Nick Jonas, Nick Jonas
Grease
Any and all KISS songs that refer to specific fabrics a woman is wearing (usually “leather and lace” or “silk and satin”)
The entire Twilight series (movies only)
Whatever it is that Russell Brand does
TLC’s music video for “No Scrubs”
The scene from The Celluloid Closet where they explain no one told Charlton Heston about the gay subtext in Ben-Hur
Lil’ Kim, The Notorious K.I.M.
All of Gaston’s scenes from Beauty and the Beast
Carmen Miranda
Magic Mike
The first three seasons of The Nanny
I Dream of Jeannie
The music video for Whitesnake’s “Here I Go Again”
The entire series run of “Don’t Trust The Bitch In Apartment 23″
Married With Children
Donny and Marie
Nicki Minaj’ entire career, starting with this video and an in-class discussion about how long everyone spent fighting back in 2009 over whether or not this was actually her
Jessica Rabbit
The entire discography of Prince
The Powerpuff Girls
Criss Angel
Jeannie C. Riley, “Harper Valley P.T.A.”
Evil Dead: Army of Darkness
Gentlemen Prefer Blondes
Stevie Nicks, “Edge of Seventeen”
P.G. Wodehouse, Leave It To Psmith
Blackadder, series three
V.C. Andrews’ Flowers in the Attic
Every relationship Khadijah had on Living Single
Every gossip article about the rumor that Ariana Grande demands to be carried around like a baby
Dolly Parton’s entire career
Jimmy Buffett, “Margaritaville”
All of Schmidt’s scenes on New Girl
The Bodyguard
André 3000
Every scene between Hamlet and Gertrude in Hamlet
The Rock
Ken, Toy Story 3
Jane the Virgin
Those Enzyte commercials they used to run late at night where the soundtrack was just whistling
Dirty Dancing but also Patrick Swayze’s entire career
Fabio
Every one of Samantha’s scenes from the original series run of Sex and the City
Steel Magnolias
Fountains of Wayne, “Stacy’s Mom”
The court of King Louis XIV
The collected works of Jane Austen (particular focus on Sir Walter Elliot, Willoughby, and Henry Crawford)
Joe Camel
Tags: heterosexuality, higher education, humor, i’m not joking though
I would like to sign up for this course, please and thank you.
Agreed. Here I am, what is our first assignment, please?
And where should I be registering? Is it available as a J-term intensive?
I think I may already be taking this course, just by virtue of living through some portion of late 20th/21st century American history.
Agreed. Where do we start?
My previous life goal was “make enough money that I can force my alma mater to name a building something stupid in my honor” but I think now it’s “make enough money that I can create an endowed professorship of camp at my alma mater”
The Sausagedog Family Professor in Teaching Supremity and Professor of Camp Sexuality. Yeaaaah.
I feel like I’d ONLY JUST gotten that enzyte whistle out of my head THANKS MALLORY
There was a commercial for a travel website (Travelocity?) that used that whistle! I had a Pavlovian reaction of horror when I heard it, my fingers stiffened and curled up into claws and everything. I only saw it a few times, though – I’m guessing they realized what they’d done and pulled it off the air.
I want to write my end of course term paper on Rogelio from Jane the Virgin. Can we include gifs in the paper for, you know, emphasis?
Whatever it is that Russell Brand does
Yeah what IS that, anyway?
His appeal completely eludes me and I’m supposedly a straight lady. I’m not sure straight ladies are his target market, though. Maybe that’s the point.
Magic Mike and all things McConaughey, however, are a different story. And The Rock and all of his pancakes.
i am 100% here for mcconaughey AND the rock and i do not care how problematic that is. such delicious toxic performative masculinity.
I don’t know but I am INTO IT. I’m here for all the greasy, sketchy-looking guys with long hair and eyeliner (see also: Tom Hiddleston in Only Lovers Left Alive).
Also he is one half of what is by far the best contestant team in The Big Fat Quiz of the Year (the other half being Noel Fielding).
Oh yeah, Adam love right here. Unf.
I also like sketchy guys with long hair and eyeliner, so I get the attraction while I’m also a bit disgusted with his manarchism.
