ByKristen Hanley Cardozo & Christine McMahon

Kristen studies literature in northern California when she's not yelling about history or watching every murder mystery on Netflix. Christine writes about disability and adaptive sports in the moments between recovering from major surgeries, wrestling bears, and baking pies. Kristen and Christine have been friends since fourth grade. They can frequently be found on the phone with each other, laid up in bed, discussing feminist murder mysteries and wilderness survival techniques to pass the time.

  1. Prop yourself up in the plaza: dispense optimistic, folksy wisdom to townsfolk whether they want to hear it or not.

    Dedicate several hours a day to revenge fantasies/plotting.

    Commission a mural directly over your bed so you have something to look at. Make it something you will never tire of. Perhaps a tasteful nude portrait of Peter Falk? You are after all, one classy invalid.