Syllabus For The Course On “Camp Heterosexuality” I Have Not Yet Been Asked To Teach -The Toast

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heteroNick Jonas, Nick Jonas


Any and all KISS songs that refer to specific fabrics a woman is wearing (usually “leather and lace” or “silk and satin”)

The entire Twilight series (movies only)

Whatever it is that Russell Brand does

TLC’s music video for “No Scrubs”

The scene from The Celluloid Closet where they explain no one told Charlton Heston about the gay subtext in Ben-Hur

Lil’ Kim, The Notorious K.I.M.

All of Gaston’s scenes from Beauty and the Beast

Carmen Miranda

Magic Mike

The first three seasons of The Nanny

I Dream of Jeannie

The music video for Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again”

hetero2The entire series run of “Don’t Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23”

Married With Children

Donny and Marie

Nicki Minaj’ entire career, starting with this video and an in-class discussion about how long everyone spent fighting back in 2009 over whether or not this was actually her

Jessica Rabbit

The entire discography of Prince

The Powerpuff Girls

Criss Angel

Jeannie C. Riley, “Harper Valley P.T.A.”

Evil Dead: Army of Darkness

Gentlemen Prefer Blondes

Stevie Nicks, “Edge of Seventeen”

P.G. Wodehouse, Leave It To Psmith

Blackadder, series three

V.C. Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic

Every relationship Khadijah had on Living Single

Every gossip article about the rumor that Ariana Grande demands to be carried around like a baby

Dolly Parton’s entire career

Jimmy Buffett, “Margaritaville”

All of Schmidt’s scenes on New Girl

The Bodyguard

André 3000

Every scene between Hamlet and Gertrude in Hamlet

The Rock

Ken, Toy Story 3

Jane the Virgin

Those Enzyte commercials they used to run late at night where the soundtrack was just whistling

Dirty Dancing but also Patrick Swayze’s entire career


Every one of Samantha’s scenes from the original series run of Sex and the City

Steel Magnolias

Fountains of Wayne, “Stacy’s Mom”

The court of King Louis XIV

The collected works of Jane Austen (particular focus on Sir Walter Elliot, Willoughby, and Henry Crawford)

Joe Camel

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