My dad hit Peak Dad this week. Would you like to see the wedding present he got us?
GruntledDave+12
Yes. As a fellow Dad I’m always looking for tips!
houblonchouffe+128
1. our wedding is in September 2. we have had a week of 40-50 degrees and sun 3. this is probably the best present in the world
jhsaxena+108
Hi we need to hire your dad for the magazine
houblonchouffe+36
He would be excellent at discussing seasonally appropriate footwear (Rain Boots Or Topsiders Without Socks? It’s May), any of several varieties of cooking for a crowd, exposes of the local bait shop, etc.
deleted182847+9
Do you get blower-level snow where you live though?
houblonchouffe+18
Northwest lower Michigan. Yeah, we really do. This year we only got about ten feet, last year we got 22.
deleted182847+44
Then Dad is just On Top Of It.
bird_internet+74
Last week my mom texted me a picture of my dad running the snow blower while wearing shorts. I think a snow blower is required in order to have a true Peak Dad moment.
Littlebittykittyone+8
I don’t know. I grew up in the southern half of the country and had honestly never seen a snow blower until I happened to pass by a Home Depot in New Jersey while traveling for work stuff a few years ago. Which is to say that there is an entire contingent of dad’s in this country who don’t have or use snow blowers. Maybe it’s a peak northern dad thing?
perianwen+24
I think probably in lower latitudes the same effect is reached with the lawn mower.
ladonnapietra+14
A riding mower, ideally.
notdarkyet_+8
Peak summer dad is the push mower my dad converted by welding a wheeled platform to the back, so he can ride it like a segway.
Mrs_Peel+6
Maybe the southern equivalent is the dehumidifier?
Apollonia+18
Trust me, as an Aussie, there are whole continents of dads who have no idea what snowblowers even are. Peak dad here would be a huge BBQ with a wok burner.
leahrobinn+10
Went to my parents for self-imposed brunch the other day. My dad was cooking fritters (like, savoury pancakes? relic of my childhood) on aluminium foil, on the bbq, oil bottle in hand, without any luck at all.
Halfway through, he made a discovery and shouted through the kitchen window to Mum, ‘It’s ok! We don’t need to use the alfoil! It works just fine on the grill plate!’ Then proceeded to talk our ears off about his over-55s cycling club for an hour and a half.
Normal dad day?
mbculver+18
…or your dad’s Peak Dad moment can be “Snow blower?!? You don’t need a snow blower, get out there and shovel! Builds character!”
GruntledDave+32
That is an excellent and practical wedding gift. Wedding presents that you use all the time > dumb china you never use
houblonchouffe+18
Was not even exaggerating that this is basically the best physical present I have ever gotten, ever.
(We are doing a Honeyfund for 99.9% of presents for exactly this reason.)
sorrycassandra+6
My mom and dad gave us snow tires as a wedding present. We live in northern Minnesota. It was seriously the best present ever and we thank them on about a weekly basis in the winter.
jtradke+47
Two-stage with a Tecumseh engine? Uffdah, she’s a real beaut!
houblonchouffe+41
It has six forward gears and two reverse gears, which is at least two more total gears than any car I have ever owned or driven. It is massive and gorgeous.
stirringsofconsciousness+13
This is beautiful. From eastern Massachusetts I salute your dad.
mbculver+3
Also from eastern Massachusetts and I’m getting a bit teary.
stephaniesylverne+8
That is the most Dad present ever, and also fantastic
aravisthequeen+81
My dad is not a big sax guy but is quite concerned about the demise of the “mighty Wurlitzer organ” in pop music and longs for its triumphant return. Please note that he doesn’t play a single instrument, he just appreciates a good use of organ in rock music.
clarebruff+18
YES! My dad played organ in a small-time rock band in Kansas in the 60s & 70s. I know all about the dadly love of organ in rock music.
honestlythor+33
Your dad was in Kansas?! I love “Carry On Wayward Son”.
notebook-keeper+10
Same for my dad, but French horn.
maldemal+26
My beloved partner has a Wurlitzer. We don’t agree on the subject “Wurlitzer – wonderful or awful?”.
deleted182847+5
FAR-FI-SA
ZevNV+17
Does your father have an opinion about the Hammond B3 Organ? Mine does!
deleted182847+5
I’m gonna go into a Leslie speaker trance.
evieskye+9
I was just about to post this. My dad wasn’t into Wurlitzers but man was he psyched about Hammonds.
hardlyknowem+3
I was *just* about to say the same thing!
DoubtfulGuest+19
Oh dear. My husband’s music features both B3 AND abundant saxophone solos. He is also exceedingly fond of bad puns. Do you think … he could secretly be a dad?
ZevNV+24
As has been mentioned elsewhere, Dadliness can transcend gender and child-having status. So…maybe? He certainly seems to have dadlike tendencies.
headfullofhoney+51
My dad also points out, at every opportunity, that “see, pop songs used to have ORGAN JAMS!” Another exciting chapter in his opus: Everything Used To Be Cool But Now It Isn’t.
honestlythor+35
I feel like the recent saxophone solo resurgence (Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night”, Lady Gaga’s “Edge of Glory”) might have slipped by Dad Magazine’s crack team somehow.
jhsaxena+67
Did you just “actually” Dad Magazine?
honestlythor+24
Not at all, I just think maybe Dad Magazine might be a little behind on that Lady GooGoo, or whatever her name is. Also, much ink was spilled about the supposed “saxophone solo Renaissance” at the time, and it turned out to be… two songs.
Now I feel like I was rude. Crap. :-/
osutein+38
I don’t think your average Dad Magazine-reading Dad listens to a lot of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. I think this is more addressing the disquieting lack of sax in Bruce Springsteen’s recent albums.
honestlythor+28
… I really want to go to a family party with dads at it, quietly whisper “Springsteen is overrated” into someone’s ear, and just watch the fur fly. I don’t actually think he’s overrated, but if you can’t troll your family…?
Update: Listening to Springsteen at work. Day improved.
paddlepickle+95
I once had to meet my Dad at a Bruce Springsteen concert. It was like one of those Where’s Waldos where all the people look pretty much exactly like Waldo, except a sea of Dads instead of Waldos.
headfullofhoney+8
What a perfect thing.
paddlepickle+13
It really was. It filled me with deep affection not just for my Dad, but for balding middle-aged men from New Jersey as a category, which was not an affection I had previously noticed I had. And then I got to see Bruce Springsteen kick ass!
osutein+17
This may need to be Dad Magazine’s motto, echoing The Toast’s: “A willing foe, and a sea of dads.”
citizenchristy+18
This is not an “actually” but it is a Fun Fact®: my parents went to a Lady Gaga concert for my dad’s 57th birthday a few years ago. My dad also built his own arch for Christmas lights when the condo board wouldn’t allow him to attach the lights directly to the outside of their house, so he has plenty of charming dadlike quirks to balance out the knowledge of popular music.
evieskye+22
My dad bought Katy Perry’s first album- the Christian one when she was still Katy Hudson. He liked her, “This girl is sharp!”
rtkelleygardiner+15
Some dads enjoy discovering upbeat new music to accompany their slideshows!
MishMash+7
Dad Knowledge Link: Clarence Clemons was the saxophonist that played with Springsteen AND did the solo for Lady Gaga ‘Edge of Glory’ 🙂 This is also my first comment on the Toast after being a ridiculously long-time lurker… Hi! *waves nervously*
paddlepickle+130
Guys it took literally all of my moral strength to not make a youtube video of my Dad explaining Tinder based on a NYTimes article he read.
honestlythor+12
Can we at least get a summary?
paddlepickle+150
“So, it seems like the young people are dating using this app. . .where you look through pictures and you can just meet someone in a coffee shop right away! But they worry that maybe it makes you have too many options so you can’t pick just one person”.
