Kendraaaaa! These are so perfect. The nonchalant farter is my favorite.
mbculver+8
My husband likes to tease me and say “The girls’ farts smell like FLOWERS.” But I just take that as fact and move on.
waterbears28+14
My dad literally did not know women farted until he was 36 years old.
He’d been married twice at that point.
emily_white+83
Girl Tip #12 sounds a lot like Dad Tip #1 in my family. (See also: “a brownie” is however large you want to cut it, “a piece of cake” is what’s left after you cut slices for the other three people at the table, “a glass of wine” is however much wine ends up in that glass before you wash it.)
miprisci+80
If you never actually reach the bottom of the glass, it’s still the same glass!
robot_dinosaur+4
I’m going to take advantage of this tonight.
AmazingSandwich+19
Yup, “one thing.”
Echolocation+19
“How much do you drink per week?” “One.” “One drink?” “One shelf.”
naglayaxuliganka+25
Number ten hits close to home. I was once walking in a blizzard with about three layers of pants, a sweatshirt underneath a bulky jacket, a hat and the hood pulled up over the hat and I STILL catcalled on the three-block walk to the bank. RAGE.
Owl Queen+49
Loose Jeans, knee length coat, big scarf, wooly hat. You could barely tell I was female. Yet… still.
It’s not about what you wear. It’s about being a woman in a public place.
jhsaxena+38
Omg how can guys comment on my boobs they are under 5 layers of wool and down coat.
Owl Queen+39
Somehow they manage. ‘Hey, nice tits! I mean, theoretically they’re there, even though all I can see of your body is that it exists, but I’m just gonna IMAGINE that they’re nice. Nice tits, love.”
EPWordsnatcher+51
“See, I’m ASSUMING you have nice tits! Even if you don’t! Jeez, lady, can’t you take a compliment?”
rkfire+95
Schroedinger’s tits. Hahahaha.
elsamac+38
“WOOO HOOOO nice presumed-female presence in a presumed-male world, baby! I LIKE HOW YOU SHAKE THAT 51% OF THE POPULATION!”
Owl Queen+34
The farter is me
‘Was that you? What the FUCK?’
‘It was the cat’.
icebergmama+90
there is a paper mill that uses sulphur here so sometimes we are like *narrows eyes* “was that YOU, or the town?”
angryporcupine+12
The town! Ahahahaha.
mbculver+29
Town Farting: An Even Better Excuse than a Pet, by Iceberg. 😉
pamplemoussi+4
Omg when our power was out for a few days and everything went bad in our fridge, I kept trying to blame the lingering food-gone-bad smells. Haha.
turanga_leela+5
‘It was the dog’
dakimel+9
My dog is so reliable in this regard. Of course, she’s also got the power to send the entire household into the furthest reaches of the abode to escape her farts, so it’s not exactly a win-win.
mkpatter+8
This is like, half the reason I have a dog.
angryporcupine+16
It’s ALWAYS the cat. And in a hilarious twist, when it is a cat it is always the tiny lady cat, not her big doofy brother. I like to imagine they have similar exchanges to the second panel.
Owl Queen+22
Actual cat farts are so vile though
Sometimes the fatter of my two cats jumps up on my lap jsut to fart, and then she leaves me in this cloud of her ‘i-eat-whatever-i-find-on-the-floor’ stink.
mbculver+7
Omg, my dog’s farts could level a giant at 20 paces. And there’s never any warning – they’re always SBDs.
elsamac+21
“We don’t have a cat.”
“… and your point?”
brookshelley+10
It’s the worst when it *is* actually my old cat – but then my date/girlfriend or w/e is giving me a “suuuuuure” look. Top tip, always date someone who is also sensitive to lactose or something so you have parity.
littlehuntingcreek+72
Was once catcalled while walking slightly ahead of my husband, as he was dealing with his keys. He heard the man, and said HEY that’s rude; that’s my wife! and the catcaller apologized to HIM! Not to ME. WT…! MEN!
anon210+40
I’ve wondered what exactly is behind that phenomenon that women walking with men generally don’t get catcalled. Do the street harassers literally look at it as though the woman is someone else’s property, or does it somehow ruin the illusion for them that their harassment could lead to a positive response, or do they fear worry that the man will attack them, or what?
jhsaxena+43
I hate that! Or at a bar if some guy is hitting on me the only way I’ll be able to send him off is if I say I’m engaged. Because repeated “I’m just not interested”s are not enough, I have to be “spoken for.”
