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Home: The Toast

Perhaps you have seen this: a writer at Fix the Family (which, I’m sorry, is not nearly as good a name as Focus on the Family) has come up with a list of reasons not to send your daughters to college, if you have daughters and were on the fence about letting them go, I suppose. So what’s the deal?

Probably the most controversial and rejected position we have at Fix the Family is that parents should not send their daughters to college.  It is even more vehemently opposed than the submission of wives to their husbands.  Both of these positions we have are a threat to the trophies of the feminist agenda, so the rejection we receive is always emotionally charged and ends up insulting, since once explained logically, the opposition runs out of substance and is only left to hurl insults and presume and misconstrue this practical wisdom into some chauvinistic evil.

It’s slightly less controversial than their position that wives who are taller than their husbands should slouch until they develop permanent back problems, because as the head of the house, his spine should be the straight ideal to which all other spines aspire. But let’s talk about it! What if you’ve already sent your daughter to college? Is she ruined? Do you need to make a fresh one?

But to distinguish these 2 issues, we are NOT saying that sending a girl to college or women working is a sin.  But after looking at the issues we raise, we would challenge anyone to convince us that college for girls is not a near occasion of sin.  In order to fore go further discussion (argument) on the issue of college for girls, this article will outline the principal reasons for shunning college for girls…Further, a good working knowledge of the basics for today’s culture and progressive society can be learned in 12 years of school.  Politicians say that 12 years is not enough today, but that is because of a failed corrupted education system.  Homeschooling parents can educate their children in 12 years.

Like the song says, “Fathers, be good to your daughters/four years of high school are enough. Don’t get crazy.” It’s called Higher Ed, not Higher Esther.

I strongly believe girls and women should be educated, first and foremost in the Catholic faith.  If we look COMPREHENSIVELY at the Catholic doctrine, we’ll see very little that promotes a woman working outside the home…College may be necessary for the provider of a family depending on the vocation God is calling them to or for those who are called to the Priesthood, both of which are intended for men.

“Cathy…Cathy, wake up. Wake up.”

“Mmf–what? Who is that? Who’s there?”

“Cathy, it is I, the Lord your God.”

“The Lord my…Oh, my God. Oh, my God.”

“Do not be afraid.”

“All right. All right. I can’t believe this. I–”

“I have a message for you, my child. I love you so much I came all the way from Heaven to tell you something.”

“What is it?”

“I don’t want you to go to college. It’s very important to Me that you don’t go to college.”

“Oh. I see.”

“I just love you too much to see you sign up for freshman orientation, or pick a major, or walk with friends over to the registrar’s office.”


“Is that an acceptance letter on your nightstand?”

“It’s just from Vassar, it’s nothing…[quietly] I’ll throw it out.”

“Well, just remember that I love you very much and that I don’t want you to ever get a diploma.”

“Is there anything else?”

“No. Good night.”

My personal impression is that the day-to-day grind of a job is below the dignity of women.


Getting a college degree often makes a young lady feel an “obligation” to use it, to make money.  Often her husband doesn’t want to see it go to “waste.”  So the degree is what actually traps her.  Not having a degree frees her to enter into a marriage with proper roles in which her husband will provide for her and their children.  Christian marriage by definition does place her in a submissive role to her husband, but no one forces anyone to marry anyone.  She should go to the altar with full knowledge of what she’s entering into.

Beca was nervous. Really nervous. Today was her wedding day, whatever that meant. No one was willing to tell her what it meant, and they wouldn’t stop asking her questions. When was your last period? You know what sex is by now, right? Which of these two guys in tuxedos do you like better? Okay, great, the one with the dark hair, then? I’ll tell him. What are you doing at four? Can you come to the church? Do you have any dresses with veils on the top? 

“Breathe,” her mother had told her. “In a minute you’ll be walking down the aisle and then you can get married.”

Beca sighed in frustration. “Why won’t anyone tell me what that means?”

Her mother only smiled. “You’ll find out soon enough.”

Today’s society has a very accessible conduit for that ability that is very conducive to family life:  homeschooling.  Educating and caring for children is the most valuable calling of a married woman and requires accomplished abilities.  These are no small matters.  But mothers often say they could not stand to be with their children all day.  What?  Just stop and think about that sad sad statement.  If that is the case, why did they have children?  In choosing for our daughters, we may need to bring them to awareness of this attitude and direct them toward the single life or to that of a religious sister.