My Dad’s entire worldview is based on things he reads in the NYTimes or hears on NPR, with extremely amusing results. One morning in high school I came downstairs and he looked at me earnestly and said “You kids aren’t doing these. . .meta-amphetamines, are you?”
honestlythor+77
I am so happy, in this moment. It’s probably the meta-amphetamines.
deleted182847+56
It’s gonna happen. I’ll be 40 later this year but I don’t have any children, but nonetheless….it’s gonna happen one day–NYT will be the first place I hear of something and I’ll end up asking my niece about it and she’ll tell me it happened last year. And I’ll know.
paddlepickle+33
I mean, I’m only 28 but already the teenagers I work with at my nonprofit have had to explain a LOT of slang to me. Did you know that instead of a slut now you call someone a “Thot”, which stands for “Those Hoes Out There”?? I mean I guess I at least heard it from them and not the NYTimes but it is clear we are all doomed.
honestlythor+54
The children tell me that “bae” stands for “before anyone else”. I thought it was just a short form of “babe” or “baby”. I am also 28 and can’t get out of a chair without making noise anymore…
I’m certain they’re both backronyms (I’d heard it was “that ho over there” for thot), but try explaining that to a 13-year-old girl. They look at you as if mealworms are pouring out of your nose.
grumblyqueer+37
The children are misinformed. What happened is that black teenagers took one of the B’s out of “babe” and people started copying them. It’s like people saying “FUCK” stands for “Fornication Under Consent of King:” it sounds neat but it’s too pat.
Smitty+16
As a youngster I was told the “F” word was “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.”
deleted182847+2
Don’t trust Michael Anthony.
LadyPoopjokes+8
I need to know, because I’ve only ever seen it in text: is “thot” pronounced like “thought”? Does this have anything to do with the etymology? How do kids these days handle all these clunky misleading homophones?
paddlepickle+10
Yes, it’s pronounced like Thought. And I have no idea why or how they deal with all of this. Also apparently “brick” can refer both to cold weather or a person with an ugly face. WHY?
LadyPoopjokes+28
Well, children are the future or whatever, I guess. I have so much to learn from our snot-nosed linguistic overlords.
TheRenleigh+3
I can’t believe there are actually people out there using brick for cold! Some friends and I found that on Urban Dictionary and started using it because we live somewhere cold, but I assumed we were basically the only people actually using it.
Goomaly+2
brick for an ugly face because it looks like the person got hit in the face with a brick?
merg+7
‘Thot’ rhymes with ‘pot’ for me, where ‘thought’ has the same ‘o’ vowel as ‘coffee’. If those aren’t different sounds for you, then yes, thot = thought!
houblonchouffe+6
*slow clap*
JocastaCarr+32
SEALANT!
mbculver+4
My dad used to give eloquent sermons on the myriad uses of sealant and its distant second cousin, WD-40.
tragicallyludicrous+61
My dad does not have Twitter (as far as I know). He does, however, have a Facebook, which he uses exclusively to post pictures he’s taken of jam bands. Also sometimes the dog, I guess.
bird_internet+36
My dad thought twitter was RIDICULOUS until I showed him the RealTimeWWII account. Now he’s very interested but still doesn’t understand how to get one.
phlippin+42
For years, my dad has been talking about getting a dog after retirement. To hold him over, I got him a little stuffed dog, which he promptly named Wilhelm. He tweets as Wilhelm (@WilhelmtheDog)–mostly just with photos he takes (he loves photography). Please follow him, because I can’t wait to hear his mystification at suddenly having an influx of misandrist librarian followers!
dakimel+2
DONE, because: delightful!
Mephyle+2
Wilhelm’s account is private – I submitted a request to follow – but I’m not a librarian. Will he let me in? (@maridesce)
EPWordsnatcher+4
My dad has neither Facebook nor Twitter–the closest he’s got is sending group texts or emails to me and my mom and my brothers. These always consist of (a) pictures of the dogs, (b) slo-mo videos of the dogs, or (c) both a and b.
tragicallyludicrous+2
My mom always says that when she meets up with people, they want to know if she has pictures of the kids. Well, no, but she’s got tons of pictures of the dog.
gorebooth+15
Every issue there’s something that makes me realize the daditude of my gender. This time, it’s sealant, for sure.
mandarinmarie+34
My father in law’s favorite move is to call all of our phones in a row if we don’t immediately pick up (my husband and I both work from home, so that’s two cell phones and two work landlines). It’s pretty fucking annoying, to the point where it often works because we’re so annoyed.
sagerenee+35
My husband is increasing in his “Dadness” Last week there was a kerfuffle because he had run out of weather sealant for his work boots, he had to use spray silicone instead and was perturbed to say the least.
westprocrasti+36
Dads on Twitter! My dad got a twitter account a few years ago, because he thought he’d tweet a Bible verse of the day, which would cross post to his blog. (He gave up after a couple of attempts to cut down verses to 140 characters.) But then he discovered that he could instead use Twitter for news headlines, product recalls, and sports. He’s in heaven.
(My husband doesn’t even use Twitter for headlines. He only uses Twitter to tweet at the Canadian Football League about bad calls, and at TSN when he misses a play because they were interviewing a mascot. Sometimes he also uses Twitter to get faster customer service.)
mattielubchansky+63
I mean this one is RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
westprocrasti+24
Just wait until your dad discovers that he can use Instagram to share pictures of home renovations. It seems to be the next step.
Smitty+8
Note to self: Post photos of new kitchen on Instagram! Why didn’t I think of that? 😉
msjinxie+13
“Slubchan” is one of the best twitter handles I’ve seen. Points to Pop Lubchansky.
citizenchristy+24
Real talk: your husband uses Twitter in a healthier way than 99% of Twitter users.
ZevNV+78
Can I talk about something that makes me really happy? When Dads edge towards retirement, and have the time to get more into the hobbies that have always interested them, and are just *so happy* about it. My dad has been doing a ton of digital and film photography (at which he’s fantastic, and from when he makes wall calendars that he sends me and some other relatives and friends), going to a bunch of classic car shows, and seeing more live jazz and folk music, and I am so damn happy for him.
ZevNV+55
Also: my husband’s parents have had way more trouble with him being gay than my parents have. (Mine have been basically perfect about it, from the beginning, his have not.) But one of the things that has helped to bring his parents around is becoming friends with my parents. Watching our Dads hang out and be Dads is THE BEST.
Smitty+12
That is excellent.
tragicallyludicrous+11
Awww, that’s lovely to hear! My dad will be retired as of April 1, and my mom is a bit worried about how he’ll adjust – he’s always been someone who’s worked a lot and really likes to be active. Hopefully he’ll devote himself to hobbies. (He’s already doing a lot of photography and going to jam-band concerts with my mom, so that’s a start.)
phlippin+8
My dad makes us calendars from his photography too! It’s an interest I share, so we go on photo walks together and trash talk each other’s pics. It’s fantastic.
Thujaplicata+4
I get a calendar every year at Christmas. It’s funny because I used to make calendars for my aunts and uncles as a kid (lots and lots of little kid drawings, one for each month).
deleted182847+4
Well, having studied Industrial Arts he’ll have a ready-made hobby!
1sic1+3
Tooool operators…
deleted182847+2
It’s the two-part harmony that really takes it over the top for me.
cleoreads+16
My dad was really cute about this when he retired. He checked out all the local clubs in all of his areas of interest – photography, woodworking, sailing, Bridge, etc. He rejected the photography club because it was too long of a drive – and I think he didn’t find the group as simpatico as the woodworking group.
