Bible Verses Where The Word “Worship” Has Been Replaced With “Skin”

by Mallory Ortberg · April 11, 2016

Exodus 5:3

So they said, “The God of the Hebrews has met with us. Please, let us go three days’ journey into the desert and offer skin to the Lord our God, lest He fall upon us with pestilence or with the sword.”

Exodus 8:25

Then Pharaoh called for Moses and Aaron, and said, “Go, give skin to your God in the land.”

Exodus 34:14

For you shall skin no other god, for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God.

2 Kings 21:3

For he rebuilt the high places which Hezekiah his father had destroyed; he raised up altars for Baal, and made a wooden image, as Ahab king of Israel had done; and he brought skin to all the host of heaven and served them.

2 Kings 23:1

Now the king sent them to gather all the elders of Judah and Jerusalem to him, to restore true skin.

Job 1:20

Then Job arose, tore his robe, and shaved his head; and he fell to the ground and was skinned.

Psalm 22:27

All the ends of the world shall remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations shall be skinned before You.

Psalm 95:6

Oh come, let us skin ourselves and bow down; Let us kneel before the Lord our Maker.

Hosea 6:6

“For I desire mercy, not skins, and acknowledgment of God rather than burnt offerings.”

Isaiah 66:1

[ The Difference Between True Skin and False ] Thus says the Lord: “Heaven is My throne, And earth is My footstool. Where is the house that you will build Me? And where is the place of My rest?

Jeremiah 1:16

I will utter My judgments against them concerning all their wickedness, Because they have forsaken Me, burned incense to other gods, and skinned the works of their own hands.

Matthew 4:9

And he said to Him, “All these things I will give You if You will fall down and skin me.”

Acts 17:25

“Nor is He skinned with men’s hands, since He gives to all life, breath, and all things.”

Mallory is an Editor of The Toast.


14 Comments

    1. Unreadaethel +17

      I rejoice in the breadth and depth of expression that can be found in Mallory’s name, depending on caps/lowercase, punctuation, and number of repetitions.

      MALLORY

      mallory

      Mallory

      MALLORY!!!

  3. TmanFate

    Some of those censored verses make God sound like a guy who wants nothing but skin or somebody who wants us to potentially kill other gods. Like Kratos did.

  4. VioletandIrises +13

    I finished re-watching Buffy season 6 yesterday and started season 7.

    I don’t even want to read the word “skin.”

  7. rituleenreads +40

    by giving skin you mean a high five right
    God in this context is just a cool dude who popped a sick wheelie and wants you to give him some skin

  8. rdhingra116

    by giving skin you mean a high five right
    God in this context is just a cool dude who popped a sick wheelie and wants you to give him some skin

  9. halloweenjack64 +5

    The thing about skinning gods makes me wonder what powers a divine leather jacket would have. Maybe that’s how Fonzie was able to turn on the jukebox without putting in a dime.

  10. Halloween Jack

    The thing about skinning gods makes me wonder what powers a divine leather jacket would have. Maybe that's how Fonzie was able to turn on the jukebox without putting in a dime.