“Things Didn’t Work Out (And That’s Okay)”
“LA Is Full Of People Who Just Want Everyone Else To Also Succeed”
“I Used to Be Anxious About Flying But Now I Take Xanax When I Travel”
“I’m Glad We Communicate So Effectively Because I Think It Has Really Strengthened This Relationship”
“Here’s A Narrative About Three Seemingly Unconnected Characters Who Feel Sad For A Bit But Then Decide To Go Have A Picnic In The Park Together”
“It Just Is (So Great To Run Into You Unexpectedly At This Party)”
“War Is Unpleasant So I Try Not To Dwell On It Or Its Effects On The Human Psyche”
“I’m Upset With You But I Don’t Have Anything Bitingly Witty Or Acerbic To Say To You, Actually”
“We Are Pretty Well-Adjusted Despite Having Achieved Unwanted Fame At An Early Age”
“Sometimes In The Morning I Am Petrified And Can’t Move (But Then I Realize It’s Only Because My Cat Fell Asleep On My Chest Again)”
“My Mom Really Tried”
“You Are What You Love (Which Makes Me A Latte On A Crisp Fall Day)”
“A Man/Me/Then Jim All Went To IKEA To Pick Out A End Table”
“I Never Felt So Wicked As When I Played That Harmless April Fools Day Joke On You Last Year”
“Let Me Back In (And We’ll All Go For Ice Cream)”
“Baby You’re Bad News (And We Should Probably Start Seeing Other People)”
“Hail To Whatever You Found (In The Dollar Zone Section At Target)”
“Sometimes Parents Aren’t Always There For Us But We Like Them Anyway”
“Death Isn’t Scary To Think About, Not At All”
“This Song About A Hunting Accident Probably Doesn’t Contain A Metaphor For Abortion”
“Advances in Technology Are Not To Be Feared And I’m Not The Least Bit Concerned About Robots Invading Human Society (Or My Heart)”
“Living in LA Never Makes Me Feel Sad or Alone”
“Go Ahead (And Have a Second Piece of Pie, Why Not?)”
“I’ve Only Ever Had Jobs That Were Mentally Stimulating And Creatively Challenging”
“Being On The Road Can Be Lonely But Luckily I Have a Pretty Great Support Network of Friends and Loved Ones”
“This Is Not A Song In Which The Narrator Is Having An Affair With Her Best Friend’s Husband”
“Sometimes I Have Dreams About My Childhood But They’re Not Worth Writing About Because I Reflect On Those Days With Fondness”
“Maybe God Exists And Maybe Not, But Either Way, Let’s Not Worry Too Much About What Happens When We Die”
“I Hope My Ex Is Happier and More Fulfilled In His Next Relationship”
“Women Don’t Have A Harder Time Establishing Themselves In The World Than Men Do, It’s Probably A Pretty Similar Experience”
“Runnin’ Around (Tryin’ To Find You The Perfect Birthday Present)”
“Well, You Left (Your Keys On The Counter Again, Silly)”
“I Never (Want To Make My In-Laws Feel Left Out So Let’s Invite Them To Go On Vacation With Us)”
“The Absence of God (Is Probably Just The Manifestation Of The Feelings Of Loneliness We All Have At Times, No Big Deal)”
“So Long (And Thanks For All The Good Times, I Wish You Nothing But The Best)”
“They Say California Is A Recipe For A Black Hole And I Say That Seems Like An Unfair Assessment”
“I’ve Never Had An Existential Crisis, Have You?”
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(image via)
Mallory, have you considered putting together a volume of writing prompts?
I’m dying I’m dead now I used to drive around howling to The Execution of All Things, I don’t regret it, but this is amazing
I have done this too. To be fair, it’s a great album to car sing to.
Used to?
