Women Resting Miserably In Western Art History -The Toast

bed5

hold the handkerchief a little higher, dear
you’re very nearly touching me

bed6

why don’t you all just crawl in here with me
jesus i can’t even die alone

bed7

even shirtless lounging doesn’t help anything

bed8

wait
come back
i’m thirsty and i don’t want to get up

bed9

perfectly comfortable, thanks for asking
this is how i like to relax
with literally all of my weight resting on my right elbow

hammock1

wheeee
is that enough
is that what you want
you vulture

hammock2

why bother moving
nothing else will be any more comfortable

hammock3

uuuugh

hammock4

i don’t deserve spinal support

[Images via here and here]

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.

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+30 Vote up Vote down

JGlows 120p · 474 weeks ago

These are all like me when I have an IV put in. It makes me feel cold and icky and I can't rest.

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1 reply · active 474 weeks ago

+79 Vote up Vote down

rawrbook 125p · 474 weeks ago

Oh dang, I think I've been reclining in hammocks wrong all my life.

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1 reply · active 470 weeks ago

+51 Vote up Vote down

Alucius_ 136p · 474 weeks ago

Lute guy looks ready to seize his moment there

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6 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+115 Vote up Vote down

Scared_Vagina 117p · 474 weeks ago

For real though, I love this kind of art because it's the place I most often see my own body shape in female subjects. I get a real shock of like whoa, that human looks just like me! I thought I was the only one!

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2 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+76 Vote up Vote down

mkpatter 114p · 474 weeks ago

All of these are me, except maybe the first one, which is clearly that woman in the bed is dying and her husband is currently fucking the nanny in the chair and had a kid with her, but they're all just pretending they're a big happy family.

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+20 Vote up Vote down

F.F.Fox · 474 weeks ago

Great, now I want a hammock to lie miserably in, the couch and the bed just won't cut it anymore. uuuuugh

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1 reply · active 474 weeks ago

+22 Vote up Vote down

malfoy · 474 weeks ago

@#5: Potter!

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10 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+9 Vote up Vote down

chsar 0p · 474 weeks ago

For #2, did they move that poor woman's bed outside?!

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+37 Vote up Vote down

tabbylavalamp 149p · 474 weeks ago

I'm thirsty and I don't want to get up.

Yup.

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4 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+9 Vote up Vote down

irishbreakfasttime 128p · 474 weeks ago

that ruffly lacey dress in that rope hammock, I am itchy just looking at it!

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+37 Vote up Vote down

jimmyjimjimjim 113p · 474 weeks ago

Look this is just my face alright? I'm not miserable, nothings wrong: I just don't feel the need to contort my face into what you think looks like pleasure when I'm relaxing. This isn't a glower, it's just sunny out and nobody has invented some sort of sunglass yet.

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+22 Vote up Vote down

Frumiosa 141p · 474 weeks ago

#2 is totally thinking "Fucking Wonderwall."

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+55 Vote up Vote down

telophase 124p · 474 weeks ago

I am currently sick with a sinus infection and a terrible cough that means I can't lie down so I spent last night propped up in a recliner with our younger cat draped over me and I'm just saying every single one of these speaks volumes to me right now.

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1 reply · active 474 weeks ago

+24 Vote up Vote down

myownprivatenetherfield 114p · 474 weeks ago

I am just really happy that wiki/Category:Paintings_of_women_in_hammocks exists. I didn't even know I needed this level of specificity in my life but there you go. Opening doors, Mallory.

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+13 Vote up Vote down

mydonkeyfeet 103p · 474 weeks ago

I can't figure out Spinal Support Lady's legs. Is she wearing white leggings with bare feet? Does she have white legs and brown shoes? White stockings with brown shoes?

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5 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+12 Vote up Vote down

deleted7541601 123p · 474 weeks ago

#5? That's a man!

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2 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+14 Vote up Vote down

spectra37 94p · 474 weeks ago

Shirtless lounging very often solves at least a couple of my problems. I can see why she'd try it before succumbing to despair.

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+31 Vote up Vote down

maccrocodile 144p · 474 weeks ago

perfectly comfortable, thanks for asking
this is how i like to relax
with literally all of my weight resting on my right elbow

Is it just me, or is this one actually Kevin McDonald in exquisite period drag?

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2 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+16 Vote up Vote down

rosemarybush 126p · 474 weeks ago

Yes, these were all me when I was sick in bed a week ago.

Except for the part where they sleep with their arms over their heads. Who does that?? Oh wait, that's right. My husband does, because that's how I wake up to a random smack in the head in the middle of the night when he tries to roll over. (It's only happened a couple times, honestly, but still. NOT COOL. Either sleep on your back with your arms crossed on your chest like a mummy or on your side curled up like a cat. You know, like normal people.)

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+10 Vote up Vote down

Orla 114p · 474 weeks ago

#3 i dreamed of this thing called "air-conditioning" and I woke up to find it hasn't been invented yet.

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+48 Vote up Vote down

Pola_Negroni 129p · 474 weeks ago

"I'm thirsty and I don't want to get up" is pretty much 80% of why I'm in a relationship with the other 20% being "I want tacos but don't want to put on a bra."

No regrets.

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+7 Vote up Vote down

Es_Petal 120p · 474 weeks ago

I AM ALL OF THESE WOMEN RIGHT NOW.

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+20 Vote up Vote down

Terp · 474 weeks ago

As a figure model I'm pretty sure I've mistakenly done all these poses and ended up making all these faces.

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+26 Vote up Vote down

bookwormV 119p · 474 weeks ago

Looking up the source of one of these paintings led me to one of the most ridiculous pictures I've seen yet: https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Hans_Thom... I don't know what's going on here, but I'm alarmed.

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3 replies · active 474 weeks ago

+5 Vote up Vote down