My ophthalmologist prescribed me glasses when I was in the third grade. For a kid who was already kind of a nerd, my new frames did nothing to help my reputation.
But, I didn’t care. Or, if we’re being completely honest, I just wasn’t aware of what other people thought–obviously, since I chose to sport these large, round monstrosities.
Glasses weren’t quite the fashion statement back then like they are now (and not like that awesome denim outfit I’m wearing). Actually, glasses were probably just as much a fashion statement back then, but I clearly didn’t think of them that way. What I did think about was how to fashionably and practically keep my glasses on my face — because apparently since my oversized frames didn’t already guarantee that I’d be picked last in P.E., I also rocked those Croakies® athletic straps, just to make sure.
In my defense, I was a pretty active child. From ballet to soccer to skiing to getting tickled by my asshole sister, those straps were absolutely necessary to keep my glasses on and for me to see where exactly to kick that jerk in the gut.
Still, with the bug eyes and flamingo print…hm what’s that? Oh I forgot to mention the flamingos?
Sigh. Seriously, Mom. How could you let me leave the house like that?
As I was saying, with the bug eyes and flamingo print screaming “nerd alert” to all my friends, I began to realize what exactly my bad vision was costing me (MY DIGNITY).
Salvation came in the sixth grade when I finally upgraded to contact lenses. But, then I discovered that contacts came with their own set of inconveniences. For example: dry eyes, an extra few minutes tacked on to my already rushed mornings, dust induced lens crinkling in my eye, alcohol induced forgetting-to-remove-contacts-
I’ve lived with impaired vision for most of my life, and I have since gotten used to the everyday hassles of being practically blind. If you’re wondering just how “practically blind” I am, all you have to do is point one hand perpendicular to your face so that your fingers are pointed at your nose. Then, hold up an object where your wrist falls. Ok, you look super cool now.
But seriously, about five inches away from my face is approximately how close I have to place objects in order to see them clearly.
It probably doesn’t surprise you, then, that I’ve been asked many times whether or not I’d ever get laser treatment for my eyes, and I’d be lying if I said I never considered it. Of course! It’d be great if slippers and bad memories were the only fuzzy things in my life. But, the cards have been dealt, and I’m not trading them in for anything.
For one, the idea of a FUCKING LASER BEAM in my eye scares the living shit out of me. Also, my views on vision in general have slightly changed.
I remember a first visit with one of the many ophthalmologists I’ve seen over the years. My doctor asked me what prescription I had been using at the time. I answered him, knowing that even though he’s seen much worse, he’s also seen much better, with the disclaimer, “I know. My eyesight is bad.” And I’ll never forget his response:
“Or good. Depending on how you look at it.”
At that moment, I realized I had been seeing things unclearly this whole time (pun intended!).
It’s just a matter of perspective. I’m near-sighted, meaning I have trouble seeing objects that are (not really that) far away. But MORE IMPORTANTLY, I have a heightened ability to see objects that are very up close. Unlike people with 20/20 vision, my eyesight sharpens when viewing things at a very close, practically microscopic range. Without glasses or contacts, I can easily see tiny details that someone with “perfect” vision could not. Want me to pick out a tiny splinter? Thread a needle with ease? Count how many wrinkles you have around your eyes (none, Mom!)? Not a problem!
Yet, the second I throw those glasses or contacts back on, those objects immediately blur. Plus, I’m left with that dizzy, nauseated feeling that occurs when crossing my eyes to focus on something smack dab in front of my face.
It’s like I have superhero vision the second this Clark Kent takes off her glasses.
So, it got me thinking. What other super-human feats does my near-sightedness lend me?
I know plenty of people who lament the inconveniences of impaired vision, me included. But it’s time we celebrated our (usually thought of as flawed) attribute. And so, I’d like to share with you the little things in my life that make me happy that I can’t always see.
LEGITIMATE FASHION CHOICES
Disclaimer: I love fashion. I may not be the most fashionable person you see walking down the street. I don’t have a (fashion) blog (although, I have written about beauty). But, I keep up with the latest trends and incorporate many of them into my own wardrobe.
So, I have noticed, as I’m sure everyone else has unavoidably noticed as well, that the nerd look is still a prominent trend in the fashion world. Sure, most people associate it with the hipster movement. I’m not here to attack or debate hipsters. But, this guy probably is. And, honestly, I can commiserate.