It’s a huge problem that goes all too frequently addressed in our modern, PC-crazy society: mothers running from door to door, screaming “I DON’T WANT TO BE WITH MY CHILDREN ALL DAY” until their neighbors come outside and acknowledge their autonomy. If God didn’t want a mother to keep her children with her all day, he wouldn’t have allowed us as a species to spontaneously develop kangaroo-style pouches in the late 2040s.

A woman needs to have something to provide income in case her husband dies, becomes disabled or leaves her.  True.  The first 2 issues can and should be resolved with insurance, which is very affordable for young couples who may be vulnerable to these VERY remote possibilities, which is why it is so affordable.  A responsible family will have such coverage in place.  As for the husband leaving her, the possibility of being left in such a state would make a woman MUCH more careful about the man she decides to marry.  Think about it.  If you know you’re throwing your COMPLETE trust and future on a man, you’ll want one you can certainly rely on.

If there is one thing you should remember before walking down the aisle, it should be to not marry someone who will leave you, so definitely don’t do that.

I share the common concern addressed to us, again mainly by angry women, that there are so many lazy men in our society.  But what mystifies me is why girls continue to marry them and then live to complain about them, along with their parents.  So what normally happens with this setup is that those lazy men who are looking for a mother-figure in a wife are very attracted to this responsible, organized, smart woman who has it all together along with a steady paying job with benefits.  So if he wants to go to work he can, but if not he can always fall back on her income.  Or if he “doesn’t want to have to answer to anyone” he can start his own business, and it doesn’t matter if it fails or succeeds or makes enough income because again she’s there to help.

“Hey, man. It’s Jared. What’s up, bro?”

“Just kicking it chill-style to the max, my dude.”

“Want to grab a video game session at the beer stores?”

“Whoa, my chum. I thought you had to work.”

“Work? That is strictly for those who are suckers, home pan. My wife has a job.”

“Oh dip, for real and for true?”

“Most realness, my dude.”


“Why should I work when she does? Her $30,000 a year plus minimum benefits (minus dental) are all I need to get my Bugles and my Halo on.”

“Do you mean the video game, or the mark of an angel?”

“The video game Halo, Broseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I don’t care at all about angels now, because of my wife’s job. Let’s go to beers now.”

“Right away.”

Is a degree worth the loss of your daughter’s purity, dignity, and soul?  Catholic OB-GYN Dr. Kim Hardey notes that a woman is naturally very observant of a man’s faults as long as she is in a platonic relationship with him.  Once she becomes sexually active with him, she releases hormones that mask his faults, and she remains in a dreamy state about him.  We can see why God would arrange things in such a way so that when in a proper state of holy matrimony, she would be less sensitive to his faults and thereby less tempted to be critical of him.  But before marriage she should be very sensitive to the complete reality of the man she will enter into a lifetime commitment with.  It is one thing to advise our daughter of this reality in ordinary situations, but placing her into an environment that will tempt her to lose this barrier is unfair to her.

This hormone is called Dreamatonium, and it is definitely real. You remember how when Pepe Le Pew would see the cat who accidentally got a white stripe painted on her back, little waves of flowers and hearts would overwhelm him until he had to go skipping after her? It’s pretty much like that almost exactly.

She will not learn to be a wife and mother.  Nothing that is taught in a college curriculum is geared toward domestic homemaking.  On the contrary, it is training in a very masculine role of a professional career.  So there becomes a severe inner conflict in a woman when she starts trying to be a homemaker and juggle a career alongside it.  Often when a career woman discerns the possibility of giving up her career, she faces the reality that she has had no training in homemaking and often has the thought “What would I do at home all day.”

“Hi, is this–oh, I’m sorry, I must be in the wrong classroom.”

“No, that’s fine. We’re just getting started. Come on in.”

“What…what class is this?”

“It’s Introductory Physics.”

“This isn’t Mothering 204?”

“No, this is Introductory Physics.”

“Is this not the Home Ec building?”

“Oh, you’re looking for Housewifery. That’s on West Campus.”

“Oh, thanks, thanks. Sorry to trouble you.”

“No problem. Have you taken Childbirth Survey yet?”

“No, not yet.”

“Try to get Sanderson. She’s the best.”

Don’t send your daughters to college. School is for chumps, and you’re not in the business of raising chumps.

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