By Asher Gelzer-Govatos

Asher Gelzer-Govatos lives in Tulsa, Oklahoma, where he corrupts the minds of future generations with the ideas of weirdos like Socrates, Nietzsche, and the Marxes (Karl and Groucho). He runs the culture site The Erstwhile Philistine, and has written for various other publications.

  1. Stan Sloane: Welcome back everyone to Mile High Stadium. We’re here near the end of a very tense fourth quarter, with the score tied 31-31 and the Denver Broncos on the march against the stout defense of the Chieftains of Kansas City. I’m Stan Sloane – former Pro Bowl QB – here in the booth with my partner Marcus Aurelius, Last Good Emperor of Rome. Marcus, it’s been a heated contest so far. What do…