We have all heard at this point that there is going to be a Gilmore Girls revival on Netflix sometime in the next year or so. It may be good (WHAS reunion) or it may be embarrassing (Arrested Development reunion). I do not care. I have modest but specific hopes for it: namely that Amy Sherman-Palladino incorporates the passing of actor Edward Herrmann into the series by making Emily Gilmore a late-in-life lesbian.
After, of course, an appropriate mourning period; I do not mean to suggest that their love was not real and enduring. But it would suit her, I think, suit her exactly right down to the ground. Think of how much she would love getting the chance to shock Lorelai, for one thing!
“It’s called late-in-life lesbianism, Lorelai,” Emily would say sharply, “and I certainly would have thought you of all people had heard of it.”
“It’s not that I haven’t heard of it, Mom,” Lorelai would start. “I just never thought –”
“Never thought your boring old mother, reliable old Emily Gilmore, could do anything you couldn’t do? I know what you think of me, Lorelai. Well, it may interest you to know that you don’t know everything about me.”
“Mom, it’s not that, honest, you just took me by surprise, for a minute.”
“And she’s from a VERY good family, so I’d like it if you could at least wear gloves to dinner this Friday night.”
Think of the stunt casting! Julianne Moore! Angela Bassett! Michelle Pfeiffer! Jada Pinkett-Smith! Jane Seymour! Rosie Perez! Susan Sarandon! Ellen Barkin! Chita Rivera! Gina Torres! Diana Ross! Jessica Lange! Raquel Welch! Each one of them frostier and grande-dame-ier than the last!
“Lorelai, I would like you to meet Meredith Rolfe [played by Iman], of the Virginia Rolfes. She is my lesbian companion.”
“Mom, you can just say girlfriend.”
“I certainly can NOT. A Rolfe, of the Virginia Rolfes, my GIRLFRIEND? They’re descended from Pocahontas. They’re the closest thing this country has to royalty. Honestly, Lorelai.”
They met at the club/at the beauty salon/at the DAR’s annual lesbian orgy/use the same maid service/hired the same ice sculptor/dedicated the same wing of a hospital and they both reached for the christening bottle of champagne at the same time. Every week a new society girlfriend, every week a brilliant new guest star.
“And they aren’t matching pantsuits Doris and I are wearing, Lorelai,” Emily would say. “They’re color-coordinated. Matching is déclassé.”
I am all for this. Also, casting-wise, would Diane Keaton be a possibility?
Nothing has ever made me happier than this post.
I haven’t wanted anything this badly since the Rory/Paris Femslash Friday, and I’ve only watched a season and change of GG.
I haven’t watched any of it, and yet I want this.
#Gellmore IS ENDGAME.
My brother is 100% sure that the series will end with the lesbian wedding we’ve all been waiting for, and the “elusive last four words” of the show will be Rory saying “I’ll always have Paris.”
I pray he is right.
Headcannon accepted
I’m only going to watch it because I liked Sherman-Palladino’s Bunheads so gosh darm much
Yessssss
This is canon. This is the only version of New Gilmore Girls I will accept. Also can we retcon Lane’s marriage and pregnancy. Ok thanks bye.
I would be perfectly happy if the show acted like Lane’s marriage/pregnancy just never happened, without any attempt at an explanation. Just don’t even acknowledge it.
Much like how the show just doesn’t even attempt to explain where her father is.
They do. He’s in Korea and he and Mrs. Kim had sex exactly once, hence Lane.
A fever dream brought on by something something Seventh Day Adventist College?
I hope you’re getting your packet ready to send in for this revival. Your voice is desperately needed in this project.
Also Michel gets a boyfriend and Taylor gets a boyfriend but they are different boyfriends (and certainly not each other) and neither of them is dating Kirk.
The fact that Michel is supposed to be straight is still the most baffling part of Gilmore Girls. And that’s saying something…
Wait, I thought I knew everything about this show. Was he really supposed to be straight? Celine-loving, fancy-dog-having, enmeshed-mother-relationshiped, impeccably-styled Michel is supposed to be straight?
YES, but it didn’t feel like they were consciously trying to ‘subvert stereotypes’ so much as they were afraid to have an out gay character!
