“Mallory Ortberg, cofounder of the Toast, sold a currently untitled short story collection to Henry Holt. Allison Adler took world rights to the book, which marks Ortberg’s debut fiction collection. Ortberg helped launch the Toast, a literary and pop culture website geared to women, in 2013; this year she was named Slate’s “Dear Prudence” advice columnist. Kate McKean at Howard Morhaim Literary represented Ortberg and said the stories in the book feature ‘subversive twists on classic tales.’”
HOW EXCITING.
Can’t wait!
oh my GOODNESS how exciting!
I saw Kate McKean speak at a publishing event and she went on my list of dream agents. Congrats!
She is also my agent, and she is THE BEST AGENT IN THE WORLD.
IF SHE’S SO GREAT WHY DON’T YOU WRITE A BOOK NICOLE
YEAHHHHHH NICOLE WHY
Reported for bullying!
I hear this is how Flaubert’s business and life partner guilted him into writing Madame Bovary. To please his amazing and caring agent.
YAY
Woooooo!!!!! I’m so pumped!!!!
IT’S GONNA BE SO GOOD!
AHHHHH
MALLORY THIS IS EXCELLENT NEWS
OH YAY MALLORY WILL CONTINUE TO RUIN OUR SLEEP AND HAUNT OUR DREAMS
(congrats and pls try to come to San Diego on the book tour kthxbai)
Woo-hoo! Sometimes someone who actually deserves to be successful succeeds and it is wonderful.
WILL THE LITTLE MERMAID MADE HORRIFIC, OR SIMILAR, BE IN IT
dude little merms is already pretty horrific, thanks HCA
This is glorious news. Congratulations!
BEST NEWS BEST NEWS
Congratulations, I cannot wait to read it and buy it for EVERYONE
this time we’ll get you to DC on your book tour. It’s got to happen.
YES, PLEASE!
YEEEEEESSSSSSSS
Thrilling! Mallory, you write great horror, and I’m super-excited to get my hands on this.
will you be going the caftan or fur coat direction for your author photo, and do you have your 2ft-long cigarette holder ready
i’m not sure what else Serious Fiction Writers have in their author photos. herds of king charles spaniels? enormous black-rimmed glasses?
(Congratulations, also!)
Congrats, and AWWWW YISSSSS!
YAY
Exciting news! Congrats!
It really IS Christmas time NOW!!!!
tell me about the Audible edition! tell me you’re reading it yourself! join the halls of Roger Zelazny and Douglas Adams in reading your own shit and please avoid the halls of Roger Zelazny and Douglas Adams in dying far before your time, I don’t think I can handle any more dead authors
yesssss, this is excellent news all around!
How lucky we are to be alive right now!
Problem: how am I going to give this to everybody I know as Christmas presents on Friday if this isn’t out yet? Will I need a time machine? I can get a time machine.
aaahhhhhh CONGRATULATIONS MALLORY. YOU ARE TAKING OVER THE WORLD WITH ONLY NINE TOES
Mallory, this is fine but when you are going to write a hard sci-fi novel?
YES PLEASE
WOW COOL no I’m not jealous why would you ask that even.
Congrats.
Congratulations! Such excitement!
Suddenly today and also the future is 381% better
Fabulous news! Congratulations x 1million.
I feel like your 2015 has been better than maybe anyone else’s 2015 and I am happy to live in a world where that’s true. Congrats dude!
HAIL MALLORY, QUEEN OF THE INTERNET
(omg so excited)
Yay! You rock, Mallory!
GONNA READ THIIIIIIS
Congratulations! Will it be available in Australia? If so how many times will it be appropriate to be seized by mortal terror while reading?
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
(high pitch continuous whine of excitement)
Okay, I will definitely be buying this immediately when it becomes available, but please please please tell me it will actually be called The Merry Spinster? Because if so, I will be buying 50 copies and giving them to everyone I know/putting a copy on every surface of my apartment.
You’re killin it, Mallory!