I talked with him this weekend and asked him if he has a new project he’s excited about and he was so happy to tell me about re-organizing the sailing club’s teaching materials.
clairebm+8
oh yeah, my Dad is having the best time ever in retirement! He likes cooking, so a lot of his time has been spent expanding the veggie garden to a ridiculous size, and acquiring several chickens after setting up a very elaborate chicken coop. Bonus for me, home-grown veggies and lots of fresh eggs!
My mum has also just retired, and I was a bit concerned how Dad would cope (my Mum is a wonderful lady with an excessive amount of energy), but luckily Mum has been so busy with her own stuff she hasn’t given Dad too many projects yet! Plus the arrival of the grandchild in August should sufficiently occupy her!
Unreadaethel+5
That’s much better than turning into a concrete wall. Good job, fun retired Dads.
dancingcrowdesigns+7
Oh you guys – enjoy the hell out of them now, because they age out of the enjoyment way too fast (I know, I know, I sound like the parent of a teenager) but: my dad is 90 this year, and he’s pretty spry, and was pleased when we moved the machine shop into our garage for him to mess about (that was three tons of iron in various forms, including a milling machine and a metal lathe and three, count ’em THREE drill presses for various purposes) but he’s slowing down and what is worse his clever brain is going and reading your dad stories is making me all verklempt and wistful.
Laura+143
Peak Dad here at my house: My dad is outside with my sister right now, watching a new utility pole being erected. Binoculars are involved.
Kai_Ko+9
Okay, well, see, that’s just good humanity, right there.
GreenGrasses+6
Ugh that’s totally a Peak Dad moment. Adorable.
revengeofpompom+6
I literally just guffawed. That is the platonic ideal of Dadness!
the_lovecats+2
So did !. Literal LOL. Meaning barely audible chuckle to one’s self, right?
PunnyDreadful+17
Honestly, Sports Twitter is best twitter, that’s just good advice. It goes:
Does @BirdsRightsActivist fall under “Animal” or “Weird” twitter?
EPWordsnatcher+7
Yes
blushingflower+5
Excuse me, but Toastie Twitter is the best twitter.
allofthewhine+24
My husband has a twitter account for sports! It’s mostly used to see if other people agree with him re: a ref’s bad call.
ETA: He never posts, just searches.
katiemcgillicuddy+9
He is absolutely using it the way it was meant to be used.
thezlot+11
STICK-TO-IT-TIVENESS!!!!
Tony Pius+7
My bracket has “moxie” making a deep run as a 12-seed.
dakimel+6
Yeah, but what about when it comes face-to-face with “scheduled oil changes”? I mean, we’re all pulling for “moxie” but some juggernauts are unmovable.
dancingcrowdesigns+2
is this persistence or a glue stick-off?
sausagedog+37
My dad still doesn’t have a Twitter, probably because he doesn’t like sports. But he does have a Pinterest, because my mom got one. He is upset that his whole Pinterest feed is “suggested pins,” which is the case because he (a) refuses to follow anyone and (b) will not pin anything. I’m not sure what he wants to do with Pinterest.
salpiglossis
Um, maybe I'm your Dad? (Right age, wrong gender.) I do want someone to tell me why I have a Pinterest account.
LacaunaKale+30
My Dad briefly had a twitter. He used to talk about golf, and tweet abuse at Chuck Grassley.
bird_internet+15
Tweeting abuse at Chuck Grassley is the only good reason to have a twitter. The senator followed me back when I followed him so I’m holding out hope that he personally reads my mockery.
littlehuntingcreek+20
He Does! I made a poem out of a Chuck Grassley tweet for a poetry class and Chuck was very happy about it when I told him:
Chuck Grassley R-Iowa Oct 25
Fred and I hit a deer on hiway 136 south of Dyersville. After I pulled the fender rubbing on tire, we continued to farm. Assume deer dead.
I got an A in the class.
drladybusiness+9
“Assume deer dead” is one of the all-time Twitter classics. It will be in history books.
Also this: “Windsor Heights Dairy Queen is good place for u know what”.
U KNOW WHAT
LizSmith
As a youngster I was told the "F" word was "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge."
Frumiosa+47
One time my husband and I were doing yard work on a Sunday morning and didn’t pick up the phone or answer email for like four hours until our neighbors showed up at the door because my Dad had CALL ED THEM and asked them to check up on us because he was worried.
Yarnybarny+6
I just came across the most Dad or Dad-type shirt! http://teespring.com/too-late-for-tall-ships#pid=… Do you have a Dad? He probably needs this shirt.
sagerenee+6
Heck with my Dad. I want that shirt!
editorialeyes+24
My father-in-law had a peak-dad moment upon my in-laws’ return from vacation. According to MIL: “We didn’t send postcards – but did buy them Dad wants to scan them to add to our photo collection – then I’ll send them.”
thecaitd+34
TODAY IS MY DAD’S BIRTHDAY!
hey_lady+104
My dad doesn’t use email, but if I don’t answer his calls, even if I just miss one call, he leaves me voicemails like this [in a very thick Greek accent]: “are you okay? you don’t call; you don’t write. Don’t you love me anymore? This is your dad.”
houblonchouffe+11
I love this so much. It reminds me of my pappou.
hey_lady+67
What’s extra funny is that I see him almost every weekend, and he still leaves me these voicemails on a Tuesday or something. My favorite part is when he clarifies who he is. Like, how many old Greek men do I have calling me? I’m pretty sure I could guess that it was you, dad.
femaelstrom+27
I like that he waits until the end of the voicemail to tell you who it is! In case you thought this whole time that it was one of the OTHER old Greek men telling you he loves you.
ramina+13
Saxophone solos haven’t been the same since we lost the Big Man tho :'(
We’re visiting Williamsburg this week (the whole family! So excite!), and we went to Colonial Williamsburg on Monday. Dad got three maps, one for each relational unit (I’m the spinster, so I get my own map), and the lady at the desk had circled interesting sights in green. He made sure we went over what we wanted to see, whether we wanted to split up or not, and what our meeting times should be.
When I found him and Mom later, they were in the garden, discussing 18th-century gardening techniques with one of the re-enactors. They were both very excited about the cold frames. Dad was also very excited about the joinery, and found the smell of the wood shavings deeply satisfying.
He also got misty-eyed wandering around the graveyard of the (still active) 18th-c. church. Because my dad has a lot of feelings, and it’s adorable.
allofthewhine+4
Please go to the Cheese Shop and eat breadends with house dressing.
#tribepride
Unreadaethel+3
We went to the Cheese Shop for sandwiches and beer/cider, but we didn’t have bread ends. I did, however, stop back in today for some gjetost.
RuncibleSpoon+4
now i want to steal your dad for historic home visits!
Unreadaethel+7
We went back today, and discovered that not only is the brickyard ticket only, but it was only open on Monday, so he missed it. He was sad; he wanted to see them burning a huge pile of oyster shells. He just gave me a brief overview of the way the fire breaks down the chemical bonds so you can make lime. He’s pretty great to have around for historical tours and stuff.
RuncibleSpoon+2
my dad also enjoys discussing chemistry/life sciences/history at any all relevant points!
i need a new dad field trip 😀
leahrobinn+10
Oh this just reminded me of one of my dad’s favourite travel stories: they went to some reenactment village in Victoria or NSW (somewhere eastern, anyway) and he decided to ‘play along’ with the reenactors, because they worked so hard at their roles.