Well apparently they WEREN’T ALLOWED TO! But for Sookie, not Michel! http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/06/gilmore-…
AT the end of that piece she says if the show happened today, “everyone would be gay! Lorelei would be gay!”. The revival is the chance to make this happen, ASP!
One thing I’ve never understood about the claim that having queer characters was impossible is that Willow came out of the closet in the same year GG premiered. Would it really have been impossible to have a character come out (*cough* PARIS *cough*) at some point in the 3rd or 4th season?
It really shouldn’t have been impossible, but execs often make ridiculously conservative choices in hope of appealing to the broadest audience. I remember when the show came out it was billed as being a family show, while Buffy was always meant for an older audience. Gilmore Girls was initially partially funded by the Family Friendly Programing Forum, so that could explain it too. Which, ugh.
Maybe it came down to a matter of which show runner had more power/pushed harder with their execs? The FFPF funding explains a lot but it’s a bit of a stretch to say that Buffy was meant for an older audience. Most adults dismissed it as a silly show for teen girls when it first came out. I also suspect that GG would have drawn in an older audience simply because one of the two protagonists was in her late 30s/early 40s.
Yeah, I think it explains really well why Michel wasn’t openly gay in the first episode/season, but by Season 4 they were very popular and could have pushed for it if they wanted to.
And even Buffy had its constraints – Willow and Tara aren’t shown kissing until a whole season after they get together, and the network initially tried to have the scene cut (Whedon refused).
And they originally planned to have Xander as the gay character and tie it back to Larry coming out to him but were concerned that the network wouldn’t allow it. Gay men were (and are) seen as more explicit then lesbians. I think gay Xander would have been a much better character than straight Xander.
Okay, I see now that I didn’t refresh soon enough and was beaten to the punch. I always thought he was gay, made some ironic “the ladies” comments, and that the whole aspect was treated like it was no big thing, like just who he was. Kind of like how Sookie is overweight but we never, ever hear people talk about it because it’s not something to be mocked or that needs to be commented on. How weird to learn I was a little wrong.
Oh and Michel was also black and that’s not every mentioned not once I’ve double checked
Yes and I liked that too.
I mean, I can think of great reasons those things could have been talked about and handled well, but I also like that a lot of people just were who they were and didn’t have to talk every little difference to death. Which is remarkable considering all the talking done in that show.
WHY AREN’T THE PEOPLE OF THE TOAST WRITING THIS SERIES.
OR AT LEAST CONSULTING.
ASP, WE PROMISE IT WON’T BE LIKE SEASON 7. WE WOULD NEVER HAVE DONE THAT TO LANE.
Also, if it were up to us, Dean and Christopher would have been revealed to have been having a secret love affair and get taken out by a random act of a vengeful god because they are THE WORST.
it took me a while (not owning or having access to tv) to figure out why I had an intense hatred for “Supernatural.” Until I figured out that the Big Dumb Longhaired One was the Big Dumb Longhaired Awful Boyfriend, at which point my revulsion became the most obvious, natural thing in the world.
It took me many seasons of watching “Supernatural” to stop thinking of Sam Winchester as Rory’s Stupidest Boyfriend. 100% worth it for Dean/Jensen Ackles though.
This comment is pretty much the encapsulation of why I love The Toast so much.
Really, to be utterly perfect, all it’s missing is an appropriate (or not, who cares) Hamilton lyric.
I guess you could say you’ll never be satisfied.
/builds a statue commemorating this reply
“Seventeen, s-s-s-seventeen, s-s-s-seventeen, seventy six.” There.
DO NOT UPVOTE MALLORY’S TROLLING.
I will absolutely upvote Mallory’s trolling of Hamilton comments. I have literally been spending less time in the comment sections on this website because they inevitably get taken over with Hamilton lyrics/in-jokes and it irritates me. I know this website has turned into a Hamilton Safe Space where all the internet can descend and profess their love of that musical, but goddammit people. I am cranky and am overreacting.
Lol, I support you then in your expression of protest. I know, it does suck when a favorite place gets overrun with something you don’t care about. It’ll pass in time — or become increasingly confined to Hamilton-specific threads, as so-and-so sees the musical, so you’ll just have to avoid expanding those specific threads.
