you seem distracted, my love
do i really
you keep staring into the middle distance
oh
is that not you?
i’m always mixing up you with the middle distance
you look so much like the middle distance
darling, leave the piano alone for a minute and kiss me
I really wish I could
but these scales won’t play themselves
look, I’ll put down my violin and you can –
you can do what you like to my face but leave my hands alone
you and I are the only hot people here
kiss me, everyone’s watching
this is more bearable than I ever dreamed it could be
why
I could put up with this for hours
my hair is still taller and more fabulous than his
i must keep things in perspective, and focus on what truly matters
actually i find the sharp pains from this stress position a welcome mental distraction
darling, to climb this gate would be the work of a minute
I could be by your side in seconds
no, it’s a – the gate is cursed
cursed?
if you climb it, I’ll disappear
sort of like a Brigadoon thing
turn and kiss me, my love
sorry I have that thing where I can’t tell my right from my left
just turn towards my voice
ahh sorry
I have that thing where I can’t tell the difference between a person and his reflection
so if I drown myself
it’s just because I love you so much I was trying to kiss you faster
don’t take it personal
stay a minute, love
I cannot kiss your hand only
ahh sorry
these stairs only go up
that isn’t so
see, I’m going in the other d–
no you’re on the down part of the staircase
I’m on the up part
common mistake
sorry
nothing I can do
[Images via]
We’re just all too witches for men’s kisses, here
I’m really glad this has caught on.
I just want someone to look at me the way the woman in #1 looks at the middle distance.
‘Women Enjoying Heterosexual Kisses in Western Art History’ looks a lot like ‘Women “Enjoying” Heterosexual Kisses in Korean Dramas’.
If that isn’t a “did I leave the gas on?” face, I don’t know what is.
or maybe a “did I let the gas out?” face ifyouknowwhati’msayingandithinkyoudo
Oh, I DO know what you’re saying.
Smell-the-fart kissing
“Oh Christ, I left the iron on.”
oh is THIS what we were aiming for during the last 18 episodes? Ugh well I won’t make THAT mistake again, 12 episodes ONLY here-on-out
K drama ideas of romance are peculiar and confusing, mostly because it seems like the men are pretty uniformly terrible to women who were born without the ability to say “no”. I love them, but I also end up yelling at the TV a lot.
I do find this to be true about a lot of K-dramas, especially the ones produced on the major networks (SBS, MBC, KBC). My understanding is that those channels are the major free networks — kind of like our TNT or USA networks — and the dramas on them tend to cater to an older, more conservative crowd.
Dramas on the cable channels that you have to pay for, like tvN and JTBC, generally have much better portrayals of male/female relationships. The women look like they actually enjoy being physically intimate, and there is a lot more criticism of existing power structures and cultural ideas of how men and women should behave. Case in point: Miss Temper & Nam Jung-gi is a drama airing right now on JTBC, and it offers up one of the best portrayals/critiques of workplace sexism that I’ve ever seen, on Korean or American popular media. (Give it a try if you’re looking for a new dram!)
There are good K-dramas out there, even on the major cable networks, but it definitely takes some work to find them. It’s horrifying how many of the most popular K-dramas (Boys Over Flowers, Secret Garden) portray this semi-abusive type of relationship, though I will say that I have seen movement away from these harmful tropes in the past few years.
Wow! Thank you so much for the recommendations. I’ve never seen Boys Over Flowers, but I was introduced to K-drama through things like Coffee Prince and My Lovely Sam-Soon and UGH. I’ll definitely be looking for Miss Temper on MySoju.
Ooo, I hope you like it! It just finished this weekend, and it was great. Definitely one of my all-time favorites.
And for future drama-watching, I personally have enjoyed most tvN dramas that I’ve seen. Take a look at Shut Up Flower Boy Band, Angry Mom and I Need Romance 3 for a couple good ones.
Also, you probably already know this, but most of the highly-rated dramas on the Dramabeans rating list are pretty good. The women who run that site are brilliant ladies with a definite feminist sensibility, so the dramas they recommend tend to be pretty free of the icky gender dynamics in many K-dramas. The entire Dramabeans website is basically amazeballs, and a great place to learn about Korean culture as well as read in-depth analyses of your favorite drams.
Oh gosh also…how could I forget…if you haven’t already seen it, WATCH HEALER IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER. O_O It is SO good.
Also a tvN offering.
Oh man, I love Boys Over Flowers (read the manga, watched the anime, watched the japanese drama) but it definitely is… flawed
my hair is still taller and more fabulous than his
i must keep things in perspective, and focus on what truly matters
Words to live by in all situations.
Hair up, nips out. I dig it.
Oh these are all so UNCOMFORTABLE. Had these artists never seen people kissing or done it themselves?
Perhaps they had, and they are NOT GOOD AT IT.
