Astrologically Incompatible Couples That Seem Like They’re Doing Fine:
Jay Z (Sagittarius), Beyoncé (Virgo)
Bill Gates (Scorpio), Melinda Gates (Leo)
Barack Obama (Leo), Michelle Obama (Capricorn)
Danny DeVito (Scorpio), Rhea Perlman (Aries)
Dan Savage (Libra), Terry Miller (Pisces)
Maury Povich (Capricorn), Connie Chung (Leo)
Aishwarya Rai (Scorpio), Abhishek Bacchan (Aquarius)
Bill Clinton (Leo), Hillary Clinton (Scorpio) (They’re fine!)
Oprah (Aquarius), Stedman (Pisces) and Gayle (Capricorn)
Me (Virgo), my best friend (Libra)
Astrologically Incompatible Couples That Were, In Fact, Incompatible:
Henry VIII (Cancer), Catherine of Aragon (Sagittarius)
Richard Burton (Pisces), Elizabeth Taylor (Leo)
Ellen Degeneres (Aquarius), Anne Heche (Gemini)
Nora Ephron (Taurus), Carl Bernstein (Aquarius)
Padma Lakshmi (Virgo), Salman Rushdie (Gemini)
Frida Kahlo (Cancer), Diego Rivera (Sagittarius)
Tom Cruise (Cancer), Katie Holmes (Sagittarius)
Jane Austen (Sagittarius), Harris Bigg-Wither (Taurus)
Ben Affleck (Leo), Jennifer Lopez (Leo)
Me (Virgo), this one guy, ugh, it doesn’t even matter (Aries)
Astrologically Compatible Couples That Couldn’t Make It Work:
Henry VIII (Cancer), Anne of Cleves (Virgo)
Brad Pitt (Sagittarius), Jennifer Aniston (Aquarius)
Dina Lohan (Virgo), Michael Lohan (Taurus)
Lord Byron (Aquarius), Augusta Leigh (Aquarius)
Julius Caesar (Cancer), Cleopatra (Scorpio)
Amy Poehler (Virgo), Will Arnett (Taurus)
Patti Smith (Capricorn), Robert Mapplethorpe (Scorpio)
John Lennon (Libra), Paul McCartney (Gemini)
Me (Virgo), my ex-boyfriends (Virgo, Capricorn)
My ex-boyfriends with each other (Virgo, Capricorn)
Astrologically Compatible Couples That Make You Believe In, If Not Astrology, Magic:
Nick Offerman (Cancer), Megan Mullally (Scorpio)
Gloria Estefan (Virgo), Emilio Estefan (Pisces)
Ellen DeGeneres (Aquarius), Portia de Rossi (Aquarius)
Kanye West (Gemini), Kim Kardashian (Libra)
My parents (Leo, Sagittarius)
Tags: alison howard, astrology, inscrutability, relationships
Me: Scorpio, only child of divorce
Him: Scorpio, youngest of two, parents still together
HOW MUCH LONGER DO WE HAVE, EVERYONE?
Oh god I find Scorpios terrifying.
We are very terrifying, I assure you.
It’s true, we are. But totally worth it. Probably. Maybe.
~~★If yOu caN’t hanDLe me at mY wORst, thEn you sUre As HELL dOn’t deSerVe me aT my bEst★~~ RIGHT SCORPIO LADIES LOLZ
(For what it’s worth, Cancers think you’re great!)
Nope, cancer here, have got into a screaming match with almost every scorpio sun I’ve ever met. BUT for some reason if they are a sag/scorpio cusp its love at first sight, or if they have scorpio elsewhere in the chart. As for me, I have tons of fire and air in my chart. I’m an aries moon, gemini midhaven, venus in gemini, leo rising, and house of partnerships in sag. Hmm and there’s a few in aqua but I can’t remember what they are specifically. I’m also born on the cancemini cusp. My feelings as a cancer as usually confused with logic. I’m also an extremely independent person, and I L O V E banter and wordplay.
Anyway I once dated an aries, it went up in FLAMES. I cannot stand that sign, although we meshed well when he wasn’t acting like a jealous psycho. Then I dated sag/scorpio cusp on the sag side and it was the most unreal and amazing relationship of my life. We only broke up because of things outside our control. Then I tried a libra II, found him boring as hell and too standoffish. Then a leo, we meshed really well but he went back to his ex after some time. Then a taurus– too boring for me, and this is typical of them for me, either I think they’re nuts or boring, depends on the type. Capricorn was really great and loving, but too much of a homebody.
Anyways all of my notable relationships are:
Best friend- sept 24 libra I
Best friend- nov 23 sag scorpio cusp
Best friend- sept 1 virgo I
Close friend sept 28 libra I
Close friend- auh 9 leo II
Mom- feb 11 aqua and we get along SO WELL. she has a cancer moon.
Close friend- nov 24 sag/scorpio cusp
Close friend- dec 21 sag
Close friend- feb 19 aqua/pieces cusp
Anddd… now I find myself dating a sept 27 libra I with a scorpio moon. Lol. We get along really well when he isn’t having an effing moodswing (during which I just leave him alone for a day and he comes back happy). He’s an introvert and I think he gets all unbalanced after spending a week around lots of people, cause he usually has his meltdowns on friday night hahaha. Oh and he’s a venus in gemini, too 🙂 banter banter banter and LOTS of teasing and its like foreplay for us.
