Joe Manganiello is living proof that the reader-response theory is the truest form of literary criticism.
Reader-response theorists share two beliefs: 1) that the role of the reader cannot be omitted from our understanding of literature and 2) that readers do not passively consume the meaning presented to them by an objective literary text; rather they actively make the meaning they find in literature” (154). In this way, reader-response theory shares common ground with some of the deconstructionists discussed in the Post-structural area when they talk about “the death of the author,” or her displacement as the (author)itarian figure in the text.
Joe Manganiello, a gift that God has given all of us with both hands, has written a book about transforming the body using the power of the mind. This is all well and good. Joe Manganiello has transformed his own body using the power of his mind. Therefore the system works. He is the experience that proves the theory. His mind transformed his body; there are no barriers; the tautology is doxology.
Joe Manganiello, who has as much face as eight lesser men, who was not born of woman but broke through the granite crust of Mount Rushmore to bring a message of physical fitness and luxurious hair treatments to he people, has read Ayn Rand’s The Fountainhead. His takeaway from reading this book was to quit his job and work in a quarry.
I had always loved the book The Fountainhead by Ayn Rand, which is loosely based on the life and personality of the famous architect Frank Lloyd Wright. At one point in the story, the protagonist’s personal life and career as an architect completely implode. He is forced to close his office, and he decides to take a job breaking rocks all day at a quarry. I was always confused by and in total awe of that gesture. The fact that this highly trained, brilliant architect would lower himself and take an entry-level manual-labor job had perplexed me for years. Why would he do that?
Joe Manganiello, rising softly from his bed in the night, careful not to disturb the river-nymph lying beside him, punching holes through pine trees and weeping at a pitiless sky, asking Why? Why, Howard Roark? You could have taken a top job at any fictional architectural firm in the country. What did you seek, in the quarry?
I decided to find out for myself.
YES. YES, OF COURSE YOU DID, JOE MANGANIELLO.
I took a job at a masonry company working long days, shoveling sand and gravel from seven in the morning until four in the afternoon. In my mind, my acting career was over. No one would return my phone calls, and I’d been rejected by every agent and manager in town. There was something about driving the truck in the morning, picking up my orders, and shutting off my brain and shoveling for hours.
Are you picturing Joe Manganiello as the star of an Objectivist, live-action version of Mike Mulligan And His Steam Shovel? For ah my foes, and oh my friends, I am picturing that.
Slowly but surely, I began to understand why the hero in The Fountainhead took the job at the quarry. The monotonous, repetitive physical labor was a cleanse of sorts for my head and my soul. I was alone in my bubble every day finding out exactly what I was made of. I was taking inventory and digesting everything I had been through. I still thought my dream of an acting career was over, but in the meantime, I was going to be become the greatest shoveler, cement mixer, and jackhammer operator of all time.
Bless his heart with a thousand blessings. Joe Manganiello read The Fountainhead and the conclusion he drew from it was “Work at a quarry until you become Happy.” And he did, and it worked, and now it can work for you, too. You jittery, self-conscious neurasthenics plagued with imposter syndrome; you palpitative neuralgics riddled with Office Skin and cigarette-induced self-doubt, you big-city atheist lypemaniacs; all of you can benefit from the Ayn Rand Workout Plan.
I can only imagine the publicity tour for this book went something like this:
INFERIOR PHYSICAL SPECIMEN: “Joe Manganiello, what is The Fountainhead about?”
JOE MANGANIELLO, THE HUMAN MANIFESTATION OF STICK-TO-IT-IVENESS: “How people should work in quarries, I guess.”
If any one of you dares to tell Joe Manganiello otherwise – if a single one of you hopped-up dandies with immoral facial hair attempts to sully the blank purity of Joe Manganiello’s mind with further explanations or philosophies – I will have you crushed to death. With rocks.
The ultimate moral of Objectivism is this: Crush as many rocks as you can, professionally. Joe Manganiello understands this, and he has achieved the body he desires.