So when they asked him how he got there from so far away, he said ‘a big metal bird flew us through the sky’, and had a really long conversation with them where he tried to explain 21st-century things in 18th-century terms. He laughs the whole time he tells it, even while we all groan uncontrollably.
miprisci+30
Soon-to-be-Missus-Emby and I don’t plan to have kids, so it’s unlikely I’ll ever be a father to biological children, but I’ll be damned if I’m not heading straight for the center of the Dad Universe, anyway. It’s important to know things about sealant!
GreenGrasses+15
Dadliness transcends the mere fact of having kids or not. You will be glorious!
m98widow+116
I got a voicemail the other day that began “Hi Beth, this is Steve… your dad. Dad.”
elsamac+30
My father more than once greeted me on the phone with “Hello, Emily, it’s your father, Horace.” He was polite to a fault.
elsajeni+37
I have a friend whose dad leaves voicemails that begin “Hello, this is your father, [dad’s first name], ‘Dad’.” Like he is listing all his known aliases.
Fair_Amoret+14
Not technically Dad behavior, but my mom will not only say hello, tell me that it’s her calling, and leave me a voicemail, she will include the day and time.
Dane+4
I think this was a thing back when voicemail came on tapes though, like you couldnt be sure when it was recorded so it was polite to say so. my mom does this too.
leahrobinn+5
My mother always answered the phone with a recital of the phone number, just in case you weren’t paying attention when you dialed.
She got me into it for most of my childhood, and it was only when my first boyfriend called me and I answered and he asked if he could speak to me that I decided it might be ‘adult’ behaviour and stopped.
Household_Opera+6
My mom has once or twice concluded voicemails with “Love, Mom.” (I don’t think she’s ever used her first name, though.)
Unreadaethel+15
I get “hello, lovely daughter. This is your father.”
Mrs_Peel+1
D’awwww!
Unreadaethel+1
He’s pretty great.
EPWordsnatcher+4
My dad signs his texts. (“Love, Dad” or just “Dad”). I know he knows that I know who it is but he does it anyway and it is the best.
dancingcrowdesigns+7
My dad opens his calls with “Hi cynthy-bones, this is your old Uncle Fudd. this is your father.” and then proceeds with business.
hmbmelly
Same. Followed by what day and time he is calling. Just in case.
blunderbusst+112
Dads! I am so glad to see this here, because I love love love Dad Magazine, and also because MY DAD CAME OUT AS A TRANS LADY over the weekend and I have been so excited to talk to you guys about it!
If I have time, I was planning to post about it in the open thread tomorrow, but if anyone feels so moved to chat about it now, I’m here for the chats.
p.s. Sorry I haven’t been around very much the past few months: work is all 60-hour weeks and stupid people right now. But I love you guys and miss you guys and I hope everyone is thriving and being awesome and stuff!
DeliaC+32
Yay! (I feel I should yay this.) My Dad who is 70 came out to us and he is SO happy now. Yay for dads being brave and yay for family. My Dad has no idea what sealant is (he’s in Los Angeles) but he has thoughts on medical marijuana. So many thoughts.
blunderbusst+16
Agreed! There is a lot of “yay” happening right now (like, the biggest thing I feel like talking about is: is it weird to not feel all that weirded out about this revelation?). Dads are awesome.
GreenGrasses+19
That’s big! Congratulations to him!! I hope that he is deeply happy.
blunderbusst+51
Thank you! He is. SHE! She is. Pronouns are hard right now, but we’re all doing relatively well considering that Dad is 65 and has been living with the knowledge of who she really is and keeping it a secret from everyone since she was 22. I’m so proud of her, and it’s amazing to watch her blossom into, well, herself!
GreenGrasses+18
Ack yes you’re right I’m sorry! I hope she is deeply happy!! And I’m so glad she has you for support and love!
blunderbusst+58
No apologies necessary! Dad is very cool with the learning curve required, and has asked us to use the pronoun that goes with however s/he is presenting, and understands that can make both the past tense and the abstract sort of difficult. As s/he said to me the other night, “It doesn’t matter if you get it right. It matters if you try.”
Really pretty good life advice there.
allofthewhine+15
I feel like my heart just grew three sizes reading that. Congratulations to her!
Frumiosa+10
Are you still calling her Dad, or figuring out another name?
blunderbusst+19
So far, we’re all (Dad included) still very comfortable with calling her Dad (see my slightly more in-depth answer to @femaelstrom in this thread).
We all thought that switching to “Mom” might be weird (especially since our mom passed away a few years ago and we’re all still dealing with the grief of that). I briefly considered coming up with some new third thing that would celebrate her female-ness, but the answer Dad gave when we asked about it pretty much made me stop thinking about it.
If something naturally evolves over the course of her transition, though, I think we’d all embrace that, too.
donkeywork+10
Just teared up here. Congratulations to your family, it’s so nice to see news like this received with happiness and can-do spirit.
blunderbusst+15
Agreed! We are all a little concerned by how well we’re all handling it, honestly. It’s one thing to say, “No matter what you say, do, or are, I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I support you, and I’m not ever going anywhere ever,” and an entirely other thing to discover that one actually means that!
My parents raised some pretty amazing kids, because my siblings are being total champs.
femaelstrom+11
Ohhhh congratulations! I’m so glad she feels comfortable coming out, that is so exciting ^^
I hope you don’t mind me asking, do you continue to call her “Dad”?
blunderbusst+43
Questions are totally ok! We are very inquisitive people by nature, and we are all about asking and answering questions with each other and our various supports right now.
She said, “I’m your Dad, I’m your father, I always have been, and I always will.”
My sister wanted to know, “Ok, but I’m your daughter, you’re my _____? When you think about it, do you think of yourself as Dad? Mom? Something else?”
Dad said, “I’m your Dad.”
dakimel+12
damn these tears, they make it hard to see the keyboard to reply about how much I love you all.
blunderbusst+8
I know, right! It’s all a little gross how well-adjusted and loving we are.
femaelstrom+76
DADNESS TRANSCENDS GENDER
blunderbusst+18
If ever there was an unofficial Dad Magazine slogan!
blunderbusst+28
Was totally thinking about this comment last night when Dad was giving us a detailed (i.e., BORING) description of her beauty routine. When she got to the part about, “if I’m not going out, I don’t want to waste my good boob glue, so I use this other thing instead,” I lost it, laughing hysterically. Forever Dad!
Mrs_Peel+13
Not wanting to waste the “good” boob glue totally fits within the Dad Magazine spirit, I think.
blunderbusst+19
Example text 1 from my dad: “Walked over 10,000 steps today in 3″ heels. Not bad for an old lady!” Example text 2 from my dad, 10 minutes later: “Do you want me to come help you jump start your car?” Example text 3 from my dad, 1 minute after that (no reply from me yet, by the way): “I’m on the way to your house with the jumper cables.”
Mrs_Peel+7
That’s better than I could do in heels!
EPWordsnatcher+15
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING SHUT UP
(Much love and congrats to your once and future Dad! I hope her transition goes smoothly! Good on your entire family for being so awesome.)
blunderbusst+9
Let’s all hold each other and cry a little! With love! (And thank you. I’ve never been more proud of my entire clan than I am this week.)
elsamac+10
WOW what great, huge news!
blunderbusst+5
Thanks!
blushingflower+9
Yay! It is always wonderful when people feel like they can be honest about who they are. Give the way you are accepting her, I think your dad clearly did an A+ job of raising her kids.
blunderbusst+5
THANK YOU!
deleted182847+22
Or you could say “What Happened To Saxophone Solos? Turn The Page To Find Out!”