My nickname in college was ‘scary Es’. It took my friends a good year to work up the courage to tell me this was the case.
Ah I love Scorpios, they are sexy and interesting!!
Actually I think two Scorpios are supposed to be a good pairing. Who else gets us so well?
I am pretty sure that some people find me, also Scorpio, terrifying although I try to be approachable.
For instance, your average sales guy: gregarious, flirtatious, a little shady. Wants in my seemingly-naive pants until he realizes I am actually inscrutable and intense, not as good-girl shy/naive as some may read me at first — and then Average Sales Guy tiptoes around my periphery, gingerly trying to figure out how to charm and approach, yet terrified to do so. I eye him suspiciously, as his ulterior motives lay squiggling like worms in the harsh light of my intuitive-o-vision.
This has happened at least three definite times in my life and it’s awkward and I seem unable to change the unfolding of the events each time.
…Or maybe that’s just introvert/extrovert normal conflict of personalities.
Boo for me 🙁
Huh, you’d think that astrology’s accuracy/inaccuracy is statistically not worth even considering with this list. But did you consider the influence of retrograde mercury at the times of birth or first meeting? or the presence of a full moon, particularly if it’s the second in any one month?
According to my twitter feed, those two things have enormous influences on daily life in ways you just can’t believe.
Obviously I don’t even slightly believe in astrology, but despite that, I am a freakishly typical Scorpio.
Yeah, I am very, very much a Taurus to the point it is scary.
Yes. Me too.
A friend of my mumjs drew up my in-detail astrological chart for when I was born, too. Not just my birth sign but all the other gubbins. Startlingly accurate.
Yet I still do no beliiiiieve
I think horoscopes are hogwash but I get a lot of pleasure out of discussing them anyway.
I am a freakishly typical Scorpio too! My boyfriend has every single Tauran trait that ever was.
Are Taurus-Scorpio matches supposed to work?
Give me all your horoscope-y compatibility stories!!
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand now i have the urge to look up whether my fiance and I are astrologically compatible.
Me: Gemini
Him: Aquarius
We never stop talking. Steer clear, everyone.
Daughter: Taurus
I have no idea what’s going to come of that.
You have a perfect match
Beyoncé being a virgo makes me believe in magic. And also that there’s hope for some of us yet.
I am a Virgo.
Virgo party!
you guys my partner and I ARE JUST LIKE JAY Z AND BEYONCE! Virgo + Sagittarius but doing fine and also worth millions of dollars and oozing with musical talent ha ha oh wait
Ditto! The people who follow us around noticing how stupendous we are get a little tiring at times, but I can’t blame, them, really.
Now there’s 3 couples like us, it’s proof that Virgo-Sagittarius is actually the secret best pairing that they just don’t like to talk about because they don’t want to make all the others feel bad.
Me: Super Aquarius
Him: Scorpio
I’ve never really had much dealings with Scorpio before now.
My ex was a Cancer. Never again.
Both my significant exes are Aquarius. No middle ground with that combo, I found!
My husband and I are the same! We get along extremely well, but I guess that’s because we have a lot in common.
Are Capricorns compatible with anybody? Because from what I’ve been able to ascertain from my horoscopes over the years, we only care about achieving things, and are basically emotionless robots. (My boyfriend of 3 1/2 years is an Aquarius. I have no idea what that means, really).
I think they are supposed to be compatible with Taurus? I’m a Capricorn but have never dated a Taurus. Most of my good friends are Libras.
My very first boyfriend was a Taurus! Good God was he needy. That might’ve just been him, though, and not representative of the entire sign. I know we are supposed to be awful with our own kind and Leos (as noted in the Obamas example), but never hear who we are supposed to be good with! I had a great relationship with a Cancer, though my Aquarius dude and I are probably more compatible.
[I don’t actually pay attention to astrology, but damned if these guys aren’t absolutely right about this being the slowest of slow weeks]
My current boyfriend is a Capricorn, and he’s mostly typical except for the emotion part. We’re very compatible—I’m technically Aries but am a cusper and identify strongly with Pisces.
http://www.astrology.com.au/astrology/12-signs-of…
Me: super Scorpio
Everyone else: doesn’t matter, we’re not compatible
Also, Henry VIII and Catherine of Aragon were pretty compatible in all regards except babymaking.
There are a lot of unhappy Cancers on that list.
My mom is a Cancer (so am I) and my dad is a Sagittarius; they’ve been married 45 years.
Also, Henry VIII didn’t even *try* to make it work with Anne of Cleves, but I would argue she got the best deal of the 6 wives.
Didn’t Catherine Parr get to marry a very cute much younger man? That’s also pretty good.
I like to hear Sagittarius/Cancer success stories. They make me feel better about my astrologically imprudent match.