Well, kind of. I don’t watch Star Trek: TNG. I don’t play Skyrim. I do, however, wear glasses. TO SEE.
Story time!
I once went to a slumber party in middle school where the token mean girl played a prank on everyone. For the most part, she was not creative at all. Freezing bras and dipping our hands into warm water? C’mon, you can do better than that.
But, to me and another near-sighted victim, she rather ingeniously hid our glasses. The next morning, I learned for the first but not last time just how difficult it is to find your glasses when you have no idea where some bitch or drunk-you left them.
These days, I choose from a small collection of frames, depending on my mood or outfit. And, whichever pair I decide to throw on, I feel justified knowing that my glasses contain actual prescription lenses. I have nothing against wearing fake lenses for fashion’s sake. But, as a once-bullied nerd, I’m happy to say I get to wear my geek glasses with pride.
Also, the more glasses I have, the more the chances I have of being able to stumble across one of them in the morning.
SUNGLASSES INDOOR OR AT NIGHT
Kind of like the nerd thing, impaired vision provides an excuse to pull a Corey Hart and wear (prescription) sunglasses at night. Maybe you forgot to pack your regular glasses. Or maybe you lost them. Or maybe you live the glamorous life, you’re always chased by the paparazzi, their flash constantly blinds you, and you just need any kind of shaded prescription lens to see. I can totally relate.
ART
Like anyone with an Instagram account, I think I’m a photographer.
As far as hobbies go, even at my (less than) amateur skill level, photography is great. The mundane easily transforms into high art just by a matter of framing. With photography, you really start to see little things in the world as if through the lens of your phone camera.
And, being near-sighted is like seeing the world with a beautiful, shallow focus.
If you’re not familiar with photography, shallow focus means that a point or section of a photo is very sharp while everything else around that section is very blurry. In photography or film, shallow focus, also known as small depth of field, creates a singular focal point so that the background doesn’t distract the viewer.
Like this super artsy photo. Notice how sharp the gum is and that the trashcans on the sidewalk are very blurry. The artist was obviously making commentary on how we as a society focus on the personal — the narcissistic and selfish joys such as discarding gum without a care to the environment. We trash the world, and we refuse to acknowledge it, leaving it just as a fuzzy afterthought.
Ha! No, I’m totally just kidding. I was just taking a dumb picture of old gum.
Still, I love shots with a shallow focus. So it’s to a huge advantage that I can just take off my glasses, focus on a nearby object, and let my impaired vision blur everything else around it. Just like that, art is at my fingertips. The world is my very own gallery.
HORROR MOVIES
If you’re anything like me, you’re a HUGE WUSS. I hate horror movies, haunted mazes, and pretty much anything that jumps at you out of nowhere like ugh we get it guys you’re in the mood.
If you’re anything like me, you’re also super chill, bro. I mean, whatever. I’m not scared.
I try to play it cool, but it’s next to impossible when someone is out to intentionally scare you. For horror movies, at least, I have mastered a little trick that has come after years of jumpiness, oh and yeah, wearing glasses.
The music is soft but slowly and surely crescendos. The idiot protagonist is about to investigate that strange noise outside even though EVERYONE KNOWS IT’S A TRAP OMG DON’T YOU KNOW SOMETHING BAD’S ABOUT TO HAPPEN?! And there I am, my glasses perfectly positioned so I can watch the unraveling of our hero with the blurry perspective from right above my frames. To anyone who happens to glance my way, it looks like I’m still watching the movie with rapt attention. But really, I get to avoid all the gory details and still get the gist of whatever twisted fate our idiot protagonist has met.
Essentially, I get to cover my eyes without getting made fun of.
PROTECTION
Glasses protect you from things flying in your face like dust, raindrops, and dicks.
Ok, so none of these are really super-human feats. But, just like an unexpected downpour when you’re in desperate need of a carwash or a beautiful sunset when you’re stuck in traffic on the PCH, it’s the little things in life you learn to appreciate.
So, your vision might not be great. You may even be practically blind without corrective lenses. But, the silver lining is always there. You just might have to squint a little to see it.
