Perhaps you have seen this: a writer at Fix the Family (which, I’m sorry, is not nearly as good a name as Focus on the Family) has come up with a list of reasons not to send your daughters to college, if you have daughters and were on the fence about letting them go, I suppose. So what’s the deal?
Probably the most controversial and rejected position we have at Fix the Family is that parents should not send their daughters to college. It is even more vehemently opposed than the submission of wives to their husbands. Both of these positions we have are a threat to the trophies of the feminist agenda, so the rejection we receive is always emotionally charged and ends up insulting, since once explained logically, the opposition runs out of substance and is only left to hurl insults and presume and misconstrue this practical wisdom into some chauvinistic evil.
It’s slightly less controversial than their position that wives who are taller than their husbands should slouch until they develop permanent back problems, because as the head of the house, his spine should be the straight ideal to which all other spines aspire. But let’s talk about it! What if you’ve already sent your daughter to college? Is she ruined? Do you need to make a fresh one?
But to distinguish these 2 issues, we are NOT saying that sending a girl to college or women working is a sin. But after looking at the issues we raise, we would challenge anyone to convince us that college for girls is not a near occasion of sin. In order to fore go further discussion (argument) on the issue of college for girls, this article will outline the principal reasons for shunning college for girls…Further, a good working knowledge of the basics for today’s culture and progressive society can be learned in 12 years of school. Politicians say that 12 years is not enough today, but that is because of a failed corrupted education system. Homeschooling parents can educate their children in 12 years.
Like the song says, “Fathers, be good to your daughters/four years of high school are enough. Don’t get crazy.” It’s called Higher Ed, not Higher Esther.
I strongly believe girls and women should be educated, first and foremost in the Catholic faith. If we look COMPREHENSIVELY at the Catholic doctrine, we’ll see very little that promotes a woman working outside the home…College may be necessary for the provider of a family depending on the vocation God is calling them to or for those who are called to the Priesthood, both of which are intended for men.
“Cathy…Cathy, wake up. Wake up.”
“Mmf–what? Who is that? Who’s there?”
“Cathy, it is I, the Lord your God.”
“The Lord my…Oh, my God. Oh, my God.”
“Do not be afraid.”
“All right. All right. I can’t believe this. I–”
“I have a message for you, my child. I love you so much I came all the way from Heaven to tell you something.”
“What is it?”
“I don’t want you to go to college. It’s very important to Me that you don’t go to college.”
“Oh. I see.”
“I just love you too much to see you sign up for freshman orientation, or pick a major, or walk with friends over to the registrar’s office.”
“Right.”
“Is that an acceptance letter on your nightstand?”
“It’s just from Vassar, it’s nothing…[quietly] I’ll throw it out.”
“Well, just remember that I love you very much and that I don’t want you to ever get a diploma.”
“Is there anything else?”
“No. Good night.”
My personal impression is that the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women.
Yes.
Getting a college degree often makes a young lady feel an “obligation” to use it, to make money. Often her husband doesn’t want to see it go to “waste.” So the degree is what actually traps her. Not having a degree frees her to enter into a marriage with proper roles in which her husband will provide for her and their children. Christian marriage by definition does place her in a submissive role to her husband, but no one forces anyone to marry anyone. She should go to the altar with full knowledge of what she’s entering into.
Beca was nervous. Really nervous. Today was her wedding day, whatever that meant. No one was willing to tell her what it meant, and they wouldn’t stop asking her questions. When was your last period? You know what sex is by now, right? Which of these two guys in tuxedos do you like better? Okay, great, the one with the dark hair, then? I’ll tell him. What are you doing at four? Can you come to the church? Do you have any dresses with veils on the top?
“Breathe,” her mother had told her. “In a minute you’ll be walking down the aisle and then you can get married.”
Beca sighed in frustration. “Why won’t anyone tell me what that means?”
Her mother only smiled. “You’ll find out soon enough.”
Today’s society has a very accessible conduit for that ability that is very conducive to family life: homeschooling. Educating and caring for children is the most valuable calling of a married woman and requires accomplished abilities. These are no small matters. But mothers often say they could not stand to be with their children all day. What? Just stop and think about that sad sad statement. If that is the case, why did they have children? In choosing for our daughters, we may need to bring them to awareness of this attitude and direct them toward the single life or to that of a religious sister.
It’s a huge problem that goes all too frequently addressed in our modern, PC-crazy society: mothers running from door to door, screaming “I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH MY CHILDREN ALL DAY” until their neighbors come outside and acknowledge their autonomy. If God didn’t want a mother to keep her children with her all day, he wouldn’t have allowed us as a species to spontaneously develop kangaroo-style pouches in the late 2040s.
