THE DAD MAGAZINE OFFICIAL 2014 HOLIDAY GIFT GUIDE: YOU ASKED FOR IT, WE THINK
Pack of 12 Dinty Moore Beef Stew Cans – An excellent choice, indeed.
Men’s Electric Back Hair Shaver – Just as much a gift for Mom, whose weary work is now done.
Eagle Creek Silk Undercover Money Belt – Like a fanny pack…with a secret!
Mesquite Wood Pellets – For the Dad who has everything, except for rich and smoky flavors.
Patagonia Synchilla Snap-T Fleece Top – Smart and stylish. Comes in four colors, not like it matters.
Wireless Lamborghini Computer Mouse – Almost like the real thing! We can’t find a Dad who won’t get revved up over this one.
Long Train Runnin’ – The Doobie Brothers Box Set 1970-2000 – For the Dad who KNOWS their later stuff is totally underrated.
Tags: dad magazine, dads, jaya saxena, matt lubchansky
FYI, this is my dad.
What does the character on his shirt mean? I want it to just mean “DAD”
Dear lord I hope so, but I can guarantee you he doesn’t know.
Now that you mention this I’ve never seen him buy a tshirt.
i am telling you with 100% certainty that i left that exact shirt at a goodwill in michigan in 2002. i wore it all through high school. i have no idea what it says.
I’m super late to this, but I’m pretty sure it means “Love”, although it would make me cackle evilly if a bunch of people just got “Dad” tattooed on themselves.
But, really, he’s all our dad.
Landlines!
My dad just got his first smartphone. He has learned to text. I am absolutely boggled by this.
My dad is actually pretty good about his cell phone, but if I have to reach my mom, I always call the landline first. She answers her cell phone maybe 40% of the time.
My mom answers 80% of my calls to her cell after 6pm with “Why aren’t you calling the landline?”
Mine too.
My mom keeps her cell phone off at all times. Because if she turns it on, people might call her on it.
This is aggravating when I’m trying to pick her up at the airport, and the airline has dropped her someplace random.
Just today my husband and I were sitting with my parents, yelling at the Penguins, and throughout the entire game I could hear mom’s cell phone making the “new text” noise. Could she not hear it, or didn’t she care?!?! I have no idea because then my husband left the room and then
Pens scored twice, which totally derailed my concern about her texts.
But seriously that drove me nuts. Whyyyy arghhhhhhh.
I had to nag both of my parents to set up their voicemail on their cell phones, because they never. answered. them. Look, either answer my call or let me leave you a message.
My dad’s texts are either asking if I’ve gotten home after visiting or pictures of dead deer he has shot.
YEP.
My dad’s rare texts are long, unpunctuated, and signed “Dad.” It’s adorable.
My dad also signs his texts “Dad”! It is my favorite thing. He has also recently discovered emoji so every text I’ve gotten from him in the last three months features at least one random object, animal, or food item.
Landlines! When my dad’s cell phone wasn’t working I had to call home because if they called me on the landline it would be long distance! Remember when long distance was a thing?
I really need to understand the circumstances that led to that cover photo. Because it is glorious.
My dad was very excited about the West Indian Day Parade.
I’m all hurt over the gift guide, like pshh none of those are for my dad… then I got to the last item. Nailed it.
Yep, that one, it’s like they know him.
As a follow-up, my dad is now posting statuses and videos on Facebook about the loss of Joe Cocker. RIP.
WHAT
MY DAD SENSES ARE GOING HAYWIRE RIGHT NOW BECAUSE THIS IS THE FIRST I’VE HEARD
My mom is very much a dad; she just called me to tell me Joe Cocker died. (Also: 🙁 )
Right? It is so my dad that I’m adding it to my Amazon gift list for his birthday. (He’s already getting a Bass Pro Shops gift card for Christmas this year.)
I just did my Christmas shopping this weekend. What does my have a closet full of? Sweaters. What could he wear a different type of every day for a month? Sweaters. What will be the cause of his eventual Hoarders appearance? Well, clothes in general, but especially sweaters. What does he want for Christmas? You guessed it.
I think I am A Dad then, I just moved provinces & trimmed my sweater collection in half. I still have over 25 sweaters.
I got my dad the Ugly Sweater for his favorite sports team. We did “family Christmas” (aka opening up presents with Dad and Brother via Skype) on Sunday morning. Dad unwraps my present and goes, “I love it! But my partner gave me the same thing this morning!” and Brother buried his face in his hands and said, “Shit, that’s what I got you too.”