Tags: charlene cheung, eyesight, glasses, health
Social: Glasses are a perfect way for pickupartists to neg you, meaning you don’t have to waste a second of conversation before they reveal themselves for what they are.
yes! it’s like how every time I come across some guy on the internet explaining how women should make themselves most attractive to dudes, I feel great about my glasses and pixie cut. oh dear, condescending dickweeds won’t hit on me? quelle horreur!
This piece is great, even if it made me flashback to my first few pairs of glasses in second grade. IE, the cheapest glasses for children in the store. Giant pink plastic see-through vaguely rectangular nightmare things that made me look like a tiny, less severe Sally Jessy Raphael. Now somewhere there is a hip young person wearing those glasses and getting scads of compliments. The circle of life, man.
Also, I am also wildly nearsighted and this made that one particular scene in Lord of the Flies involving Piggy EVEN MORE HORRIFYING than that other scene. You know what scenes I’m talking about, don’t make me say it. Very few things terrify me more than not being able to find my glasses/contacts. I shoot straight past worried into Burgess Meredith in that one Twilight Zone episode, with all the wailing.
I am going to latch onto the idea that this is a secret super power, so thanks for that. Do you have to talk to someone who’s face you hate? Take off the glasses! Now they are just a hateable blur of flesh! Sooo much better. Forced into an archery match to win the hand of a prince or princess who eh, you just really aren’t that into? Ditch the glasses and rain arrows down into the crowd of onlookers as a result! Hellooo single life forever!
Aww this was lovely!
I started out like you, your childhood glasses/fashion sense/vision sound exactly like mine, but I ended up absolutely the opposite: hated my glasses, got contacts when I was 16, Lasik in my twenties and never looked back. When I first got my contacts I got caught out in the rain and just turned my face up to the sky, closed my eyes and let the rain fall on my eyelids for the first time in eight years. It was magical and the best.
Same. Although I might have enjoyed glasses more if I had kept them clean – I still remember getting contacts and thinking “Wow! The world without a film of dirt/finger smudges!” And winter was/is magical. I can outside and come back in with zero eyesight-related consequences.
I’m on your team with the Lasik. I had it done a little less than a year ago, and being able to see without something on my face, or wanting to claw the contacts out of my eyes has been the best present I’ve ever given myself. To be able to swim! To drink without risking blindness! Life changing.
Every 5 years or so I try again with contacts, after someone (usually my mom) convinces me that they’re different now, they’ve upgraded the technology or something. I think I’m just going to skip it this year and get some extra glasses so I can wear different ones depending on mood. And maybe some new sunglasses. And fix the scratch in my current glasses that’s been there for three years but it’s at the bottom so I never notice it.
This is me with glasses. Every few years, I decide that I hate contacts and I’m ready to transition back to glasses (especially now that they’re so ON TREND). But, inevitably, they slide down my nose despite professional adjustments, make my face sweaty, or have a weird glare that looks weird in pictures and on sunny days. Also, I freak out about not having good peripheral vision – I always feel like someone is sneaking up on me.
I keep trying contacts every few years too, hoping that the new technology will mean that I can wear them for more than 2 hours without wanting to claw my eyes out. But no. The main problem is that I have to wear one of those weighted ones for astigmatism. Sigh.
Sorry, all context for the article was lost when I got to the picture of Cillian Murphy. I’m sure my comment would have been life changing, but I’ve been hypnotized by the cheekbones.
I was about to post this, but you did it first.
Thank you.
And thank you, Charlene for the pic. I also loved the article!
why do guys i don’t know (it is ALWAYS GUYS) think it’s appropriate to come up to me and say “what do you look like without your glasses?”
WHAT DO YOU THINK I LOOK LIKE WITHOUT MY GLASSES??? what even
i am short-sighted too! also i’ve had the same prescription for about 6 years, and for the first 4 of those years i kept the same grotty glasses. there was nothing as exciting as realising that i could actually just buy new glasses?? and now i have an awesome pair of round tortoiseshell glasses, and a handful of spares. it was so exciting to not just treat them as this thing i had to wear, but as something i actually liked.
I worked in an opticians for a while.
Staff discount on specs.
I still ahve SO MANY nice glasses left over from that. Best thing.
it’s a trick. They want you to talk them off so you don’t realize how ugly they are.
It was so life-changing to get multiple fun glasses. I don’t even know if any of them are better than the pair I had before (no they definitely are) but being able to choose and accessorize somehow makes things even more exciting!
