The Misandrist’s Prayer -The Toast

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prayerPreviously: Misandrist lullabies.

“May men offer themselves to me —
to build with and to do with as I will.
Relieve them of the bondage of self,
that they may better do my will.
Take away their personalities,
that victory over them may bear witness to men I would help
of my power, my love, and my way of life.
May they do my will always.”


“This is my male. There are many like it, but this one is mine.
I am my male’s best friend. I am its life.
I must master it as I must master my life.
My male, without me, is useless.
Without my male, I am unchanged.

My male is human, because I am its life.
Thus, I will learn its weaknesses, its strength, its parts, its accessories, its sights and its barrel.
I will keep my male clean and ready, even as I am clean and ready.
It will become a part of me.
Before God, I swear this creed.”


“I am now willing that I should have all of men,
good & bad.
I pray that you now remove from them
every single defect of character which stands in the way of their usefulness to me
Grant me strength to master them,
as they go out from here to do my bidding.”


“May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you,
and be gracious to you.
May the Lord lift up hir countenance upon you,
and give you peace.
May the Lord grant you feminism in theory
and lesbianism in practice.”


“Lord, make me an instrument of female domination;
where there is maleness, let me sow femaleness;
where there are men talking, men silent;
where there are men smiling, men cowering;
where there are men hopeful, men suppliant;
where there are men going to work, men sitting quietly;
and where there is male sadness, female joy.”


“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want him.
I require no shepherd.
The keeping of female animals for male profit is a practice that has no place in the new world order.”


“Women with me, women before me, women behind me,
Women in me, women beneath me, women above me,
Women on my right, women on my left,
Women where I lie, women where I sit, women where I arise,
Women in the heart of everyone who thinks of me,
Women in the mouth of every one who speaks to me,
Women in every eye that sees me,
Women in every ear that hears me.
Salvation comes from women.
Salvation is of women.
May female salvation be ever with us.”


“Now I lay men down to sleep,
I pray the Lord will keep them sleeping.
May they never wake.
May they become the dream,
May I become reality.”


“Our Father,
Who art in heaven,
Stay there.”


“May the road rise up to meet you.
May men be always at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face;
the rains fall soft upon your fields
and until we meet again,
may you see a man beaten to a bloody pulp
with a high-heel shoved in his mouth,
like an apple in the mouth of a pig.”


“God grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
Courage to ride the men I can like a pony;
And wisdom to know the difference.”


“Hail Mary, full of grace.
Blessed art thou amongst women,
and all women are blessed.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
The phallic malady is epidemic and systemic
Each individual male in the patriarchy is aware of his relative power in the scheme of things…
He knows that his actions are supported by the twin pillars of the State of man – the brotherhood ritual of political exigency and the brotherhood ritual of a sexual thrill in dominance.
He is a devotee of Thanatos,
rid us of him.”

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