I do enjoy when he goes on television and the person interviewing him has apparently entirely underestimated him– ie Morning Joe or Jeremy Paxman. Some of his articles in The Guardian have been good. I’ve even been interested in some of what he’s done on The Trews (He interviewed B. Dolan. I’m a huge B. Dolan fan.)
Everything else, like the stuff he’s actually famous for? Meh. Not that interesting to me.
his on screen demeanor bugs me to no end, but he is a pretty good writer. .
See performative heterosexuality AND performative Britishness. Plus mix in some fairly reasonable socially conscious stuff that doesn’t quite jibe with the rest of his persona for me. He is an enigma.
Russell Brand is a rich tapestry.
Have you read his obituary of Amy Winehouse? He’s a skilled writer.
Loved him in every single scene he was in in Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Think he got a little too famous, everything else he’s acted in has been forgettable.
Christiano Ronaldo.
CORRECT.
Oh my god, my crush on him is so devastatingly, embarrassingly … persistent.
(which is to say: YES.)
Aw, what a bright-eyed little puppy he is.
I can’t stop watching this
“HEY YOU! Here are my nipples! Right here!”
He is just like the ultimate in this, isn’t he? Everything he does and wears and is is basically Camp Heterosexuality.
He deserves all the sports trophies for those eyebrows alone.
hahaaa YES. I called Ronaldo camp to a dumb laddish soccer fanatic friend of my husband’s after the world cup, mainly just to rile him up, and it worked TOO WELL. Because it’s true.
OK, this is late to the thread, but: http://www.diez.hn/internacionales/794750-99/cris…
“El profesor que impartirá el curso de “Cristianomanía” asegura que el luso “lo primero que lo hace especial son sus capacidades futbolísticas. Está en la cima del mundo en términos deportivos, tiene visibilidad más allá del fútbol, tiene sex-appeal e influencia en los looks de nuestra cultura”.
Para terminar, Aguiar espera que “Cristiano participe en una clase vía Skype para que los estudiantes hagan sus preguntas”.”
!!!! There will be a class! And he’s going to skype with the class!! My kingdom for an acceptance letter from British Columbia University.
Now I’m trying to draw more connecting lines between Gaston and Sir Walter Elliot..
Mirrors.
And, “She’s the most beautiful girl job town! That makes her the best, and don’t I deserve the best?”
Lefou = Mrs. Clay?
Oh my god, this explains so much about my life.
Yeeeah this.
I would’ve leapt at this class headfirst, especially if it examined Buckcherry’s magnum opus, “Crazy Bitch.”
When I saw the headline on twitter, the first thing that sprang to mind was camp as ” a social, cultural, and aesthetic style and sensibility based on deliberate and self-acknowledged theatricality” (thanks Wikipedia, for providing me with cut-and-paste definitions so I don’t have to bother writing them myself!). But I realise I’m not sure Americans use “camp” as a term… Toasties, yay or nay? /end digression
Susan Sontag’s “Notes on Camp” came out in 1964–definitely an American term, not always used with heterosexuality as Mallory is doing here with such genius.
I think “campy” would ring a bell for many Americans, but “camp” has too many stronger associations. I can’t read “camp heterosexuality” without picturing tents and cabins.
That was my first reading, and I was all “but where are the arts and crafts?” but then my brain clicked in to the intended definition.
Now I’m thinking about a literal Camp Heterosexuality, sort of like the Straight Guy Passing class Titus takes in–
I SWORE I WOULDN’T REFERENCE KIMMY SCHMIDT TODAY (DAMMIT!)
Now I’m picturing Camp Hetero as a place queer teens go to ironically enjoy heterosexual culture for a couple weeks in the summer.
I think this idea is amaaaazing. (as a queer lady who likes mixed martial arts.)
I dunno, Camp Heterosexuality sounds like one of those creepy pray-away-the-gay joints.
It’s true “Camp Heterosexuality” sounds pretty suspect – but “Camp Hetero” sounds ironical, methinks.
This also reminds me that I am so so glad that here in Ontario we are finally maybe going to actually ban conversion therapy for kids.
I’m so glad I’m not the only one who did that at first. I was like, wait, a summer camp specifically for heterosexuals? Isn’t that just summer camp? And then I got it – campy heterosexuality.
-The tragically ludicrous? The ludicrously tragic?
-Oh, like when a clown dies!
