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Home: The Toast

misandry17Straight man, don’t bother me
Straight man, don’t bother me
Straight man, don’t bother me
You don’t interest anybody


Row, row, row your boat,
Gently down the stream.
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily,
Men are but a dream


The wheels on the bus go round and round,
round and round;
round and round.
The wheels on the bus go round and round,
all through the town.

The wipers on the bus go mis-an-dry,
mis-an-dry;
mis-an-dry
,
The wipers on the bus go mis-an-dry,
all through the town.

The horn on the bus says kill all men,
Kill all men;
Kill all men.
The horn on the bus says kill all men,
all through the town.


Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack
All dressed in black, black, black
With silver buttons, buttons, buttons
All down her back, back, back.
She asked her mother, mother, mother
for fifty cents, cents, cents
To see the zoo, zoo, zoo
With all the men, men, men.


When Johnny comes marching home again
Hurrah! Hurrah!
We’ll give him a women’s welcome then
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The men are gone and the boys have fled
The ladies will collect their final head
When Johnny comes marching home.


The old gray male, he ain’t what he used to be,
Ain’t what he used to be, ain’t what he used to be,
The old gray male, he ain’t what he used to be,
Many long years ago.
Many long years ago, many long years ago,
The old gray male, he ain’t what he used to be,
Many long years ago.


A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go
(Heigh-ho, the derry-o, a-hunting we will go
A-hunting we will go, a-hunting we will go)
We’ll catch the boys and we’ll let them make noise
And then we’ll use our knives.


Three little kittens they lost their mittens,
And they began to cry,
Oh, mother dear, we sadly fear
Our mittens we have lost.
What! lost your mittens, you naughty kittens!
Then men worldwide shall die.
Mee-ow, mee-ow, mee-ow.
Yes, men worldwide shall die.


I’m a little teapot, short and stout
Here is my handle, here is my spout
When I get all steamed up, hear me shout:
Dismantle the patriarchy without mercy.


John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt,
That’s my name too.
Whenever I go out,
The people always shout,
“ONE HAS ESCAPED. END HIM.”


Head, shoulders, knees and toes
Knees and toes
Head, shoulders, knees and toes
Knees and toes
Eyes and ears and mouth and nose
Men don’t have any of those!

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