She did remarry, but she died before they’d been married 2 years. And she had to put up with Henry when he was old and cranky and fat and dealing with gout and ulcers on his legs and such. Anne of Cleves didn’t even have to consumate the marriage, and she got a nice house out of the deal AND outlived all the other wives (still died at 42 though). They still both ended up better than the ones who got beheaded though
I guess the lesson is “being a queen in 16th century England sucked”.
Oh, but what beautiful things they’ll wear! Oh, the beautiful dresses and hair!
I’m a cancer and the love of my life is a sag. The relationship is bliss.
Yes! I have been searching to see if this is even remotely possible! I wish I knew all about how they managed. Or any advice 🙂
My father=Libra
My mother=Leo
DOOMED from the start… somehow they managed to make it “work” for 30+ years before the Libra cheated. Go figure.
Me=super-Taurus
Best Friend=super-Leo
Should not work but oh boy does it!
My crush doesn’t assign much value to birthdays and won’t tell me exactly what day in January his is, but he is either a Capricorn or Aquarius and I am concerned because apparently the former would be awesome and the latter would self-destruct quickly. I mean, not that astrology is really a thing but argh.
Librans and Leos are actually very compatible.
I always find these things so interesting, even though I give astrology the general side-eye. My partner AND my bestie are Geminis, while I am a Pisces. Apparently that matchup has about a 50/50 chance of success, which is much more accurate with the partner than the bestie (who can do no wrong and is my heroine forever and ever amen).
In my personal school of astrological philosophy, fire signs and earth signs are super complimentary in today’s world. Especially if we’re not using monogamous-until-death-do-us-part as the only measure of a relationship’s success…
Also, consecutive-sign relationships are always worth a go!
And, Liz & Dick were actually Pisces + Scorpio.
Retreating into my Scorpion den now before I embarrass myself further with how deep I am into this.
I’m a Sagittarius and all of the major crushes/loves in my life, including the current beau, have been Leos. Is this a thing?
Sagittarius and Leo are SUPERCOMPATIBLE according to a bunch of sites I (Sag) looked up when I started dating my boyfriend (Leo). We have been dating almost four years and are absurdly in love with each other and get along really, really well.
Yay for Leo bfs! We’re coming up on seven years ourselves. Good to know it’s not just a fluke and the stars are on our side!
As a Sagittarius who’s been with a Leo for over 7 years, I’m saying YES IT IS TRUE, THIS IS THE BEST PAIRING.
My parents were (Dead, not divorced) a Leo/Sagittarius pair too! They were very different but fit in a weird, weird way.
I’m an Aquarius (a “super-Aquarius!” according to my also-Aquarius former roommate) who keeps dating and be-friending Tauri and Arieses (Ariei?) that are frustrating and just no good for me. Ugh. Where’s my Portia or Ellen (but you know, a dude)? Or maybe a nice Capricorn…
I have always liked that my family has birthdays in five signs in a row, though not in birth order. (That would make it INCREDIBLY COOL.) (Where “cool” = “nerdy”.)
OK, I don’t really get this astronomy stuff – I’m a Hyundai, and the girl who walks past my cubicle is a 5th Degree Scorpion. Do you think we can ever make this work? (And by “this”, I mean absolutely nothing whatsoever, since that would be completely inappropriate.)
I follow the birthday party rule of astrology – that is, if your birthday is right by Christmas, everyone not being able to come to your party means OF COURSE you’re a little insecure, ambitious, and independent. Fuck those people and their “family celebrations of holidays”. I’ma put a holiday season in Libra’s month, see how they like it. Don’t get me started on “It’s for your birthday AND Christmas” gifts. That is a terrible thing to do to a child. (Unless it’s a pony.)
If your birthday is in the middle of summer, there’s no reason to invite your entire clique – why not just have a few close friends come over and do awesome and goofy stuff? No wonder Cancers/Virgos are fiercely loyal homebodies – they’ve been quietly encouraged to form super strong relationships.
I have no explanation for Leos.
Liz Taylor is a Pisces, not a Leo.
I'll just be here, cowering in this corner, Libraly. Don't mind me. Please, don't mind me.
I was under the impression that Elizabeth Taylor was a Pisces and Richard Burton was a Scorpio….
My husband and I are the same! We get along extremely well, but I guess that's because we have a lot in common.
I’m a Scorpio and my boyfriend is a Taurus. While we are both very stubborn, we fulfill each other’s emotional needs and it’s very sweet.
I never really “fell” in love with him, though. I never felt butterflies. It took me nearly a year to realize that I loved him. Before him, I was head over heels with my ex who is a Pisces. I was obsessively in love with a Pisces in high school, too.
I'm a Scorpio woman was with a libra for 10years.
With an Aries now, explosive in many respects, (sex, arguments, laughter, energy, make up sex after arguments!) absolutely brilliant!!!
But for some reason, scorpios take cancers for granted, and run over them. Scorpios secretly love challenges. That's why, Leo, Aquarius, taurus, gemini, and Sagittarius, give them a run for their money, and they just have to have them…….
I was with a Capricorn and I’m a Libra and it turned out exactly the way astrology predicted it. DISASTROUS! She was one psycho b#tch.