I had that exact same flamingo Croakie for my sunglasses!
I spent two years in a Peace Corps country where almost no one wore glasses ever, so when I would see a guy wearing glasses it would be head-turning for me just because it was so unique. I think I was conditioned by that, because now I see a guy in glasses and I think HOTT!
Hot guys in glasses? Oh yes – http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lpizfuspTq1qdidmi….
The era of cheaper glasses has been a boon for us legally-blind-without-our-glasses.
I am currently considering the cats’ eye frames at Warby Parker.
This comment spurred me to put aside extra money in my FSA for next year for a pair from Warby Parker. I will have choice in which pair to wear!
Go for it! I just bought a pair of the new cat eye frames, and they have changed my life. Honest-to-god hipsters compliment me on my outfits now.
Just FYI those cat eye frames run a skosh narrow – I SO wanted them and then got the try on pair and they were waaaaay to snug on my (normal-sized, I swear!) head. 🙁
Thanks for the heads-up!
Did you find any anywhere else? I’d really like to try some out. I’m not sure if they’ll work–I’m starting to show my age (37) and I don’t want to really, actually look like a schoolmarm.
Has anyone else thought-obviously that this font’s em dashes are a bit too short?
Yes, I love extra-long em dashes and this font’s short em dashes bother me every time.
I’ve been an optician for seven years, and I’m also very nearsighted. I’ve reached a point where I love wearing my glasses and hardly ever wear my contacts anymore. But I’ve also found that my job has turned me into sort of a thrill-seeker when it comes to new frames. I see the same styles all the time, to the point that even the coolest and most fashion-forward frames don’t look very exciting to me. So when I’m looking for a new pair of glasses (which is pretty much always), one of my priorities is that I haven’t seen anything quite like it on anyone else. A dude walked into my store awhile back wanting to order lenses for a frame he’d found somewhere that had one circular lens and one square lens, and I was like, “You are a man after my own heart.”
I’m about as blind as the author and I also have tremendous up-close vision. I never knew these things were related!
Also, every time I consider laser eye surgery I flash back to that Simpsons episode with Ned Flanders in the future. It’s great at first but then your eyes fall out!
I’m about as blind as you and I hate glasses because I miss my peripheral vision terribly! Or maybe my last pair of glasses was just too small? I went with small square frames that were stylish at the time but mostly made me look like a distressed weasel. Before that, I had my ultra-dork 90s giant glasses. I have not bought glasses in some time, is what I’m saying.
I actually have a Warby Parker try-on order supposedly arriving today, so we’ll see. Do other contacts-wearers have trouble switching between contacts and glasses?
For the first 10-15 minutes after I switch between contacts and glasses everything feels a bit funny. My vision is fine but it’s a little…dizzy almost? I don’t know if it’s the addition or loss of peripheral vision or something else. But it’s quick and then I’m fine! It doesn’t interfere with anything, except I prefer not to drive right after swapping out between the two.
Small glasses shouldn’t be too much of a problem if your eyes are reasonably well-centered in the lens, but fit and adjustment are really important – they can’t sit too far away from your face, and they should wrap to the face a little bit. Here’s my other guess: any chance you’re in a polycarbonate lens? Poly is often sold as an upgrade to the basic plastic, because it’s thinner and more impact resistant, but it has comparatively lousy optical quality and not everyone tolerates it very well. Your problems sound like poly problems to me, especially the issue with switching from contacts to glasses. That can happen anyway, to some degree, but it’s usually worse with poly. Go for high index plastic – better optics, and it’s also even thinner and more scratch resistant. The default with Warby Parker is polycarbonate, but it’s $30 to upgrade to high index, and it’s worth it if you have a strong Rx or you’re sensitive to the material. If you’re in a high index and you still have issues, a good adjustment can also make a world of difference.
I love you. I bought my first pair of glasses in a million years last year (contacts everyday all the time) – I tried a pair from Warby Parker and went back and forth with them on prescription a million times, and finally ended up sending them back and getting a pair at my actual opthalmologist’s, and they STILL aren’t right. Things just look weird. Anyway my opthalmologist told me I might be “poly resistant” and that if I wanted I could upgrade materials but that my lenses would cost $300+ instead of $140 (yes, she’s overcharging to begin with) and I just…can’t do that. (I’m a student.) So I’ve just been living with these ball-and-chain $300 glasses that I wear occasionally out of guilt and the feeling that it’s somehow my own fault that I can’t adjust to them. But I had no idea you could upgrade WP’s for only $30 (which I just confirmed on their website)! I’m definitely going to try that the next time I have a little extra cash. Thank you thank you!