They are!
And even the DUDE in #4 looks like he’d rather be elsewhere. Why is anybody doing sexy stuff to anybody in that picture?
You’re very kind to the painter to call that “sexy stuff.”
Yea, this post could easily be titled “Expressions to have when Thinking of England”
Maybe the artist said “Ok models, kissing pose – NOW!” and it started off great, but wasn’t so sexy about five weeks later when he was finishing up the painting. He forgot to tell them when it was face day. They’re all just models thinking about hitting the bar after studio hour.
I dated that last guy briefly. Dude could not let me get up and go to the bathroom without deciding THAT was the moment he was gonna make his move. Like, you know where I’m going, are you really sure you want to get in between me and the toilet?
Just like a cat!
Did he lay outside the closed bathroom door and periodically swipe his fingers underneath?
One of the guys I dated briefly would stop making out to ask “may I fart”
I mean, at least he asked.
And at least he said “may I” instead of “can I”!
A polite bro with correct grammar? You could do a lot worse.
Did he restrain himself when you said no?
Could be a keeper!
Same.
you keep staring into the middle distance
oh
is that not you?
i’m always mixing up you with the middle distance
oh no, I think this is my relationship from college D:
Wait a minute! That one with the mirror confuses me. Is kissing one’s own reflection a heterosexual act?
Excuse me. I have to find a dark room and reconsider my entire sexuality.
One time I dreamt that I cloned myself so that I could make out with my clone, does that mean I too am heterosexual?
I have, more than once, for different characters I cosplay; dreamed that I was cosplaying said character, while making out with other people, who were also cosplaying said character.
And every time I wake up thinking, “How narcissistic AM I?” and “Why do I keep cosplaying characters I’d actually like to make-out with? Shouldn’t I cosplay the other half of their most common ship instead?” But I don’t wanna. I wanna cosplay them, and apparently also make out with them.
Also known as “How I Missed The Fact of My Bisexuality For Years.”
See, I think that should be filed under Women Enjoying Self-Love in Western Art History.
But surely that is peak homosexuality, no?
Self sexuality.
When only you will do.
When only you will do you.
I’d do me.
The fence one (that’s the extent of my art history knowledge, I can only say “the fence one”) is gooorgeous
I’ve got a whole story in my head about the bloodstain on the floor in the lower left corner of the “woman kissing herself in the mirror” picture.
(Yeah, maybe that’s just the artist’s signature, but it sure as hell looks like bloody footprints to me. That woman is kissing herself for whatever it is she has just done that is the reason she is now alone in that picture.)
Let’s hear it!
“Now to make out with someone who does it right.”
I would read that short story.
#4
Okay, I know that Western art is aaaaaaaaaall about pretending women don’t have pubic hair, but now we’re going to pretend they don’t have nipples?
Her nipples inverted themselves back into her chest at the sight of that dude’s unibrow.
this made me snort loudly
Oh god all of these are me in any kisses I’ve ever had. Especially the piano one.
That’s really sad! 🙁
Wishing you a better, more enjoyable time in kisses to come.
Hah, no worries! I have come to the conclusion that kissing is Not For Me (along with other romantic activities) and I am much happier for it.
Piano woman has her priorities right. They have a concert coming up and those scales aren’t going to play themselves.
Oh, anyone else watching Wynonna Earp? This whole post is the ending of episode 3 where Officer Haught is trying to comfort Waverly and Waverly’s stupid boyfriend ruins everything like this:
Oh my god I may have to watch this just to see what else the left side of her mouth can express.
This clip convinced me to watch it. Their ship name is WayHaught, and I’m a sucker for slightly campy sic-fi
That is the Best ship name.
Ain’t it just? I’m such a sucker for wordplay, and I firmly believe that the compatibility of tv characters is directly correlated with their ship name.
Sweet Baby Jesus I see what you mean
Well hello, Officer Tightpants!
I haven’t seen the show, but this gif is now my everything.
I’m enjoying the show so far, but I really like Sci-Fi! And then you have this beauty:
I can’t stop watching this. The redheaded lady has such a beautiful smile.
Hahaha, and I like how the black guy/his eyes are the Greek chorus that represents All Of Us.
I LOVE THIS
That smile on the blond woman! That uniform!
ALL I WANT TO DO NOW IS MAINLINE THIS SHOW
WHY IS IT NOT ON NETFLIX? AMAZON PRIME? I JUST WANT TO BE SMILED AT LIKE THAT FOREVER
1. plip
2. mmmfrrwr (dramatic chord)
3. fweep
4.mmfrglescrapescrapesnurglefft
5. tink
6. HMMWAFFLWFFLWFFL
7. eehmfssfwauugh
8. smep
9. ONGWAAMMPFTHFTH
That third one reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-J2UZZ45BqU
“These stairs only go up” is my new exit strategy.
