“We’re Fine Here, How Are You?” Normal Moments In Art History Where No One Is About To Get Murdered -The Toast

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hi hi what are you doing i’m very normal and you can trust me

you should trust me

start trusting me right now ok


hiiiiii hey 

what’s up what are you doing 

you should come over 

you should come over and hang out with us definitely

we could drink stuff out of vials together or whatever


hi come over and hang out with us 

we won’t drown you at all 

i dont even know the first thing about drowning so i definitely couldn’t drown you 

look at how much we’re not drowning right now

come over and trust us


heyy hi again hi guys 

we thought we’d just come over to you 

see what’s up

cool boat this is a super cool boat, what is it, like a sailboat

like a boat for sailing in? 

awesome, awesome 

you know what you should come see though 

is the ocean

come on we’ll show you it’s very cool, super breathable


what dead girl 

i don’t even know what you mean 

this girl was here when we got here

she wanted us to stand on her

yeah that was like all she could talk about 

“please stand on me”

so don’t worry it’s very normal what we’re doing here


yeah so just drink out of this cup and then something will happen after that i guess


no come on in i’m not busy 

or i was busy but i’m finished now 

or i mean i will be finished in just a minute 

you can take off your coat and sense of foreboding if you want




hey guys hey come on in just come right on in i’m so glad you’re here by yourselves just the two of you 

we’re going to have such a good normal time in this cave together 


haha you keep saying that word and i’m like 

i don’t even know what drowning is! 

how do you even say it, droneing? drawning? 

just come in the water and you’ll find out some things


hi hey hi i like you 

yeah you i like you your face is good 

stop being on the land so much come be with me 

i can help you breathe under water 

none of my boyfriends are riverbank corpses if that’s what you’re worried about


come in i have no plans to turn you into an animal 

i have to be telling the truth 

see how many men turned into animals i already own???

like why would i need more

my turning men into animal servant days are over swear to god


i don’t know how that snake skin got there but don’t worry about it just keep looking into my eyes and trusting me as hard as you can okay baby??



come over

come over and we’ll do something really fun with your body

fun and normal of course!!

fun but just as importantly, very normal, very regular things

you’ll be able to keep all of your skin

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