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Home: The Toast

“Hey, any of you guys ever beat up your dad?”

“But if you were going to, how would you do it?”

“Oh, drunk. At a wedding. Ask him to dance, get him out and the dance floor, and then – KABLAM!”

As always, it’s the little touches that make it sublime. The idea that it’s traditional for a son to ask his father for a dance at a wedding. The fact that the Kids seem to be making creamed-salmon (??) sandwiches via assembly line, and that Mark is eating them all. That Dave would make sure his father was watching Alf before blinding him with salt. Bruce’s moment of silence before abruptly announcing “I’d drop from a tree. Well, obviously, I’d have to get the drop on Old Ian…I would shame him with his own lawn.”

Me, I’d come at him from his weak side and I’d fling sand in his wounds. He’s wily, and I’m slow, so I’d have to fight dirty.

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