I switched to contacts and for the most part love them…but I really do miss that Superman Close-Up Vision. (I keep trying to peer over my lenses to get the really good close-up view…which is possible with glasses, not so much with contacts.) Yep, splinters easier to deal with. Yep, easier to thread needles.
Also, it’s easier to ignore the fact that your house needs dusting if you just take your glasses off. (That used to be my baseline for housekeeping: if I could see issues without my glasses, it was time to clean. Lazy housekeeper, here.)
I hated wearing glasses when it was raining, though; the droplets stick to the lenses and obscure your vision. It’s so nice to just blink the rain out of your eyes.
I know the point of this isn’t for us lasik-having people to go on and on about ourselves, so I’ll keep it short: just go for the initial (FREE) consultation. if they aren’t the nicest, most reassuring people on the planet, I will eat my toque (it’s the only hat I have). don’t let the scary lasers put you off!
My dad, who for his whole life had awful vision, says Lasik is magic and the best money he ever spent, so. I’m not ruling it out in my future. (Not that my eyes are as bad as his.)
Problem is not every procedure is a success, I played hockey with two guys who had LASIK and now their vision is worse that it was before the surgery and there is nothing that can be done to fix it. I also now people who have had it done and are now wearing glasses again because their vision changed and they didn’t have enough cornea to do it again. So not every person comes out a winner and if your a loser than you are screwed!
This is fantastic, and I learned something new – when I was painting miniature models as a kid, it was never hard and I never needed any kind of magnification. Even now I can just see detail _really_ well. I had _no idea_ that might be related to nearsightedness. Thanks!
Contacts just Do Not Work for me. I always get this weird fleck of dust or gunk or something that molds into the center of the contact lens and doesn’t come off with any amount of solution. It happens no matter which brand I use, and whether they’re daily, biweekly, or monthly lenses. My optometrist is baffled by this, and for a while was convinced that I was just getting defective lenses somehow. I’ve just given up and resigned to the fact that my eyes destroy contact lenses.
But, to me and another near-sighted victim, she rather ingeniously hid our glasses.
A literal shiver went through me when I read that.
If my glasses aren’t where I put them at bedtime, I am fucked.
Well, not anymore, because adult me can toddle to the bathroom (which I can find even with my eyes closed), fumble around until I find my contact case, and use my contact-corrected vision to find my glasses. But before I got contacts at 16, a “prank” like moving my glasses would have given me a panic attack.
Indeed, a few years ago when I was out of contacts, I did have a panic attack: I got out of bed one early morning (quietly to let my night-owl partner sleep in), put my hand unerringly out to the shelf where my glasses should be, and… nothing. Just The Fella’s glasses, not mine.
After a timeless stretch of silent, grasping panic, I had to wake him up so he could put on his glasses to find mine.
Turns out he had moved mine to a less precarious spot. Since he can find his glasses without his glasses, it never occurred to him that he was violating my prime directive: DO NOT MOVE MY GLASSES.
10,000 nerd points bestowed unto you for referencing the prime directive.
my work-around for this is to always keep my *last* pair of glasses in the same predictable spot, in my case on the dresser in the same pretty box that holds my diva cup, so that when the cat or the manpanion (or drunk me) hides my glasses, i can bee-line to the previous pair and find the newer ones.
of course, this means i sometimes give up or accidentally get distracted and leave the house in my old glasses, which means i basically need to ask the nearest boy scout (or starfleet acting ensign) to help me cross streets :/
I had no idea that my near-sightedness meant I had super close up vision! I can’t wait to lord that over people with 20/20 vision.
I am also near sighted but I don’t think I have this magical gift for seeing detail better either. 🙁
But it does mean that the best prank I can play on someone is to get them to put on my glasses, because they will wind up with a headache.
my glasses have seriously saved me from eye injury! I am pretty accident-prone, and once upon a time I tripped and fell face-first into the corner of my pet rabbit’s cage and I ended up with a big scratch on one lens from the corner. I was so glad the scratch was on my glasses and not my eye!
these days they’re also useful for masking the perpetual dark circles under my eyes because I have given up forever on being someone who uses makeup regularly. it’s just not gonna happen.