Before enlightenment, crush rocks. After enlightenment, crush rocks.
Tags: ayn rand, fitness, joe manganiello, literary criticism, please do not ask for more enlightened thoughts from joe manganiello he is doing his best, reader-response theory, some slightly misapplied buddhist quotes, the fountainhead, work in a quarry
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I live across the street from a quarry. Should I go over there and tell them I’m looking for the meaning of life and ask if they’re hiring?
Does that mean we have Ayn Rand to thank for Magic Mike XXL?
“Ayn Rand’s Magic Mike XXL” should be a thing.
If I were try this, I would end up with a 72 hour non-consensual commitment.
“If Joe Manganiello Were Your Boyfriend” is the logical next step, right? Or “Ayn Rand’s Magic Mike XXL”?
Yes.
OMG The Fountainhead rears its ugly head once more. I once wrote a treatment for a parody called “The Dick-Head”
(I was so very young)
I THINK I JUST IMPLODED AT “OBJECTIVIST LIVE-ACTION VERSION OF MIKE MULLIGAN AND HIS STEAM SHOVEL,” STARRING JOE MANGANIELLO.
discovering so many new and slightly disturbing feelings right now, k thnx.
I would 100% watch that movie.
I have never loved a novel so much that I decided to make the same life choices as its characters. But maybe that’s just because my favourite author is Nabokov, and I’m not about to kidnap a 12-year-old, or start a romantic/sexual relationship with my own brother, or illegally enter the USSR to impress a girl (it’s kinda too late for that last one by now). Otherwise who knows what literal or figurative quarries I could be digging my way through right now?
I would go with Bulgakov – if I could have a cat that would carry firearms, that would be so cool.
Did you know there’s a statue of Behemoth in Kiev?
Yay!
Is he sitting on the kerosene burner? 😉
One of my Neko Atsume cats is named Behemoth – the black one, of course.
I’ve never read The Fountainhead, and now I don’t have to. Thanks Joe Manganiello!!!
This was truly an act of public service on Joe Manganiello’s part. He should receive an award of some kind.
Also, I just now realized that I’ve been spelling his name wrong in my head for YEARS.
oh my GOD this is beautiful
I feel like there are a couple of things Joe Manjello is probably good for/at. Life philosophy does not immediately spring to mind.
There are a few moments in Magic Mike XXL where he tries to think and you kind of just want to pat him on the head (which admittedly would require me to stand on tippy toes. On a step stool). Play to your strengths, Joe. Like, say, in that convenience store scene.
That is the most wonderful misreading of a book I have ever read. Could not have happened to a better book.
Joe Mangianello thinks that The Fountainhead is the same story as Office Space.
<3
…are you saying it isn’t?
Ummm if he was taking life lessons directly from The Fountainhead I’m kind of scared for any women hanging around that quarry.
Make an objectivist’s head explode – quote Mangianello about the meaning of the Fountainhead. When A Man begins to explain the true meaning to you, say “well, that’s what I thought it was about too, but then alpha male maker Joe Mangianello explained that it was about working in quarries so who am I, a silly emotion-driven women, to argue with him?” Then they will have to decide whether to side with a woman’s correct opinion or a completely off-base alpha male’s opinion.
This is genius.
I’ll have you know I scrupulously pluck all my immoral facial hair out. When I sully Manganiello’s purity of mind, no trace of hag-beard will be found on me.
What should he read next? Joe Manganiello needs a reading list!
Moby Dick is about skinny dipping. Any other suggestions?
Well, I read Atlas Shrugged, and I think it is just about riding trains around the country, and then maybe finishing up with a vacation in a valley?
The Lord of the Rings is a pretty great novel about hiking
The Incredible Journey is about how you should microchip your pets.
You forgot to mention that it’s an acapella group that does all the hiking.
<3 <3 <3
Oliver Twist is about the importance of working hard and being entrepreneurial from a young age.