DADS.
No but this is PERFECT. Now he will have to do less laundry and the joy of that sweater will last three times as long. This is an excellent Dad Gift, good job to everyone involved.
My mom is the one who will eat off my plate. In general she is a pain in the ass to go to restaurants with because she’ll only order appetizers and then graze off me and my dad’s plates. Which is fine, until she starts taking the best and biggest parts of my entree.
When it’s time to order, my mother would always say “Oh, I couldn’t finish one by myself, I’ll just have a bite of yours” and then eat half or more of the thing I ordered. I put my foot down with chocolate-coated ice cream bars — she’d eat most of the chocolate and leave me with plain ice cream. Not cool
My dad’s getting a Pack Your Trash t-shirt, which I think is essential Dad-wear.
He already has the “Pollo” Polo shirt.
Ahahahahahahahahaha, yessss.
I hope the LANDLINES article addresses the disaster that is Coca Cola phasing out voicemail at their offices.
“I felt a great disturbance in the Force, as if millions of dads suddenly cried out in confusion, and then suddenly didn’t know which button to press.”
Oh. Oh my god. This may be the best DadMag post yet. Perfect from beginning to end.
Also, since it appears we’re talking about what we got our dads for Christmas, I got mine two things on his list (or, rather, two things on the list my mom wrote up): a pair of reading glasses with little lights on the frames, and this book. It’s a nice change from the warm socks and huge jars of peanuts I’d been giving him for the last several years.
OH WAIT I forgot that I actually broke the streak last year by giving him a complete collection of 3 Stooges DVDs.
My husband and I got my dad a Bluetooth speaker for his iPhone. One of the first songs he tested was “Bang Bang,” which I’ve heard 1.5 times before this visit home. Dads dadding all over the place.
I just bought my dad some sweatshirts that are, sadly, plain and not covered in fish or deer or German Shorthaired Pointers. Tacky sweatshirts are hard to find when you don’t live near a Cabela’s or Bass Pro! They don’t sell them online!
Do they sell sweatshirts covered in German Shorthaired Pointers? My dad is a Classy Dad but I wonder if I could make him waver for a sweatshirt with a picture of the dog’s breed on it.
They do! The ones my dad has are pretty great, but the ones I found online are tacky….which is saying something when you’re talking about sweatshirts covered in pointers.
I got my dad a ridiculous 3-in-1 grilling spatula/tongs/I don’t even know what the third thing it does is. And a long-sleeved t-shirt from my current institution of higher learning, which he asked for. I also helped my mom pick out a red sweater for him, because he currently owns 5 identical navy blue sweaters and sometimes he will wear them 5 days in a row and my mom frets that people think he isn’t changing clothes.
But the most exciting thing for him on Christmas morning will probably be watching my husband unwrap the Dremel tool they got him. He really savors initiating others into daddishness.
I bought my Dad a ladder.
For decades, he has used the same wooden ladder to put up Christmas lights on the gigantic fir tree outside. I looked at it this year and the rungs were held on by duct tape.
He’s getting a new ladder.
Also, apparently my beagle enjoys chewing on the rotting rungs of the ladder. My Dad told me this, finding it hilarious and cute.
Which one of you geniuses mentioned the ultimate dad gift of the tiny tiny toolset? Because it inspired me and I assembled my dad a tiny tiny tool set of his own. SIX INCH CROWBAR.
OH SHIT
this just reminded me that i didn’t get my dad his present yet
do i go to the Harley Davidson store for the seventh gift in a row, or what
We’re taking him camping in May for his 60th birthday (Ft Wilderness at Disney, which was a thing we did all throughout us kids’ childhoods, so it’s a nostalgia/family thing, though in a cabin instead of a tiny RV this time), so maybe I should run into the outdoors store and get him a little camp stool or something as a preview, because lord knows i’m going all out for his birthday instead.
I was trying to give my dad a burned-wood bowl, but it cracked (next time, I will use better-seasoned wood), so now it’s an air-plant holder. It’s not very good, but I know he’ll be excited that I made him something with wood and fire. Because I’m 6 years old, apparently.
I made sure to leave one of the larger knots intact, because it looks cool, and the wood’s a neat pattern. It’ll go well with all of the stuff he’s carved because the wood was an interesting pattern (maple espresso tamper! With cool pink waves in it! It lives on top of the coffee mill).
Also, there were literal tears shed, because I was working outside, and the wind kept coming around and blowing the smoke into my eyes.