Samesies with using glasses to camouflage the dark circles under my eyes!
My focus point is about an inch in front of my nose which makes me cross-eyed, so I have to close one eye to gain my superpowers, but I’m still everyone’s go-to splinter-taker-outer & needle-threader. I do wish my eyes were just a little better though because none of the cheap & cute online stores offer my prescription so I’m stuck with the usual suspects at the ophthalmologist’s.
Could you buy just the frames and get the ophthalmologist to put in the lenses? When I got new glasses a few years ago, my place offered to just pop out the lenses and replace them with my new prescription.
I have considered Lasik, but (in addition to being scared off by some family members’ horrible experiences with it) I think I’d miss my glasses. They hide the bags under my eyes, I look instantly more put-together, and I’ve worked them into my flirting regime. The only thing I really don’t like about them is that I can’t buy cheap sunglasses unless I’ve planned for it and put in my horrid contact lenses
I got the laser surgery and it ruled
IT RULED
I EVEN GOT AN EYE INFECTION FOR LIKE A MONTH AND IT WAS STILL WORTH IT EVERYBODY GET IT
team lasers! Now my eyes are better than perfect! Science!
I got it too. Four and a half years later, it is STILL THE BEST. My eyes were sensitive for a little while afterwards but not much to speak of. Every time I pack for a trip or go camping or swimming or have to get up in the middle of the night to do something, my heart does a little dance of thankfulness for that surgery.
I have always thought that I was such a natural bookworm because of my nearsightedness. I read without my glasses on and the text is in super-sharp focus and the world around me literally fades away. Also when I was in middle school, I used to feel sort of hidden behind my glasses, like I was wearing a mask, and it made me less self-conscious walking through the hallway.
Another big glasses benefit for me is that when I take them off and everything’s fuzzy, it tells my brain I’m getting ready to go to sleep. I think I’d miss the in-between world!
I love glasses, which I’ve had for about 20 years (!!!). The thing about contacts and lasik surgery… YOU ARE PUTTING THINGS UNDER YOUR EYELIDS, and LASIK IS LASERS IN YOUR EYES. My vision may be terrible, but I refuse accept that these are somehow better alternatives to glasses.
This article is practically written in my voice, I love it!
I can’t wear contacts. CANNOT. I tried them, before my lagopthalmos was diagnosed, and they hurt. Those two things are related, because contacts dry out your eyes, and what I did not at that time realize was that my eyelids don’t close when I sleep, resulting in near-constant dry eyes. (Yes, I sleep with my eyes open. It’s exactly as freaky to someone who doesn’t realize I do that as you think it is.) I put contacts in and it felt like someone was dragging fire across my corneas. I’m also not a LASIK candidate for this reason, but honestly I think lasers in my frickin eyeballs is deterrent enough.
I now feel very attached to my glasses. I like how I look in them. I need more frames though – for years I’ve just had plain old boring wire-rims because my mom always told me that fanciful or dramatic frames detract from my face. She’s also the woman who taught me that the entire purpose of makeup is to look as though you have none on, to which I indignantly asked why even bother wearing it then?
I also really like wearing glasses. I’ve worn glasses since I was two years old, so it would feel strange not to have them. When I take them off, I tend to poke myself in the face trying to push up glasses that aren’t there. And I really hate the alternatives.
My mom tried to make me get contacts when I was in high school, even though I wasn’t at all interested. The optician told her that contacts were probably not for me after it took her 15 minutes to put in a single contact lens and 5 minutes to remove it. I couldn’t help flinching.
LASIK freaks me out, especially since my optometrists have not been super honest about it. My childhood optometrist was VERY enthusiastic about LASIK and said I should have it done as soon as I was old enough (my mom said that if it could be done before I turned 18, she would force me to).* When he retired, my new optometrist said that LASIK would be an option, but that they’d have to be super careful not to give me double vision (!!!).
* My mom was not as insanely controlling as this comment makes her sound. She was just very determined to fix everything she thought was wrong and couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t want to get everything fixed.
I like wearing glasses but am probably going to get lasik eventually b/c I do outdoors sports and am constantly worried about losing or breaking them, or else fighting them fogging up. Contacts I can do for short periods but they also are a hassle in a outdoors (read: full of dirt) environment.