I work in American musical theatre. We DEFINITELY use “camp” as a term.
…isn’t that how it’s being used in this headline?
Weird. I would say “camp” is definitely a well-known term in America. I never would have interpreted it any other way in this headline. Maybe it depends on how gay-friendly/adjacent you are?
Or academic adjacent.
We Americans have many things, we even drink tea here!
Gay Americans, definitely, and straight people would probably recognize an overt example, but it is generally a queer term/thing.
Nodded seriously way too many times throughout this list.
Wait, is this course just a semester long?
I believe it is life-long.
OMG, the Louis The XIV section alone would take up so much time. SO MUCH. I mean…I mean…the history of ballet? The history of ballet is one of the greatest, campiest histories ever. Imagine being a courtier in 17th century France, thinking you’re hot shit because you get to hang with the king. Only, when you arrive on the scene, you find out you have to sit through AND perform in 12 HOUR BALLETS. 12 HOURS. In amazingly over-the-top costumes. Dancing in precision. All about how your teenage ruler is “like, the most awesome king ever, you guys!”
I could do an undergrad in Stevie Nicks alone. Won’t someone please let me do an undergrad in Nicksian etholgy?
But then, you would have to content with the rival gang, the Mick Fleetwoodologists. I’ve heard they’re insufferable.
There’d be a three-week intensive course in the winter term just about men’s calves, leading into an independent study about how aggressively high heels are tied to whichever gender’s wearing them at the moment.
Zapp Brannigan.
Also yes.
And Sterling Archer.
The common thread here is clearly William Shatner.
DENNY CRANE. Actually, all of Boston Legal.
I came here to say that Joe Camel’s face closely resembles a wang and balls.
Carry on. Happy Friday.
Jean Kilbourne (author of Can’t Buy My Love) came and spoke at my school about advertising when I was a teen and she called him a rare example of the Australian Dickface Camel breed and that’s all I can think when I see him now.
Everything by Rodgers and Hammerstein
Moulin Rouge
The “Baby One More Time” video
Bye Bye Birdie
An essay about Stephen Sondheim’s insistence (until very recently) that the protagonist of Company isn’t gay. There must be dozens.
Oh my god, Bye Bye Birdie. So much to unpack. “Ed Sullivan!”
The first time I saw that, I thought it must have been a joke. Ann Margaret is possibly the most irritating actress/singer I have ever beheld.
Oh, great. For the first time one of my kids is following in my theater-professional family footsteps, and I’ve been forced to hid my glee and only talk with my siblings about it via text so as not to scare the kid away…and next week it premieres…and it’s Bye Bye Birdie. The kid is already excited because his buddy “is the guy who gets to punch the Elvis character, how cool is that?”. Now I have something ELSE I have to bite my tongue about!
I got at least seventy-three percent of my fashion sense from The Nanny, and I am not sorry.
I really wanted the piano skirt. (Who am I kidding? I STILL want the piano skirt!)
I first read this as ” a class on heterosexuality at camp” and the list still surprisingly made sense.
I did the same thing!
Fear of Intermarriage is basically why Jewish sleepaway camp is such an institution in this country, so yeah. Much Jewish heterosexuality occurs at camp. Homosexuality too but sssh.
One of the most …ironic? things in my life is that I am the product of an interfaith marriage, but my parents spent a lot of time making me socialize with other Jewish kids to the point that I got annoyed about it, and then I went and got engaged to a man I met at an event called Super Nerd Night, totally devoid of any religious context. He’s Jewish.
(He’s Sephardic, though, and my family is Ashkenazi, and everything is weird.)
Me too. There was a lot of heterosexuality going on at the little church camp I went to, plus some covert homosexuality.
This course would give me *life*! I’d gleefully write an essay on each. First homework assignment, please!
Does Lana del Rey fit into this somehow?
The Bachelor and The Bachelorette
Ugh those shows are so not good enough to be camp.
Burning Love!
More so the weird spin offs like Bachelor in Paradise. The RuPaul’s Drag Race of heterosexuality!
This also just reads a list of everything I love, excluding cats and garlic bread.
Seriously.
I am 100% here for this.
Cats are pretty damn hetero camp, tbh.
I love watching male cats respond to kittens.
“Oh! Oh hello! You are very small. So small that if you’re here, your mother is somewhere around here. I should go and hide posthaste. Take the food, it’s fine.”
