1. Why can't I find your menu online? 2. Do you have WiFi, and do you kick people out if they've been sitting at a table using your WiFi and making a show of drinking cold coffee for, say, a couple of hours, and all their food is long gone? 3. When exactly did you open? Because I must tell you, I only heard about your establishment a few days ago, and I am the…

Imagine a world without espresso-based drinks and desserts. How would white dudes even describe women's skin? They would stumble about openmouthed and speechless, unable to cobble together even the simplest of metaphors. Instead of skin like café au lait: "Her skin was like hot black coffee with the smallest amount of half-and-half mixed in: incredibly hot, and constantly swirling with rapidly-moving clouds." Instead of skin like mocha: "Her skin was like the largest organ in…