To this day, when I’ve seen something I don’t particularly like, I can’t help but groan out “Simon Flitoris, what did you think of that?”

“Did you find their choice of language predictable?”

“I did, I did. I found English to be a sadly predictable language.”

The way they slide down in their chairs! The haircuts! The half-closed eyes, as if in pain! This is what you sound like whenever you criticize anything, just so you know.