A woman needs to have something to provide income in case her husband dies, becomes disabled or leaves her. True. The first 2 issues can and should be resolved with insurance, which is very affordable for young couples who may be vulnerable to these VERY remote possibilities, which is why it is so affordable. A responsible family will have such coverage in place. As for the husband leaving her, the possibility of being left in such a state would make a woman MUCH more careful about the man she decides to marry. Think about it. If you know you’re throwing your COMPLETE trust and future on a man, you’ll want one you can certainly rely on.
If there is one thing you should remember before walking down the aisle, it should be to not marry someone who will leave you, so definitely don’t do that.
I share the common concern addressed to us, again mainly by angry women, that there are so many lazy men in our society. But what mystifies me is why girls continue to marry them and then live to complain about them, along with their parents. So what normally happens with this setup is that those lazy men who are looking for a mother-figure in a wife are very attracted to this responsible, organized, smart woman who has it all together along with a steady paying job with benefits. So if he wants to go to work he can, but if not he can always fall back on her income. Or if he “doesn’t want to have to answer to anyone” he can start his own business, and it doesn’t matter if it fails or succeeds or makes enough income because again she’s there to help.
“Hey, man. It’s Jared. What’s up, bro?”
“Just kicking it chill-style to the max, my dude.”
“Want to grab a video game session at the beer stores?”
“Whoa, my chum. I thought you had to work.”
“Work? That is strictly for those who are suckers, home pan. My wife has a job.”
“Oh dip, for real and for true?”
“Most realness, my dude.”
“Wow.”
“Why should I work when she does? Her $30,000 a year plus minimum benefits (minus dental) are all I need to get my Bugles and my Halo on.”
“Do you mean the video game, or the mark of an angel?”
“The video game Halo, Broseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I don’t care at all about angels now, because of my wife’s job. Let’s go to beers now.”
“Right away.”
Is a degree worth the loss of your daughter’s purity, dignity, and soul? Catholic OB-GYN Dr. Kim Hardey notes that a woman is naturally very observant of a man’s faults as long as she is in a platonic relationship with him. Once she becomes sexually active with him, she releases hormones that mask his faults, and she remains in a dreamy state about him. We can see why God would arrange things in such a way so that when in a proper state of holy matrimony, she would be less sensitive to his faults and thereby less tempted to be critical of him. But before marriage she should be very sensitive to the complete reality of the man she will enter into a lifetime commitment with. It is one thing to advise our daughter of this reality in ordinary situations, but placing her into an environment that will tempt her to lose this barrier is unfair to her.
This hormone is called Dreamatonium, and it is definitely real. You remember how when Pepe Le Pew would see the cat who accidentally got a white stripe painted on her back, little waves of flowers and hearts would overwhelm him until he had to go skipping after her? It’s pretty much like that almost exactly.
She will not learn to be a wife and mother. Nothing that is taught in a college curriculum is geared toward domestic homemaking. On the contrary, it is training in a very masculine role of a professional career. So there becomes a severe inner conflict in a woman when she starts trying to be a homemaker and juggle a career alongside it. Often when a career woman discerns the possibility of giving up her career, she faces the reality that she has had no training in homemaking and often has the thought “What would I do at home all day.”
“Hi, is this–oh, I’m sorry, I must be in the wrong classroom.”
“No, that’s fine. We’re just getting started. Come on in.”
“What…what class is this?”
“It’s Introductory Physics.”
“This isn’t Mothering 204?”
“No, this is Introductory Physics.”
“Is this not the Home Ec building?”
“Oh, you’re looking for Housewifery. That’s on West Campus.”
“Oh, thanks, thanks. Sorry to trouble you.”
“No problem. Have you taken Childbirth Survey yet?”
“No, not yet.”
“Try to get Sanderson. She’s the best.”
Don’t send your daughters to college. School is for chumps, and you’re not in the business of raising chumps.
Tags: college, dads, fathers be good to your daughters, fix the family, i’ve had just about enough of your vassar-bashing young lady
“What would I do at home all day.”
Read The Toast, duh.
It’s what I do.
OH LAWD. Don’t send your girls to college because they might be tempted into premarital sex. I guess with each other, since this doesn’t seem to be a reason enough to keep boys out of college.
But you’re forgetting a core truth to this worldview: the mere presence of female students is a Stumbling Block for our precious young male students, tempting them unerringly into sin.
Because, um, apparently men are possessors of agency in everything except in containing their sexual desires, which become both the responsibility and the burden of women.
