ByDiana Hurlburt

Diana is a corporate librarian in Cleveland. She spends a lot of time thinking about heavy metal subgenres.

  1. It was a big deal to central Florida Mormons when the Orlando Temple opened its doors in 1994--not just because prior to its construction, the closest Latter-Day Saint temple was a whopping seven hours away in Atlanta; my mom would drive up with her single friends and they would get Steak N Shake on the way and it seemed to be the greatest joy of her life, after her precious daughters of course--but

  2. When I was two my father committed suicide. This is why patriarchal religion was never going to work out, I once joked to my mother, because my family is incapable of telling the truth plainly.

  3. T.H. White was writing Gary Stus long before the term was coined, and he wasn't content with just one authorial insert. His most obvious projection in The Once and Future King, Merlyn, is also the most benign: an elderly tutor, fond of nature and hopeful of shaping young minds, an English professor in a wizard's cape. More interesting are the key male characters of The Once and Future King, Arthur himself and his most…

  4. Recently, while reorganizing my licensed fiction collection, I happened upon a certain Indiana Jones novel. Written by Martin Caidin, Indiana Jones and the White Witch is an interesting entry in the Indy canon; the novels by and large deal in conspiracy theories and world myths (Hollow Earth, unicorns, the location of Noah’s Ark) made plausible by application of Science and Manly Skepticism, but The White Witch features the very real religion of Wicca.


  5. Step 1: Admit that you are powerless to stop yourself from thinking and saying incendiary things. The demon seed throws out out a tiny rootlet the evening you ask your stepfather if the Law of Consecration is the same thing as Communism. He stares like you’ve grown horns. Later you hear him talking to your mother about how short your hair is.

    Step 2: Believe that pop culture can restore your sanity. The…

  6. I see you, dear reader. I understand you. You’ve got everyone from Anubis Gate to Zonaria on your iPod, but nothing to listen to. The obscurest Cappadocian underground thrashers are still too surface for your refined palate. It’s increasingly difficult to find metal’s cutting edge amidst Yngwie knock-offs and GTA soundtrack sell-outs. You’re the goddamn Henri, Le Chat Noir of the metal scene. Yet fear not, hipster kvltist! Sate your jaded ears with these nascent…