ByAlix Johnson

Alix Johnson is a PhD candidate in anthropology who studies states, surveillance, and secrets. She is currently living between Oakland and Iceland, and this is the first thing she's written without footnotes and references cited.

  1. In mid-October I memorize my sexual assault. Over breakfast each morning I marshal memories into order, flipping through flashcards in my mind. This is what came first, then this came after. There were these words, then those hands, then that smile. I make a game of it and play it all day: for each cigarette I smoke I have to practice my story, but each time I go through it I get to smoke again.