GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: Crush your enemies. See them driven before you. Hear the lamentations of their women.
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.

 

GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: Never getting yelled at, even once! Never getting yelled at, even if it means never speaking to someone again, or stifling your own feelings, as long as it means that getting yelled at literally never happens.
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.

 

GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: NEVER HEARING CRITICISM, WHETHER JUSTIFIED OR OTHERWISE, EVEN IF IT KEEPS ME FROM PERSONAL GROWTH. DEEP, ABIDING PERSONAL COMFORT.
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.

 

GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: NEVER HAVING TO EXPERIENCE DISCOMFORT REGARDLESS OF THE EFFECT THIS HAS ON THE PEOPLE AROUND ME
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.

 

GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: BEING LEFT ALONE UNTIL I NEED SOMETHING. BEING LEFT WHOLLY UNACCOUNTABLE, FINANCIALLY, EMOTIONALLY, AND PHYSICALLY
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.

 

GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: NEVER HAVING TO BE CONFRONTED WITH THE COUNTLESS THOUGHTLESS AND UNCONSCIOUS WAYS I HAVE HURT PEOPLE I KNOW
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.

 

GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: THERE’S JUST SO MUCH OF EVERYTHING AND I DON’T WANT ANYONE TO EMAIL ME BACK AFTER I’VE EMAILED THEM BACK
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.

 

GENERAL: We won again! This is good, but what is best in life?
WARRIOR: The open steppe, a fleet horse, falcons at your wrist, and the wind in your hair.
GENERAL: Wrong! Conan! What is best in life?
CONAN: I FEEL A LOT OF PRESSURE TO SOUND SMART WHEN I’M CALLED ON PLEASE LET ME SUBMIT FEEDBACK AFTERWARDS IN WRITTEN FORM
GENERAL: That is good! That is good.