Grease
Any and all KISS songs that refer to specific fabrics a woman is wearing (usually “leather and lace” or “silk and satin”)
The entire Twilight series (movies only)
Whatever it is that Russell Brand does
TLC’s music video for “No Scrubs”
The scene from The Celluloid Closet where they explain no one told Charlton Heston about the gay subtext in Ben-Hur
Lil’ Kim, The Notorious K.I.M.
All of Gaston’s scenes from Beauty and the Beast
Carmen Miranda
Magic Mike
The first three seasons of The Nanny
I Dream of Jeannie
The music video for Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again”
The entire series run of “Don’t Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23”
Married With Children
Donny and Marie
Nicki Minaj’ entire career, starting with this video and an in-class discussion about how long everyone spent fighting back in 2009 over whether or not this was actually her
Jessica Rabbit
The entire discography of Prince
The Powerpuff Girls
Criss Angel
Jeannie C. Riley, “Harper Valley P.T.A.”
Evil Dead: Army of Darkness
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Stevie Nicks, “Edge of Seventeen”
P.G. Wodehouse, Leave It To Psmith
Blackadder, series three
V.C. Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic
Every relationship Khadijah had on Living Single
Every gossip article about the rumor that Ariana Grande demands to be carried around like a baby
Dolly Parton’s entire career
Jimmy Buffett, “Margaritaville”
All of Schmidt’s scenes on New Girl
The Bodyguard
André 3000
Every scene between Hamlet and Gertrude in Hamlet
The Rock
Ken, Toy Story 3
Jane the Virgin
Those Enzyte commercials they used to run late at night where the soundtrack was just whistling
Dirty Dancing but also Patrick Swayze’s entire career
Fabio
Every one of Samantha’s scenes from the original series run of Sex and the City
Steel Magnolias
Fountains of Wayne, “Stacy’s Mom”
The court of King Louis XIV
The collected works of Jane Austen (particular focus on Sir Walter Elliot, Willoughby, and Henry Crawford)
Joe Camel
Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.