Army of Darkness! Who else is excited for the new TV series?
If anyone wants to talk about the unsung hero of The Powerpuff Girls, Ms. Sara Bellum, I’ll be over here, twiddling my thumbs.
Andre 300 though, so much.
COOKIE LYON. Most of the Lyons, actually.
Honestly, all parts of EMPIRE that are not just Jamal and another gay person.
Everything else, even scenes including Jamal when another heterosexual is present, is overwhelmed by camp heterosexuality as Mallory is defining it here.
(For the record, I think this is wonderful.)
Exactly – everything but Jamal and another gay person is pure hetero camp on that show. I mean, blow job bib. I am so here for it.
I am always curious about how Schmidt is apparently supposed to read as straight??
Curious as how camp heterosexuality becomes so over the top performative that it actually becomes…….gay.
Top Gun definitely fits that category.
Wait, Top Fun wasn’t intentionally gay? I thought it was just really progressive for its time.
holy shit, I want to see Top Fun
I can buy his trying-too-hard brand of metrosexuality reading as straight …. it’s his lifelong abiding love for Nick that complicates things, I think. (Ihavealotofthoughtsonthistopic.)
Yeah I have a very straight guy friend who is SCHMIDT IN THE FLESH (for real it’s terrifying) He’s very SoCal (thus the food & fashion meticulousness) and very young Republican (thus the preppy and infuriating) and he’s always being mistaken for gay, which drives him WILD.
I’ve always thought of Schmidt as CAMP but he loves women. Like, looooooveeesss women. In an almost-childlike-he-should-see-a-therapist-about-this-probably? way. Thus why I’ve always been able to see him as straight. He couldn’t handle being in a relationship with an actual guy, it’d drive him *crazy*.
The Powerpuff Girls? “Him” was camp *something*, at least.
The Whitesnake video could really be expanded to “literally every music video made in the ’80s/early ’90s, possibly excepting only those by Pet Shop Boys.”
I don’t know – a lot of the New Wave videos were more about androgyny and being self consciously weird than they were about performing heterosexuality – ie Eurythmics, Boy George, Grace Jones, etc.
But I agree about the videos on the rock / metal spectrum in the 80s / 90s.
My final paper will be “The Bettys Boop and Page: An in-depth examination.”
This is making me question my sexuality.
The entirety of “Raw Ramp,” by T. Rex, but especially the lyrics “woman, I love your chests, ooh,
baby, I’m crazy ’bout your breasts.” Oh, Marc Bolan.
You need to get some sort of award for mentioning it, but idk if it counts as heterosexual, really. Isn’t it for people who at least pretend to be straight? I feel like something like Girls, girls, girls by Sailor or Bowie’s entire post 1982 career and image are more straightforward.
I’m trying to decide if it should concern me that this entire list could be used to describe my personal aesthetic/vibe
THE REAL WORLD LAS VEGAS. If that isn’t heterosexual camp, I don’t even know.
No Disney princess movies on the list??
I don’t see Seven Brides for Seven Brothers on this syllabus, and I am hurt and confused. Please help.
The Elvis Presley film canon.
Dennis Reynolds.
Please indicate on your class feedback form whether you think Dennis is still ‘a beefcake’ or is ‘in decline’
I read this as “Debbie Reynolds”. Still works, I think.
Can “The College Town You Teach In” be added to this syllabus? Becuase this college town I’m in pretty much exemplifies Camp Heterosexuality on Thursday, Friday, and Saturday night (and to a lesser degree, every other night of the week)
I love this list, but I have to take exception to Gaston as hetero. The whole “Gaston” song is just a bunch of men ejaculating beer all over each other as they paw his muscles and sing his praises. And Howard Ashman knew him some homo camp!
Still, love this.
Maybe Gaston is the liminal space between homosexual and heterosexual camp. Maybe Gaston is to camp what that dress thing was to color (TOPICAL!!!). What do you see, when you see Gaston? What does Gaston reveal about camp? How does Gaston both define and subvert camp?
I think I just wrote the midterm essay question.
When you look into camp, camp looks also into you.
Can I just say how much I love both Barbie and Ken in Toy Story 3?! The scene where she distracts him by having him try on clothes – so great.