Yeah, I Seger-ed you.
cleoreads+21
My dad believes in the email, text message, phone call trifecta. My younger cousins don’t respond much to email or phone calls, so my dad will txt them that he sent an email he wants them to read, and will they please call him to discuss it.
wickedtongue+8
Do other people’s dads use subject lines for their texts? Wondering if it’s a Dad trend.
RuncibleSpoon+4
SEALANT!
captainbartlet+13
My parents are lesbians, so everything I know about ‘dads’ is based on what I glean from these editions of Dad Magazine. I’ve learned so much. Thanks guys.
dancingcrowdesigns+5
My neighbors are lesbians, and it seems like they have distributed some of the dad-ness across their relationship (regarding household tasks and parenting that requires to be done) and just skipped other parts entirely.
Which is to ask if any of the topics in Dad magazine are topics either parent has raised with you?
captainbartlet+5
My moms are really more peak Mom than anything else. They tell me to put on a sweater a lot, and encourage me to share my feelings, but they have so entirely rejected men that they cannot even begin to think about the water heater or shoveling the snow. It’s inspiring tbh, but if we need anything, my grandfather worries about that kind of stuff.
Mrs_Peel+5
My mom is much more Dad Magazine than my dad, to be honest. She and I have had many discussions about snow tires. So many.
RockyCat+3
What is going on in that picture? Is that dude … pulling fish out of the water by hand? Pulling them out of the … netting? What is he balanced on? Why is he wearing a leather jacket over a dress shirt while balanced over water? So many questions … The ashed-up cig is a nice touch, though.
cleoreads+4
I don’t know exactly what’s going on, beyond that it looks like he’s fishing, but I recognize the look of a Dad Getting Things Done.
cleo
I don't know exactly what's going on, beyond that it looks like he's fishing, but I recognize the look of a Dad Getting Things Done.
My dad hit Peak Dad this week. Would you like to see the wedding present he got us?
Yes. As a fellow Dad I’m always looking for tips!
1. our wedding is in September
2. we have had a week of 40-50 degrees and sun
3. this is probably the best present in the world
Hi we need to hire your dad for the magazine
He would be excellent at discussing seasonally appropriate footwear (Rain Boots Or Topsiders Without Socks? It’s May), any of several varieties of cooking for a crowd, exposes of the local bait shop, etc.
Do you get blower-level snow where you live though?
Northwest lower Michigan. Yeah, we really do. This year we only got about ten feet, last year we got 22.
Then Dad is just On Top Of It.
Last week my mom texted me a picture of my dad running the snow blower while wearing shorts. I think a snow blower is required in order to have a true Peak Dad moment.
I don’t know. I grew up in the southern half of the country and had honestly never seen a snow blower until I happened to pass by a Home Depot in New Jersey while traveling for work stuff a few years ago. Which is to say that there is an entire contingent of dad’s in this country who don’t have or use snow blowers. Maybe it’s a peak northern dad thing?
I think probably in lower latitudes the same effect is reached with the lawn mower.
A riding mower, ideally.
Peak summer dad is the push mower my dad converted by welding a wheeled platform to the back, so he can ride it like a segway.
Maybe the southern equivalent is the dehumidifier?
Trust me, as an Aussie, there are whole continents of dads who have no idea what snowblowers even are. Peak dad here would be a huge BBQ with a wok burner.
Went to my parents for self-imposed brunch the other day. My dad was cooking fritters (like, savoury pancakes? relic of my childhood) on aluminium foil, on the bbq, oil bottle in hand, without any luck at all.
Halfway through, he made a discovery and shouted through the kitchen window to Mum, ‘It’s ok! We don’t need to use the alfoil! It works just fine on the grill plate!’ Then proceeded to talk our ears off about his over-55s cycling club for an hour and a half.
Normal dad day?
…or your dad’s Peak Dad moment can be “Snow blower?!? You don’t need a snow blower, get out there and shovel! Builds character!”
That is an excellent and practical wedding gift. Wedding presents that you use all the time > dumb china you never use
Was not even exaggerating that this is basically the best physical present I have ever gotten, ever.
(We are doing a Honeyfund for 99.9% of presents for exactly this reason.)
My mom and dad gave us snow tires as a wedding present. We live in northern Minnesota. It was seriously the best present ever and we thank them on about a weekly basis in the winter.
Two-stage with a Tecumseh engine? Uffdah, she’s a real beaut!
It has six forward gears and two reverse gears, which is at least two more total gears than any car I have ever owned or driven. It is massive and gorgeous.
This is beautiful. From eastern Massachusetts I salute your dad.
Also from eastern Massachusetts and I’m getting a bit teary.
That is the most Dad present ever, and also fantastic
My dad is not a big sax guy but is quite concerned about the demise of the “mighty Wurlitzer organ” in pop music and longs for its triumphant return. Please note that he doesn’t play a single instrument, he just appreciates a good use of organ in rock music.
YES! My dad played organ in a small-time rock band in Kansas in the 60s & 70s. I know all about the dadly love of organ in rock music.
Your dad was in Kansas?! I love “Carry On Wayward Son”.
Same for my dad, but French horn.
My beloved partner has a Wurlitzer. We don’t agree on the subject “Wurlitzer – wonderful or awful?”.
FAR-FI-SA
Does your father have an opinion about the Hammond B3 Organ? Mine does!
I’m gonna go into a Leslie speaker trance.
I was just about to post this. My dad wasn’t into Wurlitzers but man was he psyched about Hammonds.
I was *just* about to say the same thing!
Oh dear. My husband’s music features both B3 AND abundant saxophone solos. He is also exceedingly fond of bad puns. Do you think … he could secretly be a dad?
As has been mentioned elsewhere, Dadliness can transcend gender and child-having status. So…maybe? He certainly seems to have dadlike tendencies.
My dad also points out, at every opportunity, that “see, pop songs used to have ORGAN JAMS!” Another exciting chapter in his opus: Everything Used To Be Cool But Now It Isn’t.
I feel like the recent saxophone solo resurgence (Katy Perry’s “Last Friday Night”, Lady Gaga’s “Edge of Glory”) might have slipped by Dad Magazine’s crack team somehow.
Did you just “actually” Dad Magazine?
Not at all, I just think maybe Dad Magazine might be a little behind on that Lady GooGoo, or whatever her name is. Also, much ink was spilled about the supposed “saxophone solo Renaissance” at the time, and it turned out to be… two songs.
Now I feel like I was rude. Crap. :-/
I don’t think your average Dad Magazine-reading Dad listens to a lot of Katy Perry and Lady Gaga. I think this is more addressing the disquieting lack of sax in Bruce Springsteen’s recent albums.
… I really want to go to a family party with dads at it, quietly whisper “Springsteen is overrated” into someone’s ear, and just watch the fur fly. I don’t actually think he’s overrated, but if you can’t troll your family…?
Update: Listening to Springsteen at work. Day improved.
I once had to meet my Dad at a Bruce Springsteen concert. It was like one of those Where’s Waldos where all the people look pretty much exactly like Waldo, except a sea of Dads instead of Waldos.
What a perfect thing.
It really was. It filled me with deep affection not just for my Dad, but for balding middle-aged men from New Jersey as a category, which was not an affection I had previously noticed I had. And then I got to see Bruce Springsteen kick ass!
This may need to be Dad Magazine’s motto, echoing The Toast’s: “A willing foe, and a sea of dads.”
This is not an “actually” but it is a Fun Fact®: my parents went to a Lady Gaga concert for my dad’s 57th birthday a few years ago. My dad also built his own arch for Christmas lights when the condo board wouldn’t allow him to attach the lights directly to the outside of their house, so he has plenty of charming dadlike quirks to balance out the knowledge of popular music.
