Philadelphia! Do you know how much work it’s been for me to get to see you? Well, don’t worry about it, because I don’t want you to feel guilty just because travel conditions are less than ideal (FIRST PLANE WAS CANCELLED, SECOND PLANE WENT TO NEWARK, THEN WAS REROUTED TO JFK, WHERE I TOOK A CAB TO PENN STATION, A TRAIN TO PHILADELPHIA, THEN A CAB TO THE HOTEL BUT HONESTLY I THINK I’M PRETTY LUCKY TO BE AT A POINT IN MY LIFE WHERE PEOPLE ASK ME TO TRAVEL TO SPEAK TO THEM AND ALL OF THE ACCOMMODATIONS WERE WARM AND SAFE AND I’VE NEVER HAD EVEN A SINGLE CAVITY SO REALLY WHAT IS THERE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT? NOTHING, NOTHING AT ALL, I’LL SLIDE INTO MY GRAVE SOMEDAY WITH GRATITUDE FOR THIS LIFE I’VE LED). It doesn’t matter. All of this was worth it, to visit the city where so many scenes from National Treasure were filmed.
So! I’ll be at the Kelly Writer’s House (3805 Locust Walk, on the Penn campus, more specifically in the Arts Cafe) tonight at 6pm. Someone will, I believe, be introducing me, and then I might read something, and then there will be a Q&A, and maybe later you and I can get away from all these people and go somewhere quiet to really talk.
Tags: kelly writers house, meta, philadelphia, texts from jane eyre
Yessssss I had no idea this was happening until yesterday, but I will SEE YOU THERE unless I get swallowed by a pile of slush.
But when Boston, Mallory? WHEN BOSTON
Yes come up here! Travel conditions are ten times worse so you’ll be even more thankful for your life!!
Yes please Boston! (Though you might want to wait until April.)
Boston!
YES PLEASE. Boston Toasties love you, too!
I can’t come because I’m in LA obviously but I came down here to say NATIONAL TREASURE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Goodness I love that movie so much.
I studied for four months in Philadelphia (coming from Australia) and essentially every time I left campus this was my reaction.
I WILL SEE YOU SO SOON
Please visit the better half of Pennsylvania ie Pittsburgh, I know of at least two people here who will fawn all over you. AT LEAST two. Also no one ever flies here because why would you, so air travel should be smoother.
this is not correct, Pittsburgh is the worse half of Pennsylvania.
u guys we’re forgetting central pennsylvania
harrisburg is THE WORST
This is correct. Pennsylvania is nothing but Philadelphia and Pittsburgh with Alabama in between, and the Alabama part is the worst part.
oh, yeah, all right that is definitely true, there is no part of Pennsylvania worse than central Pennsylvania.
I think we can all hold hands and sing Kumbaya on that one for sure.
After the manner of our Quaker forebearers, we have reached a consensus.
I jumped into this thread ready to fight for Philadelphia. I’m glad we could resolve this peacefully.
I can’t believe I’m missing this! My 8-month-old daughter goes to bed at 7pm, so I can’t attend, but I would be there if I could. Since I can’t tell you this in person, like I would like to!, I would like to say thank you, Mallory for writing so honestly and humorously. Reading your world view has helped change my perspective in life and on feminism. I’m really grateful for your presence in this world and on this site.
Baltimore!
Aaaaargh this is 10 minutes from where I live but I have an appointment at 6! If there is a bar hangout or something afterward is there a way a girl could get notified?
Well, I don’t know, I’ll think about it. It’s pretty cold out. Also the roads are messy.
YESSSSSS I’LL BE THERE
Damn, this had to happen when I’ve left Penn and the Philly area ? 🙁
:'(
Come to Nashville! If you want. We’re full of good whiskey and Southern-fried hubris. We also have a bookstore owned by an author!
Whaaaaaaaaaat!? (Immediately begins drafting various versions of a text to husband that will justify just not coming home from work tonight, even though child has ear infection…)
So close yet so far away. I’ll put in another bid for Boston. Or somewhere in New England. Anywhere. I’ll drive.
YES I’LL BE THERE 😀
WHAT how did I not know this was happening till now?? (Besides that as a proper Philadelphian, I avoid most Penn-related things like the plague.)
WHY why did I not know about this earlier! I am so so sad not to be there.
UGH, I want to go (commences whining)…sorry I can’t be there, but I support you in spirit, as well as any Toastie who makes it there also!!
1) Reading comments from the people with sick children and young sleepy children I feel affirmed in my decision to lead a life of selfishness and solitude (although your children are almost certainly beacons of joy and wonder as well as responsibility and germs)
2) After also getting stuck with bad travel vibes yesterday (three hours on the tarmac at JFK!) I feel like same – getting stuck was annoying, but I hate watched 1/3 of 27 Dresses and I got to go to a PLACE and miss work and drink from a coconut so what do I even have to complain about?
Feel affirmed! Feel very affirmed!!
Hey! I had no idea this was happening, but I’ll try to be there.
Dang it! I work 2 blocks from there, but my friend just made me promise to witness her wedding license tonight at 6! I don’t think I can cancel on her.
Seconded! I’m working late tonight (and am a bit farther away), but I might be able to go to a hangout later. 🙁 Any chance Mallory’s in town for more than one night?
AHH I DIDN’T KNOW THIS WAS HAPPENING, I’M GONNA HAVE TO RUSH THERE AFTER WORK
I used to never have had a single cavity. Until I turned 42. What the FUCK, man.
I’m so, so sad that I can’t be there. Please come back to Philly when the weather doesn’t hate you!
Mallory at my alma mater! I hope the snacks are good. I remember some really excellent cookie platters from my time at Penn.
As someone who was there- the cookies were lovely. And also there were figs
Most importantly, FREE WINE.
This all pleases me. If Penn is good for anything, it is a lavish spread at free events… or at least wine, cookies, and figs.
Yessss, though I didn’t have any of the figs.
Okay, who’s here that’s good?
I have got a very important chair, by am quickly being blocked in by tall people.
Am v. excited to see Mallory on the TV.
Yeah the room fill up so quickly/absolutely! I managed to get there at the right time to take advantage of people’s modesty in not taking front row seats
Were you on the left side, front row?
Yeah I totally regretted not taking a front row seat…but it made my 7pm departure a tad less awkward.
Yep! It was cool being up close, awkwardness over feeling too visible notwithstanding. You weren’t the one she said bye to when you left early were you?
I just found out about this now. Please check the Philadelphia Inquirer tomorrow, you will get to read an article about the first recorded incidence of a person drowning herself in whiskey and ice cream.
SAME. EXCEPT BEER.
Trapped under sleeping infant for past two days. Seething with jealousy over missed opportunity.
Were you on the left side, front row?
Yeah I totally regretted not taking a front row seat…but it made my 7pm departure a tad less awkward.
THANK YOU FOR BRIEFLY EXISTING NEAR ME, MALLORY.
I was somehow in the front row, sniffing loudly and staring at Mallory like I’d never seen a human woman before.
No amount of instagram filtering can hide how ridiculously excited I was.
I was at this and it was phenom. Best Monday ever.