Skeletons in your local pharmacy. Bad horror remakes on TV. “This Is My Costume” t­-shirts at Hot Topic. Let’s face it: the only thing scary about Halloween these days is how commercial it’s gotten. When will goths rise up and take back our holiday?

These days, a plague of indifference has consumed the goth community when it comes to Halloween. Even when I was a wee kindergoth, we had respect for the true meaning of All Hallow’s Eve. It wasn’t all Nightmare Before Christmas screenings and weirding people out at the mall. Sure, it had pagan origins or something, but at least we knew it didn’t belong to the posers in the store­bought witch costumes. Goths these days couldn’t care less about the holiday. They’re more concerned with their Tumblr reblogs and sideways cross jewelry than with protecting the history of their people.

Welcome to the fallout of a post-­Twilight America. The undead teenagers of my generation’s movies were in sexy gangs, while today’s drive SUVs to baseball games. Where goth kids were once respected, or at least ignored, now they’ve become a joke thanks to South Park. Tim Burton’s movies aren’t even watchable anymore. Where did all the goth icons go? We worshipped Winona Ryder and Christina Ricci, but who do these kids have to look up to? The starlets of Pretty Little Liars? Avril Lavigne’s black wedding dress? Taylor Momsen? The devil save us.

It doesn’t help that Hollywood has made a mockery of our culture. Sons of Anarchy proved that wearing all-black, smoking, and reading on rooftops is for biker guys now. How many cool relationships did Marilyn Manson screw up? Even horror isn’t bringing it. Bates Motel, Sleepy Hollow, and American Horror Story raised our hopes, only to dash them time and again with weak plot development and campy acting. The Following had a goddamn Edgar Allen Poe cult, how could that go wrong? But no, they put Kevin Bacon in it and it’s terrible, just terrible. I can’t say it enough: terrible.

I fear that “goth” is becoming nothing more than a fashion trend. Glamour used the word to describe Khloe Kardashian’s dark lipstick, as if that’s all it takes. Mattel stole kindergoth girl style for their Monster High dolls. Rihanna coined the term “ghetto goth” for her new choker­heavy look. Worst of all, repeat offender Katy Perry slapped on goth drag for a freakin’ PopChips ad. Can you think of anyone less tortured than Katy Perry? You don’t wear cupcakes on your tits if you feel the anguish of existence. She must be stopped.

My fellow elder goths, we have only ourselves to blame. It is our job to instill in the youth the values of creativity, non­conformity, and smoking cloves in the woods, and on all three counts we have failed. And if not us, who will sponsor their poetry clubs? Who will frame their black and white photography? Who will help them craft prom dresses from duct tape and garbage bags?

Goths today face more challenges than ever. Last summer, cyber bullies hacked the Bats Day in the Fun Park website, spewing homophobia and anti­-Disney sentiments. The rise of Juggalos and Bronies have given teens tons of new subculture options. Kat Von D exists. As if that weren’t bad enough, Nine Inch Nails put out a new album. It’s great, but people still can’t decide if they’re goth or not, and I’m tired of having that conversation at parties.

Still, there is hope. Today’s goths have resources that we didn’t: namely, the Internet. Online communities have been bastions of darkness for goth leaders. Due to effective online organizing, everyone has recognized May 22nd as World Goth Day. People have met the loves of their lives on Gothic Match, the #1 goth singles site, and to a lesser extent, Goth Passions. The community has become more inclusive with the rise of niche sites like ChristianGoth.com. Most impressively, goth porn has really taken off. I mean, who hasn’t heard of Suicide Girls?

So, what does all of this mean for Halloween? In my day, Halloween was about confronting the realities of death, getting drunk in cemeteries at midnight, and holding séances for Harry Houdini. Am I just an old fool to think it could be that again? I admit that the world has changed, gotten smaller, put a few more Treehouses of Horrors under its belt. I have gotten older, too. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my time on this earth, it’s that goths will survive. To be different is to be strong, and to be strong is to let people know that you will not be mocked, like Trent Reznor when he wears sleeveless shirts.

Goth teens of today, you must go out on Halloween. You must wear your spiky dog collars to your after­school jobs at the Shop­Rite. You must watch Donnie Darko and relate to it deeply. You must lie to Vice Principal Jeffries when he asks who drew the pentagram on your locker, but you must draw that pentagram. And you must

stare down anyone who tries to tell you your identity is just a phase, until they get uncomfortable and ask how school is going.

I write to you now a reluctant but natural leader, like Robin Tunney’s character in The Craft. We must fight to end the commercialization of Halloween, because it is the only way we can survive. If we do not seize Halloween from those that would sell it to us, what is to become of our rich gothic subculture? Why avoid the sun and dye our hair black (red, green, purple)? Why pretend to understand Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari? Why read Poppy Z. Brite over Charlaine Harris? We might as well give up and name our dogs Bella.

I stand here today, a proud gothic American, and I pledge to stand with you and fight. For if we do not reclaim Halloween for goths, then like Bela Lugosi, we are dead.