Hot New Fandoms

by Matt Lubchansky · August 5, 2015

What are you a fan of? I bet it’s not very cool, at least not anymore. I did some extremely deep digging on the website all the teens are using and I’m here to report back the COOL fandoms to be a member of, as of 8/5/2015, 2:00 PM EST. This is a complete list. Other fandoms are null and void.

1991 Albert Brooks classic “Defending Your Life”

1

Those lil waving cats

2

2003 Satirical Novel Wigfield: The Can-Do Town That Just May Not, which sold literally tens of thousands of copies

3

Some drill lubricants, the ones that smell cedar-y

4

2002 The Sound of Urchin album You Are the Best, that you and your friend Griffin got when his older brother found it on the street in Union Square

5

celebrities dressed like minions

6

 

That is all.

 

 

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39 Comments

  1. ppyajunebug +72

    How to sell your new product:

    1. Make sure it smells like pine/cedar
    2. Write post on Tumblr about how you found said product and it smells just like Tom Hiddleston/Richard Armitage/Chris Evans/the fandom man of the moment
    3. ?????
    4. Profit

    2. rangiferina +14

      I’ve heard random people in real life (on the street, in the elevator at work) talking about that very same tumblr post and it is the weirdest feeling ever.

      1. DonutFemme +18

        My dear friend told me, with no context, that she had bought the Chris Evans candle and proceeded to whip out a really basic Yankee Candle? It was very confusing.

    3. SarcasticFringehead +26

      I first heard about the whole boyfriend candle thing like a week ago, and I have to say that the official Yankee Candle tumblr’s game is On Point. They should teach a master class on how to engage with people on social media without condescending to them or pretending that you exist for any other purpose than to sell something.

      1. Erica_Stratton +9

        WAIT WAIT WAIT! YOU ARE TELLING ME THAT ABSURDLY FAMOUS POST WAS WRITTEN BY AN INTERN AT THE YANKEE CANDLE COMPANY RATHER THAN A COMPLETELY INDEPENDENT PERSON??????????????

        MY LIFE IS A LIE! :'(

        1. SarcasticFringehead +13

          No! Don’t worry! Someone independent of Yankee Candle wrote the original post, but the Yankee Candle tumblr picked it up, and has posted/reblogged various things from people who found the candle in stores etc. (Unless it’s all a very long con, and they faked the original post, which would demonstrate a level of internet sneakiness that I find implausible).

      1. ppyajunebug +8

        You know, I actually got to meet him at Comic-Con this year, but I was too busy freaking out/trying to tell myself to be cool to register what he smells like,

        But I can say he’s even more awesome in person and he’s ridiculously nice.

        1. pairofbuttons +5

          nope nope nope – Pretty sure I would not be able to tolerate him at close range. Like a beautiful mushroom cloud, best viewed from afar

  2. fireblargg +23

    How does Matt know about me and my friend Griffin? Let alone Griffin’s older brother.

  3. flying_ghoti +75

    You should probably take this post down now, because it’s 2:19 EST and is woefully out of date.

  4. turanga_leela +37

    The best day of my life was in my 30’s when I realized I do not have to go see the summer blockbuster movies if I do not want to see the summer blockbuster movies.

    *shakes head* “Kids these days!”

    1. OliviaPJones +40

      It’s amazing how quickly people move on from each BEST MOVIE EVARRRR! I have saved so much money and disappointment by just watching whatever I want and staying pretty quiet when the subject of movies comes up at parties.

      The one exception to this is of course Mad Max: Fury Road, which I still adore with a passion even if everyone has moved on to Magic Mike XXL or what have you.

    2. Yarnybarny +14

      I really like seeing them a few months/years later (usually getting them from the library for free) and being like: Everyone was going crazy on the tumblr over that?!

      Tumblr friends, you’re better than that. We are all better than that.

      1. turanga_leela +4

        I do that, too. Netflix is the best and a whole lot cheaper than going to the theater. Plus I make better popcorn.

  5. dorianneemmerton +15

    I read Wigfield years ago, as I’m sure many people who watched Strangers With Candy did. Does that make me a hipster?

  6. April Dee +20

    Wait. Wigfielders is not a new fandom. There are literally hundreds of us! Ok, so maybe like a couple dozen. Ok, so maybe it’s just me.

    Alternate names? Wigfield Girls. Wigfield Follies.

  7. Daniel_Loo +27

    We have a neko cat in our home, obviously just for the cool factor since it doesn’t seem to be doing its job, which is allowing untold riches to flow through our front door

        1. LadyPoopjokes +26

          Great, my cat’s an embezzler. I should never have bought her that tiny adorable necktie.

      2. GruntledDave +11

        You gotta teach the real cat to sit up and wave its paw for hours on end. That’s the secret. The only people ever to do this were Oprah Winfrey and Bill Gates.

  8. daisymerolling +17

    I AM A TEENAGER AND THIS IS 100% TRUE
    only TRUE Wigfielders watched Strangers with Candy first.

  9. anniekate76 +10

    Defending Your Life is a great movie plus it teaches you not to get distracted by technology in your car and not to be afraid of anything ever.

    1. Girl Named Jack +5

      Love that movie so much. My mom is still looking for the breakfast he gets at the diner.

  10. owlbrick +4

    I mean, I’m just saying, but Marvel Mystery Oil *does* smell pretty damn amazing.

  11. Frumiosa +21

    Rule 34: Celebrities Dressed like Minions is a whole kink subculture, you have no idea.

  12. Emily +10

    Ever since I found out that Minion Porn was a thing that existed(because of course it does-this is the world we live in), whenever I see or hear the mention of minions, I become so uncomfortable and sad I want to crawl out of my skin and disappear.