I know! You can just imagine the dude going “oh lol I forgot about stair complementarity, well see you later….” and then a couple minutes later being like “STAIR WHATNOW? Confound it woman”
By then, of course, you’d be in your tower with your selection of companions/lack thereof.
tall hair lady is doing the BEST “ugh whatever” eyeroll of all time.
Brigadoooon! One of the first musicals I saw/my favorite word to say in a Scottish accent! Try it, it’s lovely.
Just makes me think of Four Weddings and a Funeral, and then I get sad.
I tried and it went from Scottish to Spanish in about half a second, which was…impressively terrible
In number six, there is a big droopy hound cuddling the man’s head, and the woman is saying, “Yeah, that’s Rufus. Hello again, Rufus.” I can’t unsee it.
Love how in #8, the dude has his junk covered but she doesn’t. Was the painter trying to avoid an NC-17 rating?
Are… are we sure she doesn’t though? I’m not an expert or anything, but if I saw an ostensibly naked woman looking like that my immediate thought would be WOW WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU. My vote is for old-timey custom flesh-colored panties. Apparently common in a lot of paintings?
What is the deal with the lady’s braid in the last picture? Does it…end in a tassel that is tucked into her belt?
Her ponytail has a ponytail!
Man, I could have used a gate with the first guy I dated. Dude used to use his tongue like a lance, I used to think he was trying to check if I had tonsils. And I swear one time he was counting how many teeth I had, with his tongue.
Ah, the youhfully exuberant tongue-kiss. The best is when your partner thinks it’s sexy for their tongue to crawl into your mouth and flop around like a spasmodic, tethered eel.
Of course I’m enjoying this, darling. I’m having so much fun that we probably ought to stop now. And forever. I just love it so much I can’t allow myself the wanton yearning.
his is more bearable than I ever dreamed it could be
why
I could put up with this for hours
Christ, my love life in a nutshell.
Not exactly on topic, but what the heck, this post reminded me of this woodcut, and I think the ambiguous heterosexuality in it is a nice balance to everything else (plus I love the title – “Two Faces Kissing”).
I relate
Me: I have something to do now
Guy: What
Me: (interrupting) Anything
In thr stress-position one, is that not a Great Dane she’s kissing?
I honestly thought it was a gorilla
YES. The placement of all the human limbs confuses me, but there is definitely a big doggy with jowls at the top of the pile.
#4 is my last relationship almost exactly.
Maybe it would have been better if we’d had those wigs.
This post reminds me how my grandmother once said something about our society going downhill and one of the examples she used was that in older movies, people used to kiss with their mouths closed. And I was like, “Yeah, and they definitely made you believe they liked kissing each other, uh huh.”
“Hm, and nowadays we don’t confuse the Hayes code with realistic sexuality. That IS different!”
Your grandmother is clearly wrong. According to one to the experts* who regularly writes in to my hometown newspaper, women wearing shorts is the prime reason society is going downhill.
*And by “expert” I mean “misogynist asshole.”
can someone please explain to me what happened to the woman in no. 4’s lower half is she trying to achieve a cheshire-cat style escape
With her nipples being the first thing to have disappeared? o_O
for my first trick I’ll make my nipples disappear, and for my second…
this is what I was wondering!
I dunno I’m kinda into the one where the lady is getting macked on by a shadow man, but I did spend way too many of my formative years reading Anne Rice, and it changed me.
It’s okay, there’s a dark basement room for us somewhere where we can sit and listen to Sisters of Mercy by ourselves.
I think The Toast has finally broken me. I can only see the first one as a decidedly NOT heterosexual kiss? One of the women is clearly not as into it as the other one – maybe she is straight and that makes the kiss a little bit straight too? Or maybe she just really yearns for that sweet, sweet middle distance? Certainly looks like it to me.
Ooo, I hope you like it! It just finished this weekend, and it was great. Definitely one of my all-time favorites.
And for future drama-watching, I personally have enjoyed most tvN dramas that I've seen. Take a look at Shut Up Flower Boy Band, Angry Mom and I Need Romance 3 for a couple good ones.
Also, you probably already know this, but most of the highly-rated dramas on the Dramabeans rating list are pretty good. The women who run that site are brilliant ladies with a definite feminist sensibility, so the dramas they recommend tend to be pretty free of the icky gender dynamics in many K-dramas. The entire Dramabeans website is basically amazeballs, and a great place to learn about Korean culture as well as read in-depth analyses of your favorite drams.
Oh gosh also…how could I forget…if you haven't already seen it, WATCH HEALER IMMEDIATELY IF NOT SOONER. O_O It is SO good.
Also a tvN offering.
It's okay, there's a dark basement room for us somewhere where we can sit and listen to Sisters of Mercy by ourselves.