no I’ll definitely read it
okay but let me just give it to you now and then you can read it right away
and we can talk about the next time I see you
ahh thank you
you actually didn’t take it though
I don’t have anywhere to put it right now, sorry!!
okay I’ll just come over to your room and bring it by later
and I can watch you read it then
mmm
no, it’s um, actually
it’s actually a zither
not a flute
that’s a super common mistake but actually there are a lot of differences between zithers and flutes and I can tell you them
HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO RUSH
I MEAN REALLY LISTENED TO IT
hey I know you’re at work but do you have a minute because I was thinking about that thing I was telling you about earlier and I realized I totally forgot about the most important part about it that I had to tell you –
hey but I just
wait hang on
you just didn’t answer my question?
have you ever read Bukowski, because I honestly think that you should give him a try
come with us, we’re not done telling you about our spec script yet
hi ok so I know I died but I was like RIGHT about to cross over and I realized you never told me what you thought of that copy of Shogun I gave you to read?? because okay, like, Toranga’s military strategy is completely – hang on, I brought my old copy with me and I wanted to talk about page 331 with you –
and Lord, let me make it home tonight without anybody else I don’t know c –
no, Tim, look, there’s plenty of space over there
hey, hi, do you mind if we sit here? Thanks
Ms. Clarendon
gentleman
It would appear that you are at last disposed to be
agreeable
in so far as it would appear you have agreed to let the child go, I am willing to cooperate
You are then prepared to listen to us discuss “Close To The Edge” at a mandatory work party, then?
let my child go and I’ll let you play all eighteen minutes of it
[Images mostly via but also I found one by I think googling “interrogations in art”]
Tags: artwork, having fun at western art history’s expense, men talking
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lost it at the bukowski one
I love a lot of Bulowski poems, but that was amazing. Her expression is perfect.
i lost it at rush.
same! Bishops yelling about Rush FTW
Yes! Too real.
They do the Rush thing to guys as well 🙁
The look on the face of the woman in the “HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO RUSH” picture made me choke on my coffee.
Every Canadian woman has had this happen. Even Susanna Moodie.
That explains the undercurrent of rage in Roughing it in the Bush.
That’s my favorite for real tho
Mine too! I’ll tell you all about it1
The Rush guy’s face is 100% accurate
Even angels aren’t above mansplaining!
(btw can there please be a tongue-in-cheek 90s revival of Clarissa Explains It All, except it’s current-day Melissa Joan Hart running around wherever she lives and having dudes Mansplain It All? Because I really want that.)
#3, 100% accurate, every rush dudefan I have ever met.
So that bit in “I Love You Man” where Paul Rudd plays Rush for Rashida Jones is more of a documentary moment than a ‘movie’ moment, is what you’re saying.
The shadowy guy in the background of the Rush painting is definitely about to jump in to talk about how he follows Yes on tour.
“But, have you listened to Peter Gabriel Genesis? It was totally different from Phil Collins Genesis. You should listen to some Peter Gabriel Genesis, maybe you will like it then”
I am both laughing and cringing, here, because… I have BEEN that guy. (SIGH. I GOT BETTER.)
(Really, if you’re going to like Peter or Phil, it’ll be through their solo stuff. And if you get bored/curious enough, you MIGHT follow that path of works back to their old band, but you MIGHT not, and that’s plenty okay. Ahem.)
In conclusion, the Rush one nearly earned a spit-take from me, especially since I was roomies with a Rush superfan for years…
That middle paragraph is literally hurting me.
“and I can watch you read it then”
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Reading (unless aloud) was invented by the Goddess as a SOLITARY ACTIVITY, the only socially acceptable thing one can do in public that blatantly says “I am paying attention to something more important than you so don’t talk to me.” It is never a two-player event.
There’s this part of Zadie Smith’s NW when Leah intends to read, because reading is something you do silently and alone, as she explains. But then her mother wants to do it loudly and together. Listening to NW on audiotape, the mother breaking into her reading time by announcing headlines is comedic GOLD.
Oh the Bukowski one. Perfect.
I only hope to achieve that level of disinterest when men try to tell me how great Guns n’ Roses are.
The heaven-help-me expression in #4 vaguely resembles me so it is possible I am overidentifying but maybe not, p sure that’s my whole life
also the zither
that conversation happens between my interns a LOT, admittedly not re: zither, but definitely about all the Things that SmallManIntern knows and our other (female) intern does not
oh my GOD
I really want to see some examples of these conversations so we can laugh at them…
Me: SmallMaleIntern, I will need you to be dock patrol for an event so that FemaleIntern can run registrations.
FI: Sounds good, but just FYI, I’m also certified in CPR and a lifeguard, which hasn’t really come up before.
Me: Oh, awesome! Thanks for letting me know. It’s great that both of you have these certifications, given that we work alongside a river.
FI: Sure thing. I’m sorry I didn’t say something earlier.
SMI: But are you a professional rescuer CPR cert or just the regular one, because in my CPR class we learned [whatever x, y, z things] and in my lifeguarding class they made us learn [whatever a, b, c things] and–
FI: Yeah, that’s kind of… the entire class. Which is nationally standardized.
SMI: Well I’m just saying that my class was probably more rigorous and we covered WAY more than what’s on the regular test and–
Me: *facepalm*
FemaleBoss: *facepalm*
FI: *facepalm*
And then you drowned him in the river?
If ever a moment called for homicidal mermaids surfacing from the river to drag someone away to its icy, unforgiving depths, that would be it.
Really, it’s just a homicidal mermaids kind of a day.
“Hey, hi, do you mind if we sit here?”