😀
“Well Mom, you shouldn’t be living in sin. Let’s hop down to Jersey for a quickie marriage and make it all right in the eyes of the Lord”
“Why in God’s name would I go to New Jersey for anything?”
“Everything is legal in New Jersey”
*drops mic*
EVERYTHING IS LEGAL IN NEW JERSEY
/furious applause
Your tone was perfect, Mallory. I could hear Emily and Lorelei’s voices. But I don’t think Emily has ever requested gloves for dinner.
Anyhoo, I was going to argue that I know Emily loves the D but then I realized I was being totally 2005 about my attitude and letting bisexuals be invisible, which is Wrong.
Yeah, because you don’t wear gloves while you are eating, as Emily would definitely tell you.
MICHEL IS SUPPOSED TO BE STRAIGHT??
YES
THEY HAVE HIM SAY HE’S DOING THINGS “FOR THE LADIES”
IT MAKES LITERALLY NO SENSE, APPARENTLY HE’S SUPPOSED TO BE A ~DANDY~ BUT I DON’T THINK THAT WORD MEANS WHAT ASP THINKS IT MEANS
Maybe. It’s ambiguous according to ASP: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/06/gilmore-…
Jane Seymour.
Now I need Jane Seymour to be SOMEONE’S late-in-life-lesbian revelation, even if it’s not Emily Gilmore. But it should be Emily Gilmore.
Get in line, Emily Gilmore.
I mean, Jane Seymour in Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman was pretty much my early-in-life-queer revelation at about age 7, so yeah.
Yep, same here (after Mary Martin in NBC’s Peter Pan). Was totally obsessed with Dr. Quinn at that age, too? The theme song still makes me teary.
I know we all dream of Paris and Rory but given Paris’s predilection for older lovers I could completely board the Paris/Emily ship.
Ohhh my goodness. Paris’s personality would not be welcome at DAR meetings. Think of how often she would embarrass Emily by refusing to express her hatred through miniscule slights and tiny, cutting put-downs. Think of the shenanigans. I would not be content with a side plot in a GG revival; this needs to be an ENTIRE SHOW.
OMG perfect.
All I want is for all three Gilmore Girls to be single and dating at once. Preferably at least one of them non-heteronormatively and one non-monogamously. Friday night dinners would be so much more enjoyable if they could all weigh in on each other’s Tindr swiping. Rory could to explain to Emily that what she and Virginia are doing is what the kids today call Netflix and Chill. Lorelei could be in a tizzy trying to untangle the verbage surrounding poly relationships.
you are a brilliant flower and indeed a smart cookie
I am here simply to add Rita Moreno’s name to the casting suggestions. Thank you.
SHE DATES A THIRD CHARACTER PLAYED BY MARION ROSS
omg *dead*
JANE SEYMOUR AND KELLY BISHOP
OH MY GOD
WORLD’S FIRST CASE OF ACTUAL PHYSICAL MEDICALLY DOCUMENTED HEART EYES RIGHT HERE THANKS
Wait, but PLEASE can we also have a dalliance between her & Mrs. Kim? Think of the GRUDGING SEXUAL RESPECT they would have for one another.
The looming threat of Mr. Kim’s return will only make it all the spicier.
But IS that a threat? I always assumed Mr. Kim was dead. Am I forgetting some minutiae of Gilmore lore?
She’s still “Mrs.” and people mentioned Lane’s parents in plural sometimes. I always he got stuck in an alternate dimension or something.
I prefer to think that Mrs. Kim keeps him chained in the basement because he crossed her at some point.
Mallory every day I love you just a little bit more.
Hahaha but maybe you inadvertently just came up with the best coupling ever – Emily Gilmore and Lucille Bluth! At first they are sworn enemies, vying to be queen of Hartford’s social elite. But the heat and chemistry between them can only be denied for so long…
this is CLEARLY the only logical conclusion yet i did not realise that until today
can the revival also include the “reveal” (not really a reveal if everybody knows it I guess) of why all Rory’s boyfriends are terrible, which is because you have to plant a new boyfriend every year under the lintel of every Stars Hollow woman-owned business to keep the quaintness from flaking and chipping and to keep your SBA business designation current. Nobody knows from year to year whose boyfriend will be chosen for the sacred duty so it is important to choose a terrible one just in case it’s you, so you don’t feel too bad.
this is also why Lorelai put off dating Luke for so long but then just said fuck it, let him in the lottery why not. you can also take it as the explanation for nearly every female character’s tepid gestures at heterosexuality and in particular Lane’s and Sookie’s otherwise inexplicable choices.