plspassthePinot+34
THIS. You can’t even say you’re a lesbian bc then it becomes a Challenge.
icebergmama+35
I think it’s property rights. BUT when I used to get harassed, if he wasn’t actually THERE with me very occasionally one would still be like “would he mind…?”
angryporcupine+31
Corner Store Guy who always calls me “baby” and “princess” and tells me it makes his day to see me barely even addresses me when I’m with my boyfriend. And he calls my boyfriend “sir”. AARGHBLARGH
naglayaxuliganka+30
None of those options makes me feel good about being a woman.
Beaner+9
the two times i got my ass grabbed where both when i was walking with (and behind, because we were walking single file through a crowd) a guy. i think the harassers got off on this feeling that they were “stealing” a piece of another guy’s “female property” behind his back? so messed up.
Mayati+1
A and C. Plus, it would just be RUDE.
elsamac+50
“Hello, ma’am. Just wondering: are you some man’s chattel, or are you available for me to comment on your ass?”
ArsenioB_Ham+34
Kendra, please draw me some hair like the girl in #11. Doesn’t have to be yellow, just luscious and curly like that gal’s.
logicbutton+35
I’d be smiling too if my farts could make a hairgelled suit-dude’s eyes point in different directions.
prost+21
I like how hairgel suitdude doesn’t even get a mouth, much less a nose.
Now I am pondering the depth of meaning of a comic about farts starring noseless people.
leider_hosen+8
GOD, the winter clothes thing. RAAAAAGE.
anachronistique+10
THAT LAST PANEL. I wanna be friends with BOTH those ladies. (And yes. ONE THING. ALL FOR ME.)
dakimel+11
I had a ‘thing’ of ice cream last night, and a ‘thing’ of thin mints for lunch. Serving size = container size is my motto.
elsamac+16
I just noticed the other day that I make an announcement when I indulge in one of life’s great pleasures: “I am going to sit here and eat ice cream out of the carton with an iced-tea spoon, like Nature intended.” I think the statement gives me as much pleasure as the ice cream.
… nope, that’s a lie.
Elsa is Emily
"Hello, ma'am. Just wondering: are you some man's chattel, or are you available for me to comment on your ass?"
Elsa is Emily
I just noticed the other day that I make an announcement when I indulge in one of life's great pleasures: "I am going to sit here and eat ice cream out of the carton with an iced-tea spoon, like Nature intended." I think the statement gives me as much pleasure as the ice cream.
Kendraaaaa! These are so perfect. The nonchalant farter is my favorite.
My husband likes to tease me and say “The girls’ farts smell like FLOWERS.” But I just take that as fact and move on.
My dad literally did not know women farted until he was 36 years old.
He’d been married twice at that point.
Girl Tip #12 sounds a lot like Dad Tip #1 in my family. (See also: “a brownie” is however large you want to cut it, “a piece of cake” is what’s left after you cut slices for the other three people at the table, “a glass of wine” is however much wine ends up in that glass before you wash it.)
If you never actually reach the bottom of the glass, it’s still the same glass!
I’m going to take advantage of this tonight.
Yup, “one thing.”
“How much do you drink per week?”
“One.”
“One drink?”
“One shelf.”
Number ten hits close to home. I was once walking in a blizzard with about three layers of pants, a sweatshirt underneath a bulky jacket, a hat and the hood pulled up over the hat and I STILL catcalled on the three-block walk to the bank. RAGE.
Loose Jeans, knee length coat, big scarf, wooly hat. You could barely tell I was female. Yet… still.
It’s not about what you wear. It’s about being a woman in a public place.
Omg how can guys comment on my boobs they are under 5 layers of wool and down coat.
Somehow they manage. ‘Hey, nice tits! I mean, theoretically they’re there, even though all I can see of your body is that it exists, but I’m just gonna IMAGINE that they’re nice. Nice tits, love.”
“See, I’m ASSUMING you have nice tits! Even if you don’t! Jeez, lady, can’t you take a compliment?”
Schroedinger’s tits. Hahahaha.
“WOOO HOOOO nice presumed-female presence in a presumed-male world, baby! I LIKE HOW YOU SHAKE THAT 51% OF THE POPULATION!”
The farter is me
‘Was that you? What the FUCK?’