I too chose round glasses in 3rd grade. I picked them out and everything. Then I KEPT picking them out until 10th grade. TENTH. GRADE. I guess my mom was doing some sort of “be yourself” parenting but she could have taken me aside and said “your glasses are hella lame. And when the Harry Potter movies come out and warner brothers puts Harry in glasses similar to yours, THEY’RE ALL GOING TO LAUGH AT YOU!”
I solved the near-sighted/far-sighted problem by being near-sighted in one eye and far-sighted in the other. Woot party! {squints}
Also for some reason my mother let me pick out these GIANT red plastic frames in sixth grade that looked exactly like what Sally Jessy Raphael wore on her talk show. In 1992 not even my own MOTHER could save me from bad style.
I'm on your team with the Lasik. I had it done a little less than a year ago, and being able to see without something on my face, or wanting to claw the contacts out of my eyes has been the best present I've ever given myself. To be able to swim! To drink without risking blindness! Life changing.
team lasers! Now my eyes are better than perfect! Science!
More: a.) Babies like you cuz you are shiny; b.) More people ask you for directions at train station c.) Bird poop windshield; d.) Keep eyeballs safer during knife fights. (No. 1 Toast Fan/Eyeglass Wearer)
Having had glasses since I was 8, when I got contacts in high school I was like, “I WILL NEVER WEAR GLASSES AGAIN! CONTACTS EVERYDAY FOREVER!” but ever since turning 27 I basically wear my glasses every day, only putting in contacts to put onions (invisible onion force field!) or watch 3D movies. Glasses are just so comfy compared to contacts!
I had glasses since I was seven, and my eyes just got progressively worse from there. Never tried out contacts because I’m deathly afraid of sticking things into my eyes–nope, nope, no thanks. Now I have glasses about as thick as the bottom of a beer bottle and have to put my face a literal handspan away from the computer monitor to read without them, and I have yet to find anyone with smaller hands than me! But at least all the wrinkles on that hand look really cool!
Other benefits of having glasses:
-Inflicting pain on unsuspecting glasses-exchangers
-Doing the best labwork when they’re off
-Pulling attention away from my giant, flat, asian nose (no, I’m not insecure about that. Not at all. Why do you ask?)
Also, may that token mean girl be cursed with extreme nearsighted-ness for a day 🙁 If my glasses disappeared, I would be so completely fucked. No contacts, and my backup pair is 400 miles away. (Planning ahead? What is that?) I think I’d spend the next few days tripping over everything and accidentally shoving food up my nose instead of my mouth 🙁
Glasses also protect your eyes from umbrella spokes. Hoorah for eye shields! Boo for umbrellas!
I loved this piece!
I had always wanted to wear glasses and couldn’t wait to get them when I found out I was nearsighted and had astigmatism when I was in the 9th grade! Once I got them I found out that I really loved wearing them and they actually completed who I was. They helped me overcome my shyness and become a more confident person and one of my eye doctors told me it was because I was able to subconsciously hide behind them and I tend to believe him. I have always loved how I could see things with such great detail up close and the older i get the more I appreciate it and friends my age are actually envious of me when I take off my glasses to look at something up close and they have to put on their glasses just to see it and can’t see it with the detail I can with just my naked eye! I also did contacts for a brief period of time but they weren’t for me and I couldn’t wait to go back to wearing my glasses!
So that’s why I can see tiny things close up very well when I don’t have my contacts in?! Because I’m super fuckin’ near sighted?? TIL.
I’m leery of a laser beam in my eye as well, I’ll stick with my contacts and accessorize with cute glasses, thanks.
And what about Christmas lights!!! Ok, for those of you normal nearsighties out there, they might not be such a big deal, but I have one nearsighted and one close-to-regular eye, so when I go to somewhere that’s going to have a lot of lights, I leave off my glasses and – BAM – every light has a soft hazy glow about it, kind of like terrible soft-focus 80’s fantasy series covers with unicorns and flowing hair and jewel tones. I would imagine if your myopia still lets you walk around, you’d get a similar effect except without the pinpoint of light at the center of each blur. Either way – try it with one contact in and one out and you’ll get my view, it’s amaaaaaazing! Works on stars too.