It’s our first Christmas as parents, and my husband asked for (and is receiving) a leaf blower for Christmas. Very Dad right off the bat.
LANDLINES
Really hoping this edition deals with that age old seasonal problem with THE YOUTHS: “Why do you need to do your hair, we’re just going to the grocery store, what do you MEAN you’re worried about running into your high school crush who is also home for the holidays?” How many eye rolls is TOO MANY?? How often should I bring this up at family gatherings in a gently mocking “did you know she put makeup on to go to the gas station JUST IN CASE?!” manner? (The obvious answer to the latter is every. single. opportunity.
I have been blessed with a very Dad-like Dad who somehow has NAILED the art of giving good presents. I think it’s my late stepmother’s influence and very possibly her ghost. Like, last year his gifts to me were a silk scarf, one hank of extremely fancy cashmere yarn, and a book about writing (but not a cheesy one!). His requests for himself, however, are nearly always the same: gift certificates to steakhouses.
Husband is in full Dad mode for Christmas. He asked for wool hiking socks and pajamas. But he would LOVE that Doobie Bros box set and the mesquite chips.
I am not a dad (but very well could be at this point) must admit though, I would be revved up by that Lamborghini wireless mouse.
a++ for use of a dad-like pun (revved up)!
My parents are both terrible with their cell phones. Dad is infinitely better with his, but mom refers to hers as a “leash” and leaves it behind any chance she gets, even in the house. 😐
FYI everybody, we had Christmas this weekend, and my dad bought himself a new gun, wrapped it up, addressed it to himself, put it under the tree, and opened it when we all opened presents.
“Just what I wanted. It’s like I really know what I like!”
That literally made me burst our laughing and spew ice cream all over my computer screen.
You’re welcome, computer screen!
A+ dadding
That is the only reason my dad ever has presents under the tree. He won’t tell anyone else what he wants! He just buys it for himself, wraps it, and then pretends to act surprised on Christmas morning!
I have started muttering bitten by a radioactive dad under my breath when my husband, who is not actually a dad, does anything particularly dadlike. Such as rhapsodizing about the ladder he got for his birthday. (It was a gift… from my dad. DADCEPTION.) I know Dad Magazine posts always attract some comments from Toasties observing strangely dadlike tendencies in their non-dad selves or partners, so perhaps I am not the only person who will find this phrase useful/hilarious.
Oh, yes. Using this one, because I fear that I too have been bitten by a radioactive Dad
Dadception could totally be a sketch comedy routine.
A Dad hands you a mug of black coffee, “It takes fifteen seconds off my morning routine to skip the sugar and cream.” DADCEPTION.
You see the jars of screws, bolts, nuts, and washers affixed to a piece of lumber by their jar lids in the garage, and think, “That looks so useful.” DADCEPTION.
Very yes, thank you for this phrase. Mr. Floridagal for sure has been bitten by a radioactive dad.
Oh wow, my dad is FAMOUS for grumpily saying “It’s FINE” about everything from an insufficiently de-iced windshield (from which he has scraped a postcard-sized clear space) to a gushing head wound (has happened more than once). He agrees, his shoes are FINE. (They are probably either full of holes and held together by super glue and duct tape, or he is wearing sneakers to a wedding or something.)
1. My dad never learned his cell phone or work number because “I don’t call myself!” Ughhhh.
2. If he were still I alive I would get my dad that amazing Kinks box set
After a childhood of being endless scolded for not taking care of or keeping track of my things, (“Look where you left this expensive thing I bought you, right where someone could step on it! When will you start being more careful/listening to me”) I am shocked at my dad’s inability to take care of a cell phone. He’s broken ever single one we’ve given him (about 10 at this point). Before he breaks them he looses them, and their chargers. He also doesn’t grasp how often they need to be charged to work as intended. When will you start listening to yourself dad?
My dad went to Canadian Tire, took a bunch of pictures of tools he wanted and then emailed them to me. So I bought him that ‘nut driver set’ he wanted (my mom is buying him the level). I have been buying my dad tools for Christmas since I was a wee small child; even if he already has that screwdriver you picked out it doesn’t matter because you can never have too many tools!
meant to be a reply to logicbutton (and go in the dad gifts thread)
I think my Dad’s favorite present is requests from his children to buy them tools for Christmas.
Is this all tied to a general anti-turning-up-the-heat-in-the-house attitude? (This post was meant to be a reply to the sweater dad story)
The man just has way too many clothes. He a) needs a lot of different business clothes and b) receives a lot of free casual clothes, and he never throws anything out. You know those hanging tie racks you stack on top of each other to save space? He has two floor-to-ceiling columns of them, maybe 200 ties. It’s ridiculous.