My dad bought Katy Perry’s first album- the Christian one when she was still Katy Hudson. He liked her, “This girl is sharp!”
Some dads enjoy discovering upbeat new music to accompany their slideshows!
Dad Knowledge Link: Clarence Clemons was the saxophonist that played with Springsteen AND did the solo for Lady Gaga ‘Edge of Glory’ 🙂
This is also my first comment on the Toast after being a ridiculously long-time lurker… Hi! *waves nervously*
Guys it took literally all of my moral strength to not make a youtube video of my Dad explaining Tinder based on a NYTimes article he read.
Can we at least get a summary?
“So, it seems like the young people are dating using this app. . .where you look through pictures and you can just meet someone in a coffee shop right away! But they worry that maybe it makes you have too many options so you can’t pick just one person”.
My Dad’s entire worldview is based on things he reads in the NYTimes or hears on NPR, with extremely amusing results. One morning in high school I came downstairs and he looked at me earnestly and said “You kids aren’t doing these. . .meta-amphetamines, are you?”
I am so happy, in this moment. It’s probably the meta-amphetamines.
It’s gonna happen. I’ll be 40 later this year but I don’t have any children, but nonetheless….it’s gonna happen one day–NYT will be the first place I hear of something and I’ll end up asking my niece about it and she’ll tell me it happened last year. And I’ll know.
I mean, I’m only 28 but already the teenagers I work with at my nonprofit have had to explain a LOT of slang to me. Did you know that instead of a slut now you call someone a “Thot”, which stands for “Those Hoes Out There”?? I mean I guess I at least heard it from them and not the NYTimes but it is clear we are all doomed.
The children tell me that “bae” stands for “before anyone else”. I thought it was just a short form of “babe” or “baby”. I am also 28 and can’t get out of a chair without making noise anymore…
WHAT THAT’S INSANE
Sounds like a “backronym”: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backronym
I’m certain they’re both backronyms (I’d heard it was “that ho over there” for thot), but try explaining that to a 13-year-old girl. They look at you as if mealworms are pouring out of your nose.
The children are misinformed. What happened is that black teenagers took one of the B’s out of “babe” and people started copying them. It’s like people saying “FUCK” stands for “Fornication Under Consent of King:” it sounds neat but it’s too pat.
As a youngster I was told the “F” word was “For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge.”
Don’t trust Michael Anthony.
I need to know, because I’ve only ever seen it in text: is “thot” pronounced like “thought”? Does this have anything to do with the etymology? How do kids these days handle all these clunky misleading homophones?
Yes, it’s pronounced like Thought. And I have no idea why or how they deal with all of this. Also apparently “brick” can refer both to cold weather or a person with an ugly face. WHY?
Well, children are the future or whatever, I guess. I have so much to learn from our snot-nosed linguistic overlords.
I can’t believe there are actually people out there using brick for cold! Some friends and I found that on Urban Dictionary and started using it because we live somewhere cold, but I assumed we were basically the only people actually using it.
brick for an ugly face because it looks like the person got hit in the face with a brick?
‘Thot’ rhymes with ‘pot’ for me, where ‘thought’ has the same ‘o’ vowel as ‘coffee’. If those aren’t different sounds for you, then yes, thot = thought!
*slow clap*
SEALANT!
My dad used to give eloquent sermons on the myriad uses of sealant and its distant second cousin, WD-40.
My dad does not have Twitter (as far as I know). He does, however, have a Facebook, which he uses exclusively to post pictures he’s taken of jam bands. Also sometimes the dog, I guess.
My dad thought twitter was RIDICULOUS until I showed him the RealTimeWWII account. Now he’s very interested but still doesn’t understand how to get one.
For years, my dad has been talking about getting a dog after retirement. To hold him over, I got him a little stuffed dog, which he promptly named Wilhelm. He tweets as Wilhelm (@WilhelmtheDog)–mostly just with photos he takes (he loves photography). Please follow him, because I can’t wait to hear his mystification at suddenly having an influx of misandrist librarian followers!
DONE, because: delightful!
Wilhelm’s account is private – I submitted a request to follow – but I’m not a librarian. Will he let me in? (@maridesce)
My dad has neither Facebook nor Twitter–the closest he’s got is sending group texts or emails to me and my mom and my brothers. These always consist of (a) pictures of the dogs, (b) slo-mo videos of the dogs, or (c) both a and b.
My mom always says that when she meets up with people, they want to know if she has pictures of the kids. Well, no, but she’s got tons of pictures of the dog.
Every issue there’s something that makes me realize the daditude of my gender. This time, it’s sealant, for sure.
My father in law’s favorite move is to call all of our phones in a row if we don’t immediately pick up (my husband and I both work from home, so that’s two cell phones and two work landlines). It’s pretty fucking annoying, to the point where it often works because we’re so annoyed.
My husband is increasing in his “Dadness” Last week there was a kerfuffle because he had run out of weather sealant for his work boots, he had to use spray silicone instead and was perturbed to say the least.
Dads on Twitter! My dad got a twitter account a few years ago, because he thought he’d tweet a Bible verse of the day, which would cross post to his blog. (He gave up after a couple of attempts to cut down verses to 140 characters.) But then he discovered that he could instead use Twitter for news headlines, product recalls, and sports. He’s in heaven.
(My husband doesn’t even use Twitter for headlines. He only uses Twitter to tweet at the Canadian Football League about bad calls, and at TSN when he misses a play because they were interviewing a mascot. Sometimes he also uses Twitter to get faster customer service.)
I mean this one is RIPPED FROM THE HEADLINES
Just wait until your dad discovers that he can use Instagram to share pictures of home renovations. It seems to be the next step.
Note to self: Post photos of new kitchen on Instagram! Why didn’t I think of that? 😉
“Slubchan” is one of the best twitter handles I’ve seen. Points to Pop Lubchansky.
Real talk: your husband uses Twitter in a healthier way than 99% of Twitter users.
Can I talk about something that makes me really happy? When Dads edge towards retirement, and have the time to get more into the hobbies that have always interested them, and are just *so happy* about it. My dad has been doing a ton of digital and film photography (at which he’s fantastic, and from when he makes wall calendars that he sends me and some other relatives and friends), going to a bunch of classic car shows, and seeing more live jazz and folk music, and I am so damn happy for him.
Also: my husband’s parents have had way more trouble with him being gay than my parents have. (Mine have been basically perfect about it, from the beginning, his have not.) But one of the things that has helped to bring his parents around is becoming friends with my parents. Watching our Dads hang out and be Dads is THE BEST.
That is excellent.
Awww, that’s lovely to hear! My dad will be retired as of April 1, and my mom is a bit worried about how he’ll adjust – he’s always been someone who’s worked a lot and really likes to be active. Hopefully he’ll devote himself to hobbies. (He’s already doing a lot of photography and going to jam-band concerts with my mom, so that’s a start.)
My dad makes us calendars from his photography too! It’s an interest I share, so we go on photo walks together and trash talk each other’s pics. It’s fantastic.
I get a calendar every year at Christmas. It’s funny because I used to make calendars for my aunts and uncles as a kid (lots and lots of little kid drawings, one for each month).
Well, having studied Industrial Arts he’ll have a ready-made hobby!
Tooool operators…
It’s the two-part harmony that really takes it over the top for me.
My dad was really cute about this when he retired. He checked out all the local clubs in all of his areas of interest – photography, woodworking, sailing, Bridge, etc. He rejected the photography club because it was too long of a drive – and I think he didn’t find the group as simpatico as the woodworking group.
