Women Trying To Politely End Conversations With Men In Western Art History -The Toast

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mm yes
this anecdote is so much more interesting than my needlework, thank you
i hope someone beats you to death with your own walking stick
please go on


that’s very interesting
oh, that’s very interesting
THAT’S very interesting
that’s VERY interesting
that’s very INteresting
THAT’s VEry INteresting


i can’t reach my book without having to talk to him


no, please, drink
your mouth must be so thirsty from telling all these dour stories
it’s bad for your health to tell so many stories out of your mouth without putting something back in your mouth in exchange
so you should drink quietly for at least as long as you were talking to me
for your health
for your mouth health


have lunch outside, i said
surely they won’t follow us outside, i said
we could serve lunch in our own graves and they’d still lift up the tombstones to tell us about the act of the exchequer court


“That sounds like a very difficult job. How ever do you manage?”
thank christ that should buy me at least a half an hour
no man in the world has ever disagreed when a woman says his job sounds difficult


backing away?
i’m not backing away
maybe you’re the ones who are
forwarding toward
maybe that’s what’s going on


oh darling i’d love to sit and join you
but as you know i have a
sitting condition
as do all the women in my family
so instead i have to stand and also leave


oh, shitting fuck
Cora’s already pretended to fall asleep
now all I can use is smile and pull the “oh, you” elbow to the chest and hope i push him hard enough he gets the picture

“Hahahahaha, oh, you, Jeremy!”


girls, quiet
laughter only disorients and frightens it
you could startle him into rearing up and flying right off the piano bench

no, that’s horses
oh, you’re quite right


are you sure you couldn’t sing a little bit louder, Robert?
yes it’s such a lovely song
couldn’t you sing it just a little bit more loudly for us


triple hells, this wall still isn’t high enough
what’s that, darling?
i said
damn this cursed wall that separates me from you
if it weren’t for this wall i could be in your arms listening to your ideas and opinions about things all the time
instead of alone
in these beautiful woods
with a basket of flowers,
by myself
enjoying the quiet

hating this beastly quiet
which i hate


as I was saying, if Roger thinks I’m going to sign it, he’s got another thing bloody well coming –
oh, no
what is it?
David, darling
i think i’ve got another attack of hysteria coming on

shall I call the doctor?
just leave me
leave me to my hysteria bench

isn’t there something i can do?
i wouldn’t want you to catch it

is hysteria contagious?
can’t take the risk of finding out, David
can’t be too careful
you’ll have to tell someone else this very interesting story while I wait for my hysteria to pass


that sounds so INTERESTING, doesn’t it, Claudine?
oh my yes, i’m extraordinarily INTERESTED in it
yes please, go on, do
it’s so terribly interesting

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