But how will you find a husband if you don’t go to Bible College?
At your church youth group, obvs.
You don’t find a husband. You wait in decorative passivity until your husband finds you.
Gotta get that MRS degree, amiright?
What do you mean, “How do YOU find a husband?” You wait until your parents find one for you. You don’t seriously think women should be allowed to pick their own mates, do you?
“My personal impression is that the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women.”
(1) But it’s not below the dignity of nuns? (2) And I guess loss of personal autonomy is *not* below our dignity?
Well, nuns are wedded to Christ, right? And if you look COMPREHENSIVELY at the Catholic doctrine, you’ll see that the King of Kings is well known for his drunken Grand Theft Auto marathons.
I’m lost about the bit where working is below our dignity, but cleaning house and changing diapers is not work and is somehow more dignified.
I was gonna say. Personally, I think that the station best befitting my dignity would involve a nanny, 24-7 cleaning crew (I have a dog, he sheds) and personal servant to bring me cotton candy grapes all day while I lounged about imperiously. Did going to college destroy these dreams forever?
I’d love to see this guy be a full-time homemaker for a week, just to watch how quickly he scurries back to his “undignified” job (as a CPA, according to his site bio).
Broseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat is one of my very favorite brosicals, right up there with Meet Me In St. Brouis and the revival of Les Broserables.
I’m personal to Broklahoma!
Me, I’m partial to Sondheim – Merrily We Bro Along, Sundays in the Park with Bros.
Into the Bros. A Little Bro Music. Sweeny Todd, the Demon Bro of Fleet Street. Bro Show.
…I think I’m done now.
BRO SIDE STORY. Okay, now I’m done.
And moving away from Sondheim, who doesn’t love The Broducers? With the smash hit “Springtime for Reddit”!
Bros & Dolls
God dammit, you beat me at my own game.
I like Bro Frankenstein! And Hello Bro Dolly!
I was going to correct that 2nd one to “Hello Brolly!” but seeing it written out, I think that’s more likely to be a meteorological musical.
Or He-Bro Dolly? Too obvs?
Crazy for Bros
Brolight Express
I can’t read the italicized bit anymore as it is making me violently physically angry. So much hate, such fear of women, so much fucking oppression. It’s too terrifying to even mock.
Sounds to me like someone’s not producing enough Dreamatonium.
Wait a minute. How do you even know how to write that?!? Get thee a husband, sinner!
To be fair, work is BULLSHIT and I wouldn’t inflict it on my worst frenemies. Like voting, or not-being-pregnant.
Not incidentally, the hypothetical women in this scenario are all passive: being sent to college, being trapped by a degree, being disastrously left by husbands. Absence of agency blah blah blah.
Once she becomes sexually active with him, she releases hormones that mask his faults, and she remains in a dreamy state about him.
I might have been wetwired wrong; after establishing sexual contact is when I start noticing he leaves his socks everywhere*. OH NO, should I see a doctor about this?
*edited to add: I am a slob who dates slobs. I leave my socks everywhere and, generally, so have all the men I’ve dated… but I only notice his. Apologies for the resemblance to gender-essentialist “men are slobs” bullshit.
I leave my socks everywhere and it drives him crazy.
I finally figured out why his bother me and mine don’t. I thought it was just because I am THE WORST, but then I realized: I will clean mine up before company comes over but I definitely won’t find all of his — and sometimes he doesn’t, either.
(Also, I am THE WORST.)
p.s., Pepe LePew is straight-up sexually assaulting that cat.
But he’s such a Nice Guy!
I hereby suggest replacing the odious term “friendzone” with “skunkzone.”
Thanks for that Simpsons quote in the tags, Mallory!
Re the hormone thing, it’s kind of interesting how this largely anti-scientific perspective is still influenced enough by the scientific worldview that it has to create some sort of pseudo-science? Like Glenn Beck wearing a blazer and writing on a blackboard.
(Also, I graduated from a Catholic university. As much as I disagree with the Catholic church now, even it (or at least, Pope Francis) doesn’t spout this kind of garbage.)
In case anyone is wondering, Dr. Kim Hardey, Catholic OB-GYN, is a man. In case you were wondering.
I was, actually. Seemed odd to quote a woman with a medical degree in an article about how women shouldn’t get degrees/have careers.
Phyllis Schlafly has made a quite a career out of telling women not to have careers, so clearly reason is not on their side.
yep, definitely googled that!
See, I was all ready to comment on that. You college gals and your googling.
Wait, we get trophies for the feminist agenda?
