More than usual, this was truly the week that was. Who can forget the things this week brought us?
You’re not dying, demigods in Renaissance-era painting! You’re fine! WALK IT OFF.
May the “A Meat-Processing Professional Reviews Movies” series never end:
The inciting incident for the voluntary system is revealed to be an elderly man, Gilliam, performing self-amputation with a knife. This will not stand. Perhaps Mr. Joon-ho believes that his own arm is as soft and boneless as a well-aged steak, but I should hope he knows better about the rest of humanity! The removal of limbs requires specialised tools, and a severing of bone and sinew. Without access to these, Mr. Gilliam is at a severe disadvantage. The removal of his limb would have been an extremely long and, presumably, painful process–nothing like the inspiring moment of high drama that is implied. Yet with a suitable axe or bone saw, the problem could have been solved. I would suggest that Mr. Joon-ho does his research next time he talks about removing limbs!
WHO WOULD HAVE GUESSED that in a week I wrote both “Misandrist Lullabies” and “Next on Black Mirror,” the mild teasing at the expense of a moderately popular show about technology would be the more controversial of the two? Not I, my friends.
Another lovely, affecting entry in our Seasonal Depression series: “How does one explain the window is the problem? I sit by the window, and I watch the cold and the dark take over the world every day as I age under fluorescent waves of sadness. All I can do is count the days until March.”
FALLING IN LOVE WITH OTHER WOMEN FOR BUSINESS PURPOSES
This week also saw the first Texts From… entry since the book launch, this time featuring the Dashwoods &co. from Sense and Sensibility:
listen
i just want you to know
for whatever it’s worth
that i really did love you
I thank you, Willoughby
that does mean a great deal to —
and honestly
after i seduced and abandoned that teenage girl
you were for absolutely sure my number one choice of wife
after i left that fifteen-year-old to raise my illegitimate child by herself
you were the respectable woman i wanted to leave her for