‘It was the cat’.
there is a paper mill that uses sulphur here so sometimes we are like *narrows eyes* “was that YOU, or the town?”
The town! Ahahahaha.
Town Farting: An Even Better Excuse than a Pet, by Iceberg. 😉
Omg when our power was out for a few days and everything went bad in our fridge, I kept trying to blame the lingering food-gone-bad smells. Haha.
‘It was the dog’
My dog is so reliable in this regard. Of course, she’s also got the power to send the entire household into the furthest reaches of the abode to escape her farts, so it’s not exactly a win-win.
This is like, half the reason I have a dog.
It’s ALWAYS the cat. And in a hilarious twist, when it is a cat it is always the tiny lady cat, not her big doofy brother. I like to imagine they have similar exchanges to the second panel.
Actual cat farts are so vile though
Sometimes the fatter of my two cats jumps up on my lap jsut to fart, and then she leaves me in this cloud of her ‘i-eat-whatever-i-find-on-the-floor’ stink.
Omg, my dog’s farts could level a giant at 20 paces. And there’s never any warning – they’re always SBDs.
“We don’t have a cat.”
“… and your point?”
It’s the worst when it *is* actually my old cat – but then my date/girlfriend or w/e is giving me a “suuuuuure” look. Top tip, always date someone who is also sensitive to lactose or something so you have parity.
Was once catcalled while walking slightly ahead of my husband, as he was dealing with his keys. He heard the man, and said HEY that’s rude; that’s my wife! and the catcaller apologized to HIM! Not to ME. WT…! MEN!
I’ve wondered what exactly is behind that phenomenon that women walking with men generally don’t get catcalled. Do the street harassers literally look at it as though the woman is someone else’s property, or does it somehow ruin the illusion for them that their harassment could lead to a positive response, or do they fear worry that the man will attack them, or what?
I hate that! Or at a bar if some guy is hitting on me the only way I’ll be able to send him off is if I say I’m engaged. Because repeated “I’m just not interested”s are not enough, I have to be “spoken for.”
THIS. You can’t even say you’re a lesbian bc then it becomes a Challenge.
I think it’s property rights. BUT when I used to get harassed, if he wasn’t actually THERE with me very occasionally one would still be like “would he mind…?”
Corner Store Guy who always calls me “baby” and “princess” and tells me it makes his day to see me barely even addresses me when I’m with my boyfriend. And he calls my boyfriend “sir”. AARGHBLARGH
None of those options makes me feel good about being a woman.
the two times i got my ass grabbed where both when i was walking with (and behind, because we were walking single file through a crowd) a guy. i think the harassers got off on this feeling that they were “stealing” a piece of another guy’s “female property” behind his back? so messed up.
A and C. Plus, it would just be RUDE.
“Hello, ma’am. Just wondering: are you some man’s chattel, or are you available for me to comment on your ass?”
Kendra, please draw me some hair like the girl in #11. Doesn’t have to be yellow, just luscious and curly like that gal’s.
I’d be smiling too if my farts could make a hairgelled suit-dude’s eyes point in different directions.
I like how hairgel suitdude doesn’t even get a mouth, much less a nose.
Now I am pondering the depth of meaning of a comic about farts starring noseless people.
GOD, the winter clothes thing. RAAAAAGE.
THAT LAST PANEL. I wanna be friends with BOTH those ladies. (And yes. ONE THING. ALL FOR ME.)
I had a ‘thing’ of ice cream last night, and a ‘thing’ of thin mints for lunch. Serving size = container size is my motto.
I just noticed the other day that I make an announcement when I indulge in one of life’s great pleasures: “I am going to sit here and eat ice cream out of the carton with an iced-tea spoon, like Nature intended.” I think the statement gives me as much pleasure as the ice cream.
… nope, that’s a lie.
"Hello, ma'am. Just wondering: are you some man's chattel, or are you available for me to comment on your ass?"
I just noticed the other day that I make an announcement when I indulge in one of life's great pleasures: "I am going to sit here and eat ice cream out of the carton with an iced-tea spoon, like Nature intended." I think the statement gives me as much pleasure as the ice cream.
… nope, that's a lie.
As it turns out, Meredith Gran actually did the first joke before me and did it way better, so credit to her for that one! http://www.octopuspie.com/2011-01-06/428-white-wi…
This is like, half the reason I have a dog.
More, more, more of these. Please?