My father-in-law is flying in tomorrow and he and my husband are going to spend the week remodeling the bathroom together, “assisted” by my four-year-old. Peak Dad All Week y’all.
I got my dad:
–A blanket that folds into the size of roughly an iPhone because he “jealous women get to wear portable blankets” (big enormous scarves [I have tried to explain that gender is meaningless but that’s beyond him])
–A pen that writes in electrically conductive paint. Why would he need it? IDK, but if anyone wants that, it’s my dad.
Well now I know what to get my dad for his next gift-receiving moment.
(For Hannukah he got a bunch of road-trip stuff, since he & Mom are driving to Florida – neck pillow, fleece throw, crossword puzzle & sudoku books, the “good” pens, etc. And of course a ball cap from my son’s college. We are gradually replacing his wardrobe of old company logo items with a wardrobe of ‘this is where my grandkid goes’ items.)
where can I find that pen? my dad doesn’t know it yet, but he wants one, too.
Ta da: https://saturdaymarketproject.com/shop/200/electr…
I have no idea what I would use this for, but I really want this pen.
Thank you so much!
He’s going to love it. 😀 I’ll have to poke around and see what else that site might have for him, too!
Reliable Itineraries!
My parents are going to Cuba next month, on a bird watching tour. I’ve heard a lot about their itinerary in that last few months.
I got my dad a book (as always- this year it’s the Goldfinch because I couldn’t find it for him last year) and tickets to see Gang of Four in March because I know it’s a band he likes/enjoys mentioning he likes so we know he was cool when he was younger.
My dad just emailed me with a present suggestion!!!! Then he said I could use his credit card. Or maybe he’d just get it himself after the holidays. If he has already bought it for himself before Christmas and mine’s a duplicate I’m going to scream.
My dad always complains about how Michael McDonald “ruined” the Doobie Brothers. I have no opinion, being uninformed on the matter. It just amuses me how vehemently Dad holds this opinion.
Several years ago I got my Dad nuclear duct tape* for Christmas. He still talks about it. I do not think he has ever used it. 10/10 would Dad again.
* (http://www.amazon.com/3M-Performance-Nuclear-48-Millimeter-54-8-Meter/dp/B000NG3ZKI “Ideal for applications in the shipbuilding, nuclear power plant and stainless steel industries.”)
My mom got a separate pre-paid cellphone for travel, because what if she lost her good one? However, she neglected to inform me of this clever plan, and then her flight was delayed for two hours. During which time her phone was in an overhead compartment, of course.
ilu UniDad. My dad just passed last month, and I’m still hella sad, but this cheered me up so damn much negl. <3
You're welcome, computer screen!
Love this! My Dad wants corduroy shirts for Christmas. But they can’t be red. Or black. And they can’t cost over $20, and they can’t be from eBay. And he already has his eye on some at Sears that he’s positive will go on clearance after the holidays. So, that leaves me and my sister fighting it out over who gets him a Hickory Farms gift basket, and who gets him the big bag of pistachios. Again.
I inherited two of my dad’s plaid overshirts (one light and the other lined, like a jacket) after he passed away. I’m not sure where he got them, but I doubt he paid more than $20 for either. Probably at Stokes General Store in rural VA. Or on clearance at Sears.
I inherited two of my dad's plaid overshirts (one light and the other lined, like a jacket) after he passed away. I'm not sure where he got them, but I doubt he paid more than $20 for either. Probably at Stokes General Store in rural VA. Or on clearance at Sears.
We gave my father-in-law a pineapple in a brown bag for xmas one year. After harumphing because it looked like a houseplant and putting it back, he actually pulled it out and declared it best present ever. That was the beginning of a series of individual fruit presents. One year it was all the weird exotic fruits we could find. one year it was bananas.
The only thing my dad ever wanted for Christmas was peanut brittle. And every Christmas morning there he sat in his easy chair, eating the whole bag, happy as a clam.
Very yes, thank you for this phrase. Mr. Floridagal for sure has been bitten by a radioactive dad.
It means 'Love' in Chinese!
Yeah you are absolutely right about it. It should be named leaf sucker or vacuum. Let's name it again but how?
I'm super late to this, but I'm pretty sure it means "Love", although it would make me cackle evilly if a bunch of people just got "Dad" tattooed on themselves.