“Does He Love You (And ‘Is He Faithful To Your Monogamous Relationship’ Are Both Important Questions To Which The Answer Is Definitely ‘Yes’)”
*dies a thousand times*
“I Should Find Someone Better For Me (And It’s Great That We Can Be Grown Up About This And Mutually Move Forward)”
“She Was Only 15 (So I Gave Her a Snow Cone and Bus Fare Home)”
“I’m Only a Woman (But Things Have Worked Out Fine So Far)”
“I do this thing where I think I’m real sick / but a prompt doctor’s exam quickly reassures me”
Love this one! Also would add “I’m Already an OK Son/Daughter (But Sure, We Could All Strive to be Better).”
I listened to “More Adventurous” on repeat for a year and many times since then and only now just realized “Accidental Deth” is about abortion.
I HAD NO IDEA.
wait what I am really bad at knowing what songs are about
This is as good a place as any to get this off my chest.
Regardless of whether or not accidntel deth is about abortion, cougars don’t nest, right? Why is there somebody in a cougar nest?
I did not catch this one either. At all.
ME TOO BUT CHANGE ONE YEAR TO 12.
Pure speculation on my part, I assure you!
Man, the Toast is really checking all my boxes of random interest today.
I don’t actually know this artist but:
“Sometimes In The Morning I Am Petrified And Can’t Move (But Then I Realize It’s Only Because My Cat Fell Asleep On My Chest Again)”
It me.
This has only been live for <1 hour and I’m deeply offended that no one has sent it to me on Facebook yet.
ME TOO! Like, I didn’t post it on my wall because I assumed someone else would, and everyone has LET ME DOWN.
“There’s Blood in My Mouth (But I’m Sure the Dentist Will Find the Source of the Problem)”
I appreciate this list so much. I also have to give a special shout-out to the original “Better Son/Daughter” for being the most perfect description of my depression I have ever come across in any medium, right down to the sleep paralysis (which is not technically depression-related but when I was in the hypersomnia stage of things, it happened a lot)
These all sounds like songs from a She & Him album.
You Say Sadness Never Once Has Chosen Me And Maybe You’re Right Because I’m Quite Content
“I Can Do the Frug, It’s Really Fun, Perhaps Your New Girlfriend Would Like Me To Teach Her So She Doesn’t Feel Excluded”
And I Can Watch TV
“My Mom Really Tried” made me lol.
“Jenny, you’re barely alive, you sure are a heavy sleeper!”
“85 was our best year, it rocked”
“I am my body and I would never destroy it, it’s a temple”
“You’re the right amount of emotional, and the light of your mom’s front room is welcoming and pleasant”
“You’re supportive for a healthy person like me”
Sorry, this article is almost too relevant to my interests for me to handle.
Havin’ a lot of teenage feels at the moment. When I see my BFF in a couple weeks Ima make him get tipsy and listen to Rilo Kiley with me. By which I mean, get the ball rolling and then beg him to switch bands after two hours of nothing but Rilo Kiley.
Anyways, Double Check Plus. Would nostalgia at again.
Let’s get together and talk about the modern age.
I think you said “hey, we’re all ready?”
Well then, I’m happy for you, but
it’s hard to leave when I haven’t seen you in so long.
I don’t mind waiting if it takes a long, long time
(and sometimes when you’re on, you’re really fucking on), and your friends
pretend all the good things for you.
In my dreams, I see you at the foot of a mountain,
And I hope that you
don’t fool yourself into thinking you’re more than a man.
It’s so fucking beautiful,
and that’s how I choose to remember it.
Any chimp can play human for a day and
get a real job,
and then there is no mystery left.
When I found out we lost you,
I wept much. (We all do.) I thought I might die alone, but
planning’s for the poor. So let’s pretend that we’re rich.
It’s just your death (your accidental death).
I’ve been trying to nod my head, but
now that we’re all dead, we can finally talk.
I’m sorry I’m hard to live with, but
today is the day I realized that I could be loved.
anybody else stop about a 1/3 down to go turn on some rilo kiley?
*dies a thousand times*
My freshman roommate and I would sing songs from the album to each other, but she always sang, "And if you want me/ You better speak up/ I won't wait/ So you'd better move fast… ly." She could not stop herself.