THIS MAKES SO MUCH SENSE. I think I love you.
JACKSON IS A TREASURE YOU HUSH
he horrifies me to the marrow of my bones
bury him in his own vegetable field, let him talk to the roots and send messages up the vines to beg for air until all air is gone. talk away, jackson. the earth is your wife now and has all the time in the world to burrow into your ears and nestle in close to your opinions.
every fall one specially lumpen rutabaga grows and Sookie says it has Jackson’s nose and makes it the harvest centerpiece.
lorelai is too squeamish even about Annual Jackson Rutabaga so sookie doesn’t tell her the potatoes grow in just the shape of Jackson’s slumped shoulders. the mashed potatoes always have a little fillip of ineffectual yappy flavor to them, nobody else can replicate it. sookie says it is the sorrel and green garlic but that’s not it.
The weirdest part of this news is the sudden revelation that everyone hates Jackson. I like Jackson! (I’m ignoring the vasectomy thing.)
Do they sacrifice them to Taylor?
Miss Patty would inevitably hear of Emily’s newfound lesbianism and regularly regail her with tales of “sapphic dalliances” involving everyone from Marlene Dietrich to Lauren Bacall.
Emily would not discourage her.
OH MY GOD, Miss Patty + Marlene Dietrich anecdotes is my new favorite thing.
We need to start a petition to get them to include this!
But why not a sapphic dalliance between Miss Patty and Emily
THINK BIG, PEOPLE
I’ve thought about Miss Patty talking about Marlene Dietrich and about the possibility of a sapphic dalliance between Miss Patty and Emily. Your comment and femaelstrom’s are making me feel less alone in my weirdness.
Also I assume Mallory’s completely accurate, absolutely canonical Rory/Paris pairing will be included in these episodes.
Yes, but they are forced to keep it a secret for a few episodes because Rory feels like she can’t come out so soon after Emily does. Déclassé.
I’m writing this in my head as we speak. Gilmore Girls 8×01: A Friday night dinner scene where Emily and Rory both have “something important” to announce. Rory and Paris go first, and are met with one of Emily’s BONE-CHILLING little utterances of “Oh.” (You know exactly what I’m talking about.) She is cold and standoffish through the rest of the evening/episode, and Lorelai and Rory assume that she’s being homophobic. At some point, Rory cries because she thinks she won’t have either of her grandparents at her wedding. (Oh my gosh, I’m making myself so sad now.)
Gilmore Girls 8×02: we learn that Emily was just MAD AS HELL that Rory’s announcement stole her thunder. Lorelai storms over to confront her, throwing her coat to the latest maid, who tries to stop Lorelai from barging into the den….where she finds Emily in flagrante Netflix-and-chill with her latest sapphic dalliance.
Boom. Hire me, ASP.
Yes. This exactly. That “Oh.”
Emily Gilmore went to Smith College. I feel like this should be taken advantage of for her coming out story. Maybe she attends her 50th reunion and reconnects with an old friend she’d lost touch with. It turns out this friend is a lesbian and distanced herself from her old life after college when she came out. She’s now a U.S. Senator.
Emily thinks back to their constant companionship and late night study sessions, and how that all seemed to end without her meaning it to, once she started dating that handsome Richard boy from Yale her junior year, and she sees it all in a new light.
Maybe there’s a scene where she attends a tea for LGBT alumnae and is appalled by the variety of facial piercings and hairstyles sported by the younger generations. And, goodness, the manners. They ate the baked brie with their bare hands!
They “ate the baked brie with their bare hands,” hmm?
(I’m sorry I’m sorry.)
Jane Fonda, in full Grace-and-Frankie style. Plus there could be a hilarious crossover where Frankie got to make jokes about being the only one not to have a sexual revelation later in life, and how you totally would have thought she would, if anybody would.
