sidebar discussion of whether its an abject betrayal when said glasses are finally replaced.

      ETA: pull quote is “I was going to fix those this week! What do we need with 8 whole wine glasses?!”

    1. the little c +8

      YES YES YES

      My dad’s a doctor, and he washes his hands so often that they get really dry and cracked. He has a bottle of Liquid Bandaid in almost every room of the house. His being a doctor is also relevant to his gifting habits. Instead of giving everyone a toolbox (though he did to that once, to my live-in boyfriend at the time – I think he was worried that the boyfriend was not sufficiently masculine enough to fix shit around the apartment on his own), he gives them first aid kits that he has put together himself. I still have mine with some of the original supplies from when he gave it to me six years ago. But expired sunscreen and ancient moldy cough drops aren’t actually that useful.

      1. meetapossum +1

        That’s the one thing my parents were never on top of. I always had toolkits and sewing kits given to me, but never a first aid kit!

    2. laureleye +2

      my dad is never far from his bottle of new-skin! it makes a lot of sense for him though, he has psoriasis on his hands, especially around his knuckles, and covering your knuckles in bandaids is no good.

      1. meetapossum +1

        Yeah, my dad works a lot with his hands, and that’s where most of his injuries are. I think it just helps him not to have to have to worry about band-aids coming off from motion or water or whatever.

  24. missellabell +46

    There’s This New Programme Your Mother And I Have Found: A Guide To The Best Shows Of Several Years Previously

    Maybe this is just my dad? Last week he tried to tell me about this “great little programme your mother found on the internet, it’s called Downing Abbey.”

    1. John +5

      I’m a dad, and we do this to our kids all the time now they’re showing “Friends” reruns in HD. They hate it.

  25. br1gid +16

    Is That Carhartt?: The Items In Your Wardrobe Young Hipsters Envy

    10 New Times to Send Memos to Your Children As Email Attachments

    1. stuffisthings +2

      I may or may not have worn my dad’s vintage Adidas and FIAT T-shirt until they fell apart (which was not that long since they were 40 years old).

      I also may or may not still have all of his non-Jerry Garcia ties.

  27. lyetteann +18

    NCIS or NCIS: Los Angeles: Which is The Best?
    COIN COLLECTING: Anyone with pockets can do it.

  28. elldubs +10

    “The sad death of the Ethernet cable: why you really do need to get wireless before your kids come for the weekend.

    2. Splash +2

      My parents finally upgraded from dial-up (yes, dial-up) to a 4G internet stick when my dad’s work computer turned out not to like dial-up and then my mom bought a laptop that also didn’t like dial-up.

      When I came home and we all realized that I use the internet much more heavily than they do and would have run through their entire data allowance, I stuck it out at the library for a few months and then we agreed that I would pick out my own internet-creating device and pay the monthly charges, and they would get me the device itself for Christmas.

      The dial-up account is now permanently canceled, I am happy to report.

  30. clairezulkey +4

    That’s pretty good although for my dad the entire content in the article “Hot Enough For Ya?” would be “No.”

  31. Yet To Register +18

    Refresher Course: How to Assemble Perfect Change in the Palm of your Hand Before Even Getting in Line.

    The Best Guffaws at Skymall Products

    Shoe and Leather Conditioner Reviews: This Mink Oil Ain’t Gonna Smear Itself, You Know

  32. deerweed +8

    Oh, how I miss my dad, who would have contributed the articles Fertilize with Fish Emulsion for Better Tomatoes and Liver is Delicious, Just Try It.

    1. bgprincipessa +7

      For their first ever meal in their new life as a married couple, my grandmother made my grandfather liver. He refused to eat it and she cried all night.

      1. deerweed +1

        Oh, I hope she recovered from that!
        My mom never made liver for my dad: if he wanted to eat it, he had to cook it himself.
        He was totally right about the fish emulsion, btw.

  33. John +10

    “Your Grandmother Smoked 40 a Day, Lived to a Hundred: What Do These ‘Doctors’ Know Anyway?”

  34. fannypack +5

    Is this Dad Magazine or White Dad Magazine? This is a serious question/suggestion.

    1. NicoleCliffe +22

      Jaya’s Dad isn’t white, Matt’s is. The Dad of Dad Magazine? He can be found wherever people own toolboxes. He’s a generational Dad, I think, though.

      Dad Magazine: August 1956: “Stiff drinks you can teach your children to prepare.”

        1. stuffisthings +4

          I’m not going to check but I’m pretty sure the first YouTube result for “dad making a sandwich” is Bill Cosby.

          ETA: IIRC that episode is supposed to be a warning about the dangers of heart disease but MAN do I want to eat that sandwich.

      2. telephonoscope +6

        Rock ‘n Roll: Just As Dangerous As You Suspect It Is
        “Hey! That New Station Wagon Is Pretty Nifty!” And Other Ways to Keep Up With the Jones’s
        10 New Nuclear Bomb Safety Tips to Teach the Kids

    2. brenda

      @malloryellis Or wherever bones need to be checked for meat (or squeamish children need to be reminded that that marrow/intestine/fried skin with hair on it is a delicacy).

    3. stuffisthings +2

      This comment made me think: we have lots of ethnic mom stereotypes, where are the ethnic dad stereotypes!?

      1. NicoleCliffe +14

        Greek dads love Windex. Italian dads drive Meadow to college. Black dads have really colourful sweaters.

        FACT.

        1. anowlindaylight +4

          Hippie dads use Take Your Daughter to Work Day to sync up Dark Side of the Moon with Wizard of Oz.

  35. highfivesforall +6

    Which Roads to Pull Over On for the Best Rocks and Fallen Logs

    Guess How Fast I Did the Crossword Today – A Text Message to My Daughter

    How to Spend 30 Minutes Answering A Yes-Or-No Question About WWII

    (amalgamating several dads I know here)

    1. LeastBittern +3

      Making your children swear a blood oath before showing them the good rock place: a primer.

  36. MrsHuntingCreek +3

    Canadian Dad, (at least my Canadian dad)
    You call this mustard? 20 condiments and how to use them

  37. Rayne of Terror +3

    Get Your Head Out of Your Ass by 40
    No One Was Counting, But Your Friend Has a Drinking Problem

  39. zoeroller +1

    Spartacus, Braveheart, and The Ten Commandments: Movies so good you’ll watch them again and again…and again

  40. elsajeni +3

    “For The Nine Hundredth Time, The Car’s Running Great”: New Questions To Ask Your Daughter Before Handing The Phone To Your Wife