YES, I MIND. SO MUCH MINDING. SO MUCH.
Of course my patron saint is the subject of 90% of these. Of course. I’m surprised there’s not one of them still trying to talk to her while she’s on fire.
https://thefreelancehistorywriter.files.wordpress…
him: CHECK OUT THE ENGRAVING ON MY NEW ACCESSORY
her: kind of busy now k
Who is the woman in “hey I know you’re at work but” and the “Shogun” one? Joan of Arc? (I assume that they are the same woman, plagued constantly with male incorporeal beings)
Several of these appear to be Joan of Arc, because she was a woman with Things To Do and didn’t have time to listen to all those men–whereas the role of most women in art is to listen to/admire/be menaced by/be rescued by the men. Or simply to look pretty.
And thus she had to be destroyed.
OR any time to read Shogun
(I read Shogun, don’t do it its four and a half years of your life you’ll never get back)
It’s nice to know that dudebros are not merely an invention of our modern times. I look forward to the year 2050 (knock on wood).
(Also the banner ad at the top of the page for me is for Christian Singles which is lolzy in itself).
Many of these appear to be Joan of Arc, who let’s face it, must have been the focus of more mansplaining than all of us combined.
deserving of sainthood for that reason alone, imho
Ergh, that makes being burnt at the stake look good in comparison.
I have felt for Joan my whole life (well, since I was made aware of her) and the freakin’ HYPOCRISY of the guys who are like “yeah, but you don’t REALLY talk with God, God is, like, Our thing. God told me so.yesterday”
THE HORROR!
TIM AND HIS UNNAMED FRIEND BEST WATCH THEIR NECKS
I have opinions on personal space.
Ha! “HAVE YOU EVER LISTENED TO RUSH?” Having grown up in a small steel town I heard that way more often than you might think. I finally did, out of sheer defense – “YES, ALRIGHT? I HAVE! HAPPY NOW?!”
Was it Hamilton? Because if it was then we are 100% the same. My current bf does not understand why I am a bit touchy on the subject of Rush.
#1–I’m pretty sure that this was the exact real intent of the artist. Look at the guy in the background hiding his snicker.
Guy in the background is giving THE BEST “…seriously? That’s your play? And you think it’s going to work out well for you?” look.
I have given that Half Smile and Drifting Hand motion as I run away so, SO MANY, times. So many.
Is that Rush-loving cardinal over 45 and from Buffalo?
Doesn’t the zither one also appear in “we are but poor simple shepherdesses” post? I appreciate the multiple perspectives from which Mallory interrogates the Western artistic canon.
The thing is, ok, I just got really in to Rush. Bear with me here.
And when people ask me why I say, “I’d *heard* Rush but I never *listened* to it.” Usually followed by a you-feel-me? look.
I guess I’m trying to say that Rush is amazing.
ahahaha the zither one +1,000
#5, her face says, “Lord, a few well-placed lightning bolts would be VERY APPRECIATED right now. Now. Right now. Please. Immediately if not sooner.”
See, and Rush ladyfans (like myself) just put in our headphones and enjoy the music. Rush fandudes are the annoying as shit ones. And they’re not even impressed when ladyfans know more about the Sacred Band than they do.
Not that I ever suffered through mansplaining of the various albums that I ALREADY KNOW THINGS ABOUT and pontificating about how Rivendell is the most perfect song they ever wrote, because of Tolkein (which is false; the 2112 Overture to Finale is quintessentially Rush) or had various bits of trivia thrown at me.
See also: beer.
god yes, beer mansplaining ugh
Though they can be easily silenced — I tend to like the “I’d like the stout/porter on the menu” move after having the process of crafting beer mansplained at me. Tends to work nicely and provoke grumbling about know-it-all uppity wimmins, which is still better than mansplaining.
That’s true. I also love it when they say “I just love [insert beer here] and I can be like “oh yeah, that kind of hops are so good” or “actually, i prefer that brewery’s [other beer]”… shuts them right up.
Can female Bukowski fans (like myself) come sit with you?
(Cygnus X-1, Book II for me, thanks.)
Honestly, though, I’m going to go ahead and defend the Rush dudes. I’ve certainly met a couple obnoxious ones, but I’ve had overwhelmingly positive encounters. Rush shows are among my favorite experiences–the caliber of the performances are outstanding, the band looks like they love what they do and who they’re with, the fans are perfect spazzes, and I can freak the fuck out and nobody’s bothered by it. Everybody’s just really psyched that everybody else there loves Rush. I don’t come across that ‘holier-fan-than-thou’ attitude that surfaces in lots of other contexts. I make excellent friends.
If you think Rush-splainers are insufferable, dare to ever, ever, say anything negative about Kurt Cobain. Apparently I just don’t understand music, really understand music. I can’t fathom the deep inscrutable pain of the 90’s middle class white male teen and that’s why I don’t appreciate good music. He just spoke to them, you know, really spoke to them.
Joan looks like she’s practically begging to be burnt at the stake to escape the Bukowski guy.
and Lord, let me make it home tonight without anybody else I don’t know c –
Reminds me of that Sarah Caudwell novel where a young woman finds herself at one of those parties, and unknowingly ingests a piece of fudge which proves to be “rather special.”
“She cast off all conventional restraints and devoted herself to the pleasure of the moment.”
I asked for particulars of this uncharacteristic conduct.
“She took from her handbag a paperback edition of Pride and Prejudice and sat on the sofa reading it, declining all offers of conversation.”
There’s plenty of room in those sleeves for orange-dress lady to have similarly provisioned herself.