I didn’t even like the show but I might make an exception for this plot development.
Was just thinking fondly last night of Edward Herrmann’s guest appearance on M*A*S*H.
This might be a bridge too far, baby steps, but I could see Paris finally being diagnosed with gender dysmorphia. He wouldn’t have to change his name, and could live with his older lover, Eduardo.
They’d refuse to marry until the entire world accepts gay marriage and trans rights, and Paris would lecture people at parties about how marriage is an outdated concept that is ultimately meaningless in an enlightened society.
you should pretty much never say the word “diagnose” when you’re trying to describe coming out as trans
I was not aware of that, I thought I’d seen referral to gender dysphoria being diagnosed. Thanks for letting me know!
I walked into the common room today and my girlfriend was wearing the same color sweater. and black leggings.
After this followed long refrains of “They’re not MATCHING, they’re COLOR-COORDINATED”
LORELEI, THERE’S NOTHING FUNNY ABOUT BEING A LESBIAN.
I can’t believe it took so long for someone to post that quote!
I don’t remember that but do remember that little kid who compulsively told everyone that his mommy is a lesbian.
It’s at 2:24 and it’s perfect because it could be read multiple ways. I choose to believe Emily is reprimanding her daughter for making a cheap joke at the expense of the other.Gilmore Girls: 7 Seasons of Emily Being Disapproving
Gilmore Girls: 7 Seasons of Emily Being Disapproving
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Oh Christ, Mallory, you’ve skewered it so perfectly, it’s just … canon. Whenever I watch it, if this does not happen, I’ll just be like nup don’t believe it lala Emily and her lesbian companion lala
Would also be amazing if Lisa Weil’s character from How to Get Away with Murder meshed with her character as Paris, and came back to Stars Hollows to recuperate after a “messy” career as a lawyer.
Emily would take to the Boston Marriage like a duck to water, and she would never call it that but all her friends would.
Christ, I think just reading the list of possible co-stars (Julianne Moore, etc) made me 10% less straight.
Jada Pinkett Smith? That’s effing BRILLIANT.
You need to submit this to A S-P right this minute. Tell her the Toasties are behind it and I’m sure she will get the importance. I heard Emily’s voice PERFECTLY reading your dialogue and now this must happen
‘ Think of the stunt casting! Julianne Moore! Angela Bassett! Michelle Pfeiffer! Jada Pinkett-Smith! Jane Seymour! Rosie Perez! Susan Sarandon! Ellen Barkin! Chita Rivera! Gina Torres! Diana Ross! Jessica Lange! Raquel Welch! Each one of them frostier and grande-dame-ier than the last! ‘
Almost all of the women on this list are Lorelai’s age, not Emily’s. Emily Gilmore would NEVER date out of her age bracket.
Also, can we talk about the fact that Keiko Agena was 27 years old playing a high school student when Gilmore Girls premiered in 2000? She’s 42, now…and sadly, both evidently straight and married to a man. All the good ones…
BOSH. Lauren Graham is in her 40s; Kelly Bishop is 71. Julieanne Moore is 54, Angela Bassett is 57, Michelle Pfeiffer is 57, Jane Seymour is 64, Chita Rivera is 82, Ellen Barkin is 61, Diana Ross is 71, Jessica Lange is 66, Susan Sarandon is 69, and Raquel Welch is 79! Gina Torres and Jada Pinkett-Smith are the only two women in their forties. This is a VERY age-appropriate list, BOSH to you.
Jane Seymour.
Now I need Jane Seymour to be SOMEONE’S late-in-life-lesbian revelation, even if it’s not Emily Gilmore. But it should be Emily Gilmore.
Jane Seymour.
Now I need Jane Seymour to be SOMEONE'S late-in-life-lesbian revelation, even if it's not Emily Gilmore. But it should be Emily Gilmore.
I’ve never watched Gilmore Girls; this has made me want to do so.
Also, can it be Jessica Lange pls?
I had no idea how much I wanted this until now.
Freaking Toast is the best. Why are you all not in charge? WHY???
I was not aware of that, I thought I'd seen referral to gender dysphoria being diagnosed. Thanks for letting me know!