Also –
Every Harlequin Presents ever published (this is the category line with the titles like The Billionaire Playboy’s Virgin Mistress).
Bon Jovi
Megan Fox, especially her men’s magazine interviews.
I just….I fucking love this list and actually I think the entire class should be taught with a very large image of Prince projected onto the walls at all times.
OH I just found out my coworker used to be a BACKUP DANCER for him while he was still smaller-time in Minneapolis. I think this is the closest I have ever been in degrees to an EXTREMELY cool person, let alone how cool my coworker is.
Johnny Bravo.
Taylor Swift
Game of Thrones for Honors track students.
Rob Gronkowski
The continent of Australia
ABBA!
This was worth the Whitesnake video alone.
Seriously though, Nick Jonas
When I saw this post my first thought was this insane Disney channel original song http://youtu.be/uL4ntL58hfk
Pretend I knew how to embed that
PERFECTION.
As I CLICKED, I thought “omg please be that song from that Teen Beach Movie” and IT WAS.
Joey tribbiani???!
American Pie: A Study in Stifler.
As the offspring of a camp heterosexual dad (he told me he tried out being bi for a while but found it wasn’t for him – good to know, Dad), I applaud your efforts.Camp heterosexuality is a thing, and sorely unidentified by most people.
Registered an account to add: The Wiz
Welp. You’ve more or less defined almost every parameter of my tastes, very well done, only a few absent moments of canon: Norma Desmond; the scene in “Whatever Happened To Baby Jane” when Bette Davis performs “I’ve Written A Letter To Daddy” to Victor Buono’s piano stylings; Claudine Longet’s affected lisp and relationship history.
Does The Rock referred to the Nick Cage/Sean Connery movie or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson? ‘Cause I think both are acceptable.
Ruby Rod
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsJKdxPwZdk
Ruby Rod
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsJKdxPwZdk
Everything that Missy Elliott has ever done, depending whether you believe the rumors.
Oh, great. For the first time one of my kids is following in my theater-professional family footsteps, and I've been forced to hid my glee and only talk with my siblings about it via text so as not to scare the kid away…and next week it premieres…and it's Bye Bye Birdie. The kid is already excited because his buddy "is the guy who gets to punch the Elvis character, how cool is that?". Now I have something ELSE I have to bite my tongue about!
MOOC this! NOW!
MOOC this! NOW!
The Rock (can he be a guest prof? SIGN ME UP.)
Doris Day/Rock Hudson musicals and all the old Bible movies with too much self-tanner.
Any gay performer unironically enjoyed by straight folks, pre-coming out. (see: the song Bennie and the Jets, George Michael’s painful masquerade of straightness that was the “Last Christmas” video, etc.)
Dane Cook (barf, but ugh, he’s indicative.)
BLACKADDER: SERIES 3. OMG.
Um, really any episode with Lord Flashheart in it, amirite???
Also, for the record….idk what it is that Russell Brand is doing, but I’m down for it. Just sayin’.
John Cougar Mellencamp, John Mellencamp, and John Cougar.
BE A MAN YOU MUST BE SWIFT AS– oh, hang on, you already mentioned Donnie. My bad.
(Seriously though, if he’d only ever done this song and nothing else, it would be enough. It would be more than enough.)
Bahaha,, extra credit for studying his URI appearance where he said he wanted to take Tebow’s virginity when asked who he would KMF (http://boston.cbslocal.com/2012/04/13/gronkowski-would-do-what-with-tim-tebow/)
I have have been waiting a long time for someone to reference Leave it to Psmith – that alone made my day
Thanks!
Can I suggest Morrissey's backing band and Dame Edna's talk show appearances?
Motion to add a study of the “Bloody Kisses” album by Type O Negative and Peter Steele’s physical appearance and vocal affect in general. Required visual text: Steele in “Playgirl.”
Phil Collins’s music.
Phil Collins's music.
The Holmes brothers in Elementary. They are like a pair of prize peacocks who learned all their poses from 17th Century fencing manuals.
I thought Sex and the City was about a group of gay men, played by women possibly as a tribute to Shakespearean theatre?
Mr. Big so obviously thought Carrie was his mistress.
I think about Charlton Heston’s unwitting participation in Ben Hur’s gay subtext ALL THE TIME