I talked with him this weekend and asked him if he has a new project he’s excited about and he was so happy to tell me about re-organizing the sailing club’s teaching materials.
oh yeah, my Dad is having the best time ever in retirement! He likes cooking, so a lot of his time has been spent expanding the veggie garden to a ridiculous size, and acquiring several chickens after setting up a very elaborate chicken coop. Bonus for me, home-grown veggies and lots of fresh eggs!
My mum has also just retired, and I was a bit concerned how Dad would cope (my Mum is a wonderful lady with an excessive amount of energy), but luckily Mum has been so busy with her own stuff she hasn’t given Dad too many projects yet! Plus the arrival of the grandchild in August should sufficiently occupy her!
That’s much better than turning into a concrete wall. Good job, fun retired Dads.
Oh you guys – enjoy the hell out of them now, because they age out of the enjoyment way too fast (I know, I know, I sound like the parent of a teenager) but: my dad is 90 this year, and he’s pretty spry, and was pleased when we moved the machine shop into our garage for him to mess about (that was three tons of iron in various forms, including a milling machine and a metal lathe and three, count ’em THREE drill presses for various purposes) but he’s slowing down and what is worse his clever brain is going and reading your dad stories is making me all verklempt and wistful.
Peak Dad here at my house: My dad is outside with my sister right now, watching a new utility pole being erected. Binoculars are involved.
Okay, well, see, that’s just good humanity, right there.
Ugh that’s totally a Peak Dad moment. Adorable.
I literally just guffawed. That is the platonic ideal of Dadness!
So did !. Literal LOL. Meaning barely audible chuckle to one’s self, right?
Honestly, Sports Twitter is best twitter, that’s just good advice. It goes:
Sports Twitter
Weird Twitter
Animal Twitter
Brand Twitter
Media Twitter
Garbage Humans
Does @BirdsRightsActivist fall under “Animal” or “Weird” twitter?
Yes
Excuse me, but Toastie Twitter is the best twitter.
My husband has a twitter account for sports! It’s mostly used to see if other people agree with him re: a ref’s bad call.
ETA: He never posts, just searches.
He is absolutely using it the way it was meant to be used.
STICK-TO-IT-TIVENESS!!!!
My bracket has “moxie” making a deep run as a 12-seed.
Yeah, but what about when it comes face-to-face with “scheduled oil changes”? I mean, we’re all pulling for “moxie” but some juggernauts are unmovable.
is this persistence or a glue stick-off?
My dad still doesn’t have a Twitter, probably because he doesn’t like sports. But he does have a Pinterest, because my mom got one. He is upset that his whole Pinterest feed is “suggested pins,” which is the case because he (a) refuses to follow anyone and (b) will not pin anything. I’m not sure what he wants to do with Pinterest.
Um, maybe I'm your Dad? (Right age, wrong gender.) I do want someone to tell me why I have a Pinterest account.
My Dad briefly had a twitter. He used to talk about golf, and tweet abuse at Chuck Grassley.
Tweeting abuse at Chuck Grassley is the only good reason to have a twitter. The senator followed me back when I followed him so I’m holding out hope that he personally reads my mockery.
He Does! I made a poem out of a Chuck Grassley tweet for a poetry class and Chuck was very happy about it when I told him:
Chuck Grassley R-Iowa Oct 25
Fred and I hit a deer on hiway 136
south of Dyersville.
After I pulled the fender rubbing on tire,
we continued to farm.
Assume
deer dead.
I got an A in the class.
“Assume deer dead” is one of the all-time Twitter classics. It will be in history books.
Imma let you finish, but this is the greatest Grassley tweet of all time: https://twitter.com/chuckgrassley/status/14948168…
#pantsburnlegwound
This is amazing.
Also this: “Windsor Heights Dairy Queen is good place for u know what”.
U KNOW WHAT
As a youngster I was told the "F" word was "For Unlawful Carnal Knowledge."
One time my husband and I were doing yard work on a Sunday morning and didn’t pick up the phone or answer email for like four hours until our neighbors showed up at the door because my Dad had CALL ED THEM and asked them to check up on us because he was worried.
I just came across the most Dad or Dad-type shirt! http://teespring.com/too-late-for-tall-ships#pid=…
Do you have a Dad? He probably needs this shirt.
Heck with my Dad. I want that shirt!
My father-in-law had a peak-dad moment upon my in-laws’ return from vacation. According to MIL: “We didn’t send postcards – but did buy them Dad wants to scan them to add to our photo collection – then I’ll send them.”
TODAY IS MY DAD’S BIRTHDAY!
My dad doesn’t use email, but if I don’t answer his calls, even if I just miss one call, he leaves me voicemails like this [in a very thick Greek accent]: “are you okay? you don’t call; you don’t write. Don’t you love me anymore? This is your dad.”
I love this so much. It reminds me of my pappou.
What’s extra funny is that I see him almost every weekend, and he still leaves me these voicemails on a Tuesday or something. My favorite part is when he clarifies who he is. Like, how many old Greek men do I have calling me? I’m pretty sure I could guess that it was you, dad.
I like that he waits until the end of the voicemail to tell you who it is! In case you thought this whole time that it was one of the OTHER old Greek men telling you he loves you.
Saxophone solos haven’t been the same since we lost the Big Man tho :'(
for real 🙁 https://youtu.be/RmUG1ffgKFw
We’re visiting Williamsburg this week (the whole family! So excite!), and we went to Colonial Williamsburg on Monday. Dad got three maps, one for each relational unit (I’m the spinster, so I get my own map), and the lady at the desk had circled interesting sights in green. He made sure we went over what we wanted to see, whether we wanted to split up or not, and what our meeting times should be.
When I found him and Mom later, they were in the garden, discussing 18th-century gardening techniques with one of the re-enactors. They were both very excited about the cold frames. Dad was also very excited about the joinery, and found the smell of the wood shavings deeply satisfying.
He also got misty-eyed wandering around the graveyard of the (still active) 18th-c. church. Because my dad has a lot of feelings, and it’s adorable.
Please go to the Cheese Shop and eat breadends with house dressing.
#tribepride
We went to the Cheese Shop for sandwiches and beer/cider, but we didn’t have bread ends. I did, however, stop back in today for some gjetost.
now i want to steal your dad for historic home visits!
We went back today, and discovered that not only is the brickyard ticket only, but it was only open on Monday, so he missed it. He was sad; he wanted to see them burning a huge pile of oyster shells. He just gave me a brief overview of the way the fire breaks down the chemical bonds so you can make lime. He’s pretty great to have around for historical tours and stuff.
my dad also enjoys discussing chemistry/life sciences/history at any all relevant points!
i need a new dad field trip 😀
Oh this just reminded me of one of my dad’s favourite travel stories: they went to some reenactment village in Victoria or NSW (somewhere eastern, anyway) and he decided to ‘play along’ with the reenactors, because they worked so hard at their roles.
So when they asked him how he got there from so far away, he said ‘a big metal bird flew us through the sky’, and had a really long conversation with them where he tried to explain 21st-century things in 18th-century terms. He laughs the whole time he tells it, even while we all groan uncontrollably.
Soon-to-be-Missus-Emby and I don’t plan to have kids, so it’s unlikely I’ll ever be a father to biological children, but I’ll be damned if I’m not heading straight for the center of the Dad Universe, anyway. It’s important to know things about sealant!
Dadliness transcends the mere fact of having kids or not. You will be glorious!
I got a voicemail the other day that began “Hi Beth, this is Steve… your dad. Dad.”
