A Question I’ll Never Give A Straight Answer To

by Mallory Ortberg · April 20, 2015

panel
There are two pretty good reasons to look at this coverage of the Women And Humor panel at the LA Times’ Festival of Books this weekend:

1. I look powerful and compelling in the accompanying photo. In real life, Ann and Issa were just looking at me as one does during the part of a conversation where one is being silent, but in the picture they appear to be gazing upon me with love and approval, as if to say, “Here at last is a woman whom no one can criticize; here at last is a woman for the ages, whose carapace we will fashion with gold and with lapis lazuli, and who we will patiently let describe episodes of Futurama to us over the breakfast table, even though we have heard her describe these selfsame episodes before.”

2. This is a pretty sick burn, I look forward to hearing about widespread male unemployment among the ranks of late-night joke writers and everyone at Funny or Die as a result of this burn: “It’s just a tough question … because one of the things male humorists never have to do is define what is men’s humor. Are men funny? Which, I would argue, they often aren’t, but that does not stop them from getting jobs in comedy writing.”

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31 Comments

  1. Charlie +35

    My agenda for the day I finish my time machine: 1. Kill Hitler. 2. Go to this panel.

    Also, just a question: are there such things as non-sweeping generalizations?

      1. miprisci +137

        I would also like to submit that my above comment is a data point for the “No, men are not funny” side.

  3. turanga_leela +202

    I think the only proper answer to “Are women funny?” is “Of course we are. We are hysterical!”

  4. Emby

    I would also like to submit that my above comment is a data point for the "No, men are not funny" side.

  7. OliviaPJones +41

    Women are naturally funny and it is because of our shining exoskeletons which endow us with humor.

    1. LeastBittern +105

      As we age and consume the discarded carapaces, we get funnier and funnier. By age 45, women have consumed so many carapaces that their mildest jokes are toxic to men. That is why they must be kept from movies: the LD50 for dudes who have a “posse” is TWO jokes by a 48-year-old. That’s what they mean when they say “Betty White KILLED at the award awards.” She is too powerful to be stopped; many producers were lost that day.

  8. damanoid +94

    Now, according to the article, the question was not whether women humor writers* are different from men humor writers! The question was whether they differ from “other humor writers.” Not necessarily men! What about robot humor writers? Parthenogenetic clone humor writers? Humor writers fashioned from wood or clay and animated with blood sorcery? How do women humor writers differ from extraterrestrial humor writers composed of amorphous energy lattices?

    *”Humor writer”– is there a less ungainly term for this profession? Probably not. Well done, journal writer.

    1. OliviaPJones +52

      Ooh, good catch! Are women different from other, regular humor writers, like the ones made of recycled material instead of various meats?

      2. deleted182847 +13

        What if they’re recycled meat, like a garbage meatloaf?

        And is it garbage just because you found it in the garbage? Or is it not just food that has fallen from grace?

    2. Unreadaethel +40

      You can only get the best, most nutritious humor from grass-fed, free-range humor writers. Women’s hormones render their humor less pure, and more likely to have unforeseen side effects.

      1. foxinthe_snow +32

        Combine your grass-fed, free-range humour writer with coffee, almond milk, ice, coconut meat, dates, cinnamon, todos, Dandyblend, Cacao powder, cacao nibs, coffee grounds, vanilla beans, MCT Oil, and toffee stevia for a delicious Bulletproof* Humour Smoothie.

        Yeah, that’s right, a callback.

        *Immune to any criticisms about punching down not up.

  9. deleted182847 +7

    Were you wearing an “I Can’T Even Think Straight Funny T-Shirt Gay Pride Humor Tee”?

    (that’s the product’s formal name)

    1. deleted182847 +11

      Oh, wait, Amazon has that in the men’s clothing section. So, women still aren’t funny.

  10. Servo Academy

    What if they're recycled meat, like a garbage meatloaf?

    And is it garbage just because you found it in the garbage? Or is it not just food that has fallen from grace?

  12. Servo Academy

    Oh, wait, Amazon has that in the men's clothing section. So, women still aren't funny.

  15. Sea_Money +12

    Can we resume our campaign to Mallory appear on You Made it Weird with Pete Holmes? She’s funny and sassy and I want to listen to them talk about religion. This would make my life complete.