Any smart quarry operators want to quickly rebrand themselves as a sort of rock-oriented Outward Bound?
No, the Rock Hard Gym! They could follow the Joe Manganiello workout! For a small monthly membership fee, jacked dudes could come and work in the quarry until they achieve happiness, or at least a good workout.
Had to write about Joe Manganiello’s book for work (we do event ads for Barnes & Noble in-store appearances). Disliked the cover and whined about it just enough that the lead designer for ads made me a gif of it flexing. This was over a year ago. I still have the email saved.
Pics or it didn’t happen.
I don’t think he’s wrong though- that’s not a great cover. He looks like he’s all out of proportion and proportion is Very Important to body builders. (At least, that’s what I got from eavesdropping the natural bodybuilder who sat on the other side of my cubicle wall. I could totally be wrong.)
Ayn Rand’s Magic Mike XXL:
Employee: mike did you think about that thing I asked you about
Mike: YOUR EXPECTATION THAT I PROVIDE FOR YOUR WELLBEING FROM THE PROCEEDS OF MY OWN ENDEAVOUR MARKS YOU OUT AS AN INFERIOR SPECIMEN IN BOTH MIND AND BODY, CRAVENLY ATTEMPTING TO GAIN ADVANCEMENT AND BENEFIT AT THE COST OF ANOTHER MAKER’S STEELY INDIVIDUAL EFFORT
then the next bit is pretty much the same but with ‘pony’ replaced by ‘engine’
And then that same exchange a bit later, except with Mike and Rome instead of Employee and Mike.
Joe should probably also check out Ayn Rand’s Anna Karenina at some point, in which a weak and parasitic female-type woman eventually submits to her rightful mastery by a powerful steam train.
From the blurbs listed on Amazon:
“This book will give you real results. I was able to put on 10 pounds of muscle in one month. Listen to this Joe—he won’t let you down!” (Matt Bomer star of USA’s White Collar)
I am now so curious at what Matt Bomer thinks of Joe’s critical analysis of Objectivism.
They graduated together from Carnegie Mellon. I love when castmates are IRL friends.
and let me tell you something about the objectivist posters on every inch of the student center when we were there…..
Oh, bless his heart. The world would be a much, much better place if every man that had a transformative experience reading The Fountainhead went to work in a quarry. Just think of the abundance of Very Nice Arms. From your lips to God’s ears, Joe.
I need this book because I am a big city atheist lypemaniac. Actually, that whole sentence applies to me. Quarry, here I come.
To be very extremely honest, I am so burned out at my office job and I feel like he may be onto something.
“Someone’s got a case of the Mondays!”
“I fucking hate that guy!”
Yes, yes, Howard Roark is an archetype with its end point in Jack Reacher, this all works.
I don’t need to read Joe Mangianello’s book or even look at the cover to tell you how the mind transforms the body. tl;dr time:
MIND: Hey, pick that weight up.
BODY: OK.
M: Now put it down.
B: Got it.
M: Now pick it up again.
B: No prob.
M: Put it down again.
B: On it.
M: Pick it up again.
B: Hey, boss, I know you’re the boss and all, but I’m starting to get a little tired.
M: Yeah, and you’re going to get a lot tired before we’re done. Thing is, though… you know that thing you like to do?
B: You mean that thing?
M: No, the other thing.
B: You mean the other thing?
M: Yeah, the other thing.
B: Man, I love doing that thing!
M: Well, you keep picking this weight up and putting it down and you’ll get to do that thing. A lot.
B: All I want?
M: Pretty much, yeah.
B: All fucking right! [picks up weight]
Ah, bless his Secretariat-sized heart.
Ah, bless his Secretariat-sized heart.
Unproven Theory: The Toast would not exist if not for Mallory’s hate-love-hate relationship with The Fountainhead.
Unproven Theory: The Toast would not exist if not for Mallory's hate-love-hate relationship with The Fountainhead.
I can relate to his decision. After reading Hellblazer for a while, I bought a trench coat.