My father more than once greeted me on the phone with “Hello, Emily, it’s your father, Horace.” He was polite to a fault.
I have a friend whose dad leaves voicemails that begin “Hello, this is your father, [dad’s first name], ‘Dad’.” Like he is listing all his known aliases.
Not technically Dad behavior, but my mom will not only say hello, tell me that it’s her calling, and leave me a voicemail, she will include the day and time.
I think this was a thing back when voicemail came on tapes though, like you couldnt be sure when it was recorded so it was polite to say so. my mom does this too.
My mother always answered the phone with a recital of the phone number, just in case you weren’t paying attention when you dialed.
She got me into it for most of my childhood, and it was only when my first boyfriend called me and I answered and he asked if he could speak to me that I decided it might be ‘adult’ behaviour and stopped.
My mom has once or twice concluded voicemails with “Love, Mom.” (I don’t think she’s ever used her first name, though.)
I get “hello, lovely daughter. This is your father.”
D’awwww!
He’s pretty great.
My dad signs his texts. (“Love, Dad” or just “Dad”). I know he knows that I know who it is but he does it anyway and it is the best.
My dad opens his calls with “Hi cynthy-bones, this is your old Uncle Fudd. this is your father.” and then proceeds with business.
Same. Followed by what day and time he is calling. Just in case.
Dads! I am so glad to see this here, because I love love love Dad Magazine, and also because MY DAD CAME OUT AS A TRANS LADY over the weekend and I have been so excited to talk to you guys about it!
If I have time, I was planning to post about it in the open thread tomorrow, but if anyone feels so moved to chat about it now, I’m here for the chats.
p.s. Sorry I haven’t been around very much the past few months: work is all 60-hour weeks and stupid people right now. But I love you guys and miss you guys and I hope everyone is thriving and being awesome and stuff!
Yay! (I feel I should yay this.) My Dad who is 70 came out to us and he is SO happy now. Yay for dads being brave and yay for family. My Dad has no idea what sealant is (he’s in Los Angeles) but he has thoughts on medical marijuana. So many thoughts.
Agreed! There is a lot of “yay” happening right now (like, the biggest thing I feel like talking about is: is it weird to not feel all that weirded out about this revelation?). Dads are awesome.
That’s big! Congratulations to him!! I hope that he is deeply happy.
Thank you! He is. SHE! She is. Pronouns are hard right now, but we’re all doing relatively well considering that Dad is 65 and has been living with the knowledge of who she really is and keeping it a secret from everyone since she was 22. I’m so proud of her, and it’s amazing to watch her blossom into, well, herself!
Ack yes you’re right I’m sorry! I hope she is deeply happy!! And I’m so glad she has you for support and love!
No apologies necessary! Dad is very cool with the learning curve required, and has asked us to use the pronoun that goes with however s/he is presenting, and understands that can make both the past tense and the abstract sort of difficult. As s/he said to me the other night, “It doesn’t matter if you get it right. It matters if you try.”
Really pretty good life advice there.
I feel like my heart just grew three sizes reading that. Congratulations to her!
Are you still calling her Dad, or figuring out another name?
So far, we’re all (Dad included) still very comfortable with calling her Dad (see my slightly more in-depth answer to @femaelstrom in this thread).
We all thought that switching to “Mom” might be weird (especially since our mom passed away a few years ago and we’re all still dealing with the grief of that). I briefly considered coming up with some new third thing that would celebrate her female-ness, but the answer Dad gave when we asked about it pretty much made me stop thinking about it.
If something naturally evolves over the course of her transition, though, I think we’d all embrace that, too.
Just teared up here. Congratulations to your family, it’s so nice to see news like this received with happiness and can-do spirit.
Agreed! We are all a little concerned by how well we’re all handling it, honestly. It’s one thing to say, “No matter what you say, do, or are, I love you, and I want you to be happy, and I support you, and I’m not ever going anywhere ever,” and an entirely other thing to discover that one actually means that!
My parents raised some pretty amazing kids, because my siblings are being total champs.
Ohhhh congratulations! I’m so glad she feels comfortable coming out, that is so exciting ^^
I hope you don’t mind me asking, do you continue to call her “Dad”?
Questions are totally ok! We are very inquisitive people by nature, and we are all about asking and answering questions with each other and our various supports right now.
She said, “I’m your Dad, I’m your father, I always have been, and I always will.”
My sister wanted to know, “Ok, but I’m your daughter, you’re my _____? When you think about it, do you think of yourself as Dad? Mom? Something else?”
Dad said, “I’m your Dad.”
damn these tears, they make it hard to see the keyboard to reply about how much I love you all.
I know, right! It’s all a little gross how well-adjusted and loving we are.
DADNESS TRANSCENDS GENDER
If ever there was an unofficial Dad Magazine slogan!
Was totally thinking about this comment last night when Dad was giving us a detailed (i.e., BORING) description of her beauty routine. When she got to the part about, “if I’m not going out, I don’t want to waste my good boob glue, so I use this other thing instead,” I lost it, laughing hysterically. Forever Dad!
Not wanting to waste the “good” boob glue totally fits within the Dad Magazine spirit, I think.
Example text 1 from my dad: “Walked over 10,000 steps today in 3″ heels. Not bad for an old lady!”
Example text 2 from my dad, 10 minutes later: “Do you want me to come help you jump start your car?”
Example text 3 from my dad, 1 minute after that (no reply from me yet, by the way): “I’m on the way to your house with the jumper cables.”
That’s better than I could do in heels!
I’M NOT CRYING YOU’RE CRYING SHUT UP
(Much love and congrats to your once and future Dad! I hope her transition goes smoothly! Good on your entire family for being so awesome.)
Let’s all hold each other and cry a little! With love! (And thank you. I’ve never been more proud of my entire clan than I am this week.)
WOW what great, huge news!
Thanks!
Yay!
It is always wonderful when people feel like they can be honest about who they are. Give the way you are accepting her, I think your dad clearly did an A+ job of raising her kids.
THANK YOU!
Or you could say “What Happened To Saxophone Solos? Turn The Page To Find Out!”
Yeah, I Seger-ed you.
My dad believes in the email, text message, phone call trifecta. My younger cousins don’t respond much to email or phone calls, so my dad will txt them that he sent an email he wants them to read, and will they please call him to discuss it.
Do other people’s dads use subject lines for their texts? Wondering if it’s a Dad trend.
SEALANT!
My parents are lesbians, so everything I know about ‘dads’ is based on what I glean from these editions of Dad Magazine. I’ve learned so much. Thanks guys.
My neighbors are lesbians, and it seems like they have distributed some of the dad-ness across their relationship (regarding household tasks and parenting that requires to be done) and just skipped other parts entirely.
Which is to ask if any of the topics in Dad magazine are topics either parent has raised with you?
My moms are really more peak Mom than anything else. They tell me to put on a sweater a lot, and encourage me to share my feelings, but they have so entirely rejected men that they cannot even begin to think about the water heater or shoveling the snow. It’s inspiring tbh, but if we need anything, my grandfather worries about that kind of stuff.
My mom is much more Dad Magazine than my dad, to be honest. She and I have had many discussions about snow tires. So many.
What is going on in that picture? Is that dude … pulling fish out of the water by hand? Pulling them out of the … netting? What is he balanced on? Why is he wearing a leather jacket over a dress shirt while balanced over water? So many questions … The ashed-up cig is a nice touch, though.
I don’t know exactly what’s going on, beyond that it looks like he’s fishing, but I recognize the look of a Dad Getting Things Done.
I don't know exactly what's going on, beyond that it looks like he's fishing, but I recognize the look of a Dad Getting Things Done.