I am so totally going to make myself a shiny trophy for Promoting The Feminist Agenda. Or maybe a ribbon, so I can wear it on my jacket.
Maybe promoting the feminist agenda is covered under Title IX. Trophies for all!
Merit badges!
I got mine in Shrillness, Castration Practice and Hairy Armpits.
you didn’t get yours yet? *haughty sniff*
Are they like Girl Scout merit badges? Because that would make sense, what with those crazy liberal girl scouts. Welcoming LGBT people! Empowering women! Those preteen HUSSIES.
Our pit hair is our trophy.
I just got my Advanced Misandry badge!
To paraphrase Chris Rock – “Every day I look in the mailbox for my Feminist Agenda prize. NOTHING!”
Man, I remember when I went to the regionals and got my gold in Dickwilting Verbal Technique. That was the proudest day of my life!
Next season, I’m hoping to go to the nationals; I have been working my ass off on Paying My Own Dinner On Dates andSynchronized Swimming In Dudebro Tears.
Laughing/sobbing.
the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women
I mean, yeah, training people who make more money than I do how to do things feels pretty undignified, but certain elements of homemaking/motherhood feel pretty undignified too. How is collating copies between rounds of Candy Crush less dignified than cleaning someone else’s bodily fluids off of your shirt?
I dunno, homemaking is ALSO daily grind, without the satisfaction of getting paid for it, or even having it acknowledged as real work!
All a lady needs to do to avoid marrying a man who eventually leaves her is to use her psychic powers to recognize and avoid him. But of course, using those powers will also result in her being burned as a witch. GOOD LUCK, GIRLS!
Are those women in the picture jumping off a cliff because their no-good lazy husbands who they married in a fit of lust left them and they have no marketable skills with which to support their eight children?
Or maybe: the one on the left, her husband lost his job as a pastor when the economy took a downturn. (That’s my own story.) The one in the middle married a guy who she met in Bible college and he was a good God-fearing Christian and just generally a great guy and wonderful father and then when they’d been married 18 years he said he didn’t want to be married anymore (that happened to one of my best friends). The one on the far right married a wonderful man who made enough that she didn’t have to work until the day he was in an accident and now he’s disabled and can’t work and disability doesn’t pay enough for them and their three children to survive (that’s the story of a family acquaintance).
But they’re not jumping off a cliff, they’re jumping up and down in glee that they had the foresight to go to college and learn marketable skills and stay active in the workplace so they could support their families. And they keep articles like this far, far away from their sons and daughters.
so many triumphant fist-pumps for this comment, what awesome ladies!
Boom.
“Which of these two guys in tuxedos do you like better? Okay, great, the one with the dark hair, then? I’ll tell him.”
Unrelated, but when I was about 5 I went to a really formal wedding where about 7 groomsmen and the groom were all wearing identical tuxes (or at least identical to me, from the back row). And as the bride got to the altar, one by one each groomsman took her hand and BOWED to her, at which point I asked my mom if this was the part of the wedding where she chooses her husband.
“Grabbing a video game session at the beer stores” will henceforth be my default response to all “what are you doing this weekend?”-type inquiries.
I agree! Let’s go to beers now, home pan.
Think about it. Think. About. It.
Just don’t, you know, actually think about it. That’s what college is for.
Mallory, the dude exchange is killing me, for real and for true.
The article reads like a chilling how-to guide for trapping women in abusive marriages.
Truth. I just cackled so loud everyone in the library stared at me and continued to laugh/cry for about five minutes. (and yes… I am the librarian. #settingagoodexample)
My very Catholic parents are terribly concerned that I’m meeting all the wrong types of men while I’m off at college. Little do they know I’m actually meeting all the wrong types of women 😉
Or all the right types.
GOODBYE MULTIPLE DEGREES!! I NEVER NEEDED YOU!!!
I am being made laughed by jokes and cryful with eyejuice! Dear author of slanty writes! I am thought forward but may I to you been offered a cake?! So sorries, so thanks, homeschooling will be done by me to seven children husband will give to me, swaddled all in joy!!
ugh writing in the passive voice is hard, where are the mens to speak for me
I loves you and your writings
stop it you’re tempting me into sin
Just wondering how awesome all these un-college-educated women are gonna be at homeschooling their sons in – for example – high school calculus?
By the way, Nicole (who I know) and Mallory (who I don’t), I am absolutely mad about your glorious, gluten-filled website!! I devour it every single day…
If you read the full article, it explains how homeschooling is FAR SUPERIOR to any school, because of course someone who has never gone to college or had any training in education can excel at teaching multiple high-level subject areas and dealing with any combination of learning styles and difficulties!
Unschooled women will totally understand these words: “Today’s society has a very accessible conduit for that ability that is very conducive to family life”
IF ONLY I HAD GONE TO SCHOOL I MIGHT KNOW WHAT A CONDUIT IS.
Seriously though, this is some scary shit. Slate lied to me about the whole patriarchy death thing.
Also for some reason I now have “Mamas Don’t Let your Babies Grow Up to be Cowboys” in my head.
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be co-eds
Don’t let ’em pick majors and dissertate stuff
Make ’em be wifeys and mommas and such
Mamas, don’t let your babies grow up to be co-eds
They’ll never come home and they’ll choose whom they bone
Even when it’s just fer fun
Co-eds ain’t easy to lead and they’re harder to breed
And they’d rather give you a ‘tude than babies and broods
So I’m going to play along with this numbskullery for one hot minute:
A woman needs to have something to provide income in case her husband dies, becomes disabled or leaves her. True. The first 2 issues can and should be resolved with insurance, which is very affordable for young couples who may be vulnerable to these VERY remote possibilities, which is why it is so affordable. A responsible family will have such coverage in place.
Okay. Let’s say I’m a young girl who accepts this plan to reduce the scope of my life and my education down to a high-school education and unquestioning deference to my beloved. We marry, we have babies, I stay home and rely upon him to work, to handle banking and insurance and all the financial aspects of our life, including insuring his life generously. And then he dies.
And then what? When I was bereaved, navigating everyday life was no picnic, even for an experienced and independent person. I cannot imagine how much harder it gets when your husband and parents — your entire community, really — have been conspiring to shelter you from the practical realities of life outside the home.
Yes, the fact that the entire plan there is “live off insurance money for all time” is laughable. So you’re 30, have 3 kids (maybe at least one is a boy who will presumably need to go to college), and no real skills or job-friendly abilities. Even if you have a generous insurance policy, you’re going to live off it for the rest of your life (say another 50 years)? And raise 3 children with it? And have any idea how to use that money appropriately given that you have no idea how to handle money?
A+ planning, guys. Good thing she didn’t go to college to get corrupted, though. That would be the real tragedy.
Welcome to my dad’s life right now!
My grandfather told my mom not to send me to college because it would turn me into a lesbian. NOT TWO MONTHS LATER I was sitting in an English class, basically sweating through my T-shirt as I watched my hot butch professor wield a laser pointer during a discussion of gender representations in “The Taming of the Shrew.” HE WAS RIGHT.
My grandmother said college make girls “fast”. Since I wasn’t into sports I wasn’t concerned. I went anyway. I had several boyfriends. It was wonderful-exactly what grandma was afraid of.
I’ve never been to The Toast before, but now I want to find the author of this article and be besties with her.
No but really my mother considers me living proof of the dangers of letting your daughters obtain liberal arts educations (eg they will become non-Christians and shack up longterm with intense Italian men but never actually get married).
SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
not all Catholics believe this! I am a reasonable person who (gasp) went to college and (double gasp) actually BECAME CATHOLIC while I was enrolled in college!
As someone pursuing a minor (yes, JUST a minor) in Women’s Studies, I do not appreciate what Fix the Family proposes. However, I also do no appreciate articles such as these which mock the opposition. Being mean is not productive. When those to whom you are opposed take care to create a reasoned argument (no matter how incorrect, and heinous it may seem) it is wrong to respond this way. Debate ought to be civilized.
That assumes that Fix the Family are arguing in good, but honestly mistaken, faith. I don’t accept that. I believe they are being supremely disingenuous and that they can’t possibly believe the nonsense they’re saying, and that they are saying it with malicious intent. In which case they become fair game.
My friend just suggested maybe I’m gay because I’m missing the fault-masking hormone and THAT SEEMS PRETTY LEGIT so I’m going with it from now on.
Given how expensive basics are these days, the guys who make enough to support a wife & kids on their incomes alone tend to be the ones who are highly educated. And few educated men are going to want a wife who doesn’t have a bachelor’s degree or higher. So it seems to me that if you want your daughter to be a SAHM, you should help her earn scholarships to college so that she can get the degree that will make her more attractive to educated men but doesn’t leave her in huge amounts of debt.
That sure is some Devil’s Advocate you’ve got going on right there :/
It's what I do.
This is all pretty gross, but grossest of all is the idea that anyone can “send” their daughter college to begin with, as if college-aged women are not adults capable of making their own decision.
Disgusting. No wonder I had to declared Raylan the Troll of the Month!