There Is An Entire YouTube Channel of Teen Boys Reviewing Cigarettes -The Toast

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Screen Shot 2014-02-26 at 8.59.37 AMIf this is not art, then nothing is art.

If this is not art, then nothing is art.

If this is not art, then nothing is art.

RealCigReviews is a YouTube channel with over 1000 subscribers that has not posted a new video in more than a year. The channel’s proprietor has reportedly quit. What remains, however, is a back catalog of more than 40 reviews by a group of teenage boys of different brands of cigarettes.

The reviews run about ten minutes long — the boys are nothing if not thorough — and every episode sees each teen smoke a representative of each brand from start to finish (excepting Djarum Blacks, which are notoriously long-lasting). Most episodes are set in a garage in front of an American flag hung lengthwise; a few take place outside and are accompanied by the soothing sound of crickets. All of them are deeply Zen. The boys talk quietly among themselves, light up a cigarette, and smoke in silence before describing the cigarettes to us, their faithful audience.

One of the boys — he usually sits to stage left — wears two bandanas in almost every video, one on his head, and one around his neck. In three of the reviews, he is inexplicably not wearing a shirt.

On Djarum Blacks (featuring guest star Ian):

“The taste is amazing.”

“Yeah, the taste is amazing.”

“The taste is amazing, it’s not like any other cigarette.”

On Camel Crush:

“Yeah, this is the first pack I bought when I was eighteen, we’ve all tried these. I actually skipped school to go buy these.”

As one commenter points out, “These guys are chill as fuck.” A little before 2:00 on the Camel Crush video, Two Bandanas (who is, confusingly, not wearing any bandanas) puts on “Mississippi Queen” by Mountain, which his friend declares “some classic shit.”

“We’re into all types of music, honestly.”

“My dad actually told me about this band. Uh, he saw them live — I don’t know when — but he said it was the best show he’d ever been to. So I had to check ’em out.”

Please do not mistake my wild enthusiasm for irony here: I love these little dudes so much it makes my heart ache. I want to roll myself up in masculinity and muscle tanks and live in a garage smoking cigarettes with them and talking about music and our dads until the Last Trump sounds.

When the brand in question is Kools, a young lady joins the boys. Her name is Lindsay. She doesn’t smoke.

The channel features only one non-review video (although it does feature smoking); it is a Megal Gear Solid tribute.

It is seven minutes of silence — broken only by the music from Metal Gear Solid — as the boys smoke in the fashion of Snake from the opening